Thursday, May 17, 2012

a date, a cell phone and disco music

Dating just blows sometimes.  And NOT necessarily in a good way.  In an age where dates are only a "click of the the mouse" away, it's no wonder that the mere art of conversation, is getting lost in translation -or cyberspace.  Case in point, I went on a date recently (that alone is cause for celebration!)  and was having a good time.  UNTIL, we got to the restaurant, sat down at our table, and he reached into his coat pocket and produced his phone.  He proceeded to lay it on the table, right next to the bread basket.  My first thought was that maybe he was a doctor and was on call (he's not a doctor), or maybe he is expecting a life and death phone call and doesn't want to miss it.  (He was not, I asked)  I bit my tongue and did not say a word.  Just let it go Yvonne, enjoy the moment.  Well, in a perfect world and all, I would have totally done just that.  But in my world, he is seemingly having a conversation with me, but his eyes keep wandering to his phone every other minute.  I finally asked him if he needed or wanted to be somewhere else, to which he replied, "Of course not!  I am enjoying getting to know you."  To which I retored, "Um, really?  How can that be?  We've barely exchanged no more than three sentences since we've sat down."  I voiced my concern about the phone and how I thought it was rude.  He sulked and hmmed and hawed, but finally put the phone back in his pocket.  As the evening wore on, I watched him as he tried really hard NOT to reach into his coat pocket.  And for that night, at least, the rest of the time he was with me, we did not see the phone out again.

Here's the thing, his rudeness or lack of manners, could have very well been a result of his having no interest in me, in that way.  I realize this, I'm not shallow Hal over here.  But even if he wasn't, that does not excuse his thoughtlessness.  Does it?  I myself, have on several occasions, felt the need to have that phone out on the table, in plain sight, as if I wouldn't be able to hear it or see who's checked in where on Facebook, or read one of the latest random texts I tend to get.  I'm just as guilty.  I own that. But I've never done that while on a date.  Not that that makes it any less inappropriate.  Rude is rude.  It baffles me to no end, how a simple little gadget as a cell phone, can take over our entire life and/or lifestyle.  Think about it, we wake up, we check our phone.  We come to a stop light, we check our phone. We're walking the dog outside, we're on the phone.  Really? Come on society! What the fuck? (Sorry so crass, I get "potty mouth" when fired up) Where is the human contact?  Where is the intimacy of a face to face conversation? Mind boggling isn't it?  Well that, and a little sad.  A few nights ago, while out having dinner with friends, I started to take out my phone, but caught myself.  I would not do it again.  I would make a conscience effort to have a conversation, to enjoy my friends' company, the phone could wait.  Oh it was a little hard for me to do it at first.  Not gonna lie.  But I did do it. And I will continue to do so.  You can too!  Try it.

So the date? Meh, I gave him another chance but it just didn't work out.  I won't be seeing him again.  He is too self-absorbed.  And so, my dating roulette rolls again.

Before I go, I wanted to share this video with all of you.  1970's "Disco Queen", Donna Summers,  died today.  Yet another iconic figure, gone.   I loved her music.  I never got to see her perform live, but if I had, I would have wanted her to sing this song:

Be good  kids!  Happy Weekend!


'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I'm so glad you wrote about your feelings concerning the cell phone use and loss of real interaction. I could not agree more on this topic. I have an old simple cell phone that you will never see unless the call is truly important just for these reasons. I've also heard that smart phones are the equivalent of a slot machine in your pocket in their addictiveness. At any moment something juicy could come through and you just have to keep pulling that lever (constantly looking at the phone) in order to see if you've 'won' and nobody ever thinks about all that is lost while trading real human interaction for the phone, just like the slot machine when most people only talk about when they win and never mention the money they've lost. Yeah, I've given this quite a bit of thought!
Better luck with the next lucky man to date you!

ghulam sarwar said...

thank you for sharing

sameer said...

nice work

Anonymous said...

Wow...those are some classic comments right there ^^ at least Jasmine's is real.

Anyway, I'm astounded at how quickly and completely technology has taken over our lives. The insatiable need to be connected 24/7 has detached us from being connected in any meaningful, personal way. And we're the crazy ones. We're the ones that don't get it. How do we convince them that they're idiots and they're more isolated and dependent and vulnerable than us?

Have you ever watched The Twilight Zone? There were a whole bunch of episodes about man's obsession with robots/computers/etc... one in particular where a scientist/programmer type guy actually fell in love with his machine (neglecting his wife in the process) ... and that was 1962!!!! Rod Serling>Nostradamus

And what about 1984?!?!? Big Brother is watching us though our iPhones and Facebook pages and nobody cares WTF?!!?

George Orwell> Rod Serling>Nostradamus

Okay, I'm gonna go now, before my comment eclipses your post! Have a great weekend, and yay for not letting your dates ignore you! :)

David Batista said...

I don't think I'll ever understand the addiction with cell phones today. Texting and checking FB every 3 seconds . . . that's what I see all the time here in NYC, and I absolutely hate it. It's one of my peeves. I mean, I have a smartphone and love all the apps and ease of use and all that jazz. But when I'm out and about, I tend to forget it's in my pocket. I wouldn't even dream about taking it out and setting it on the table when eating with others. Wow.

Yvonne said...

YRJ-I've never thought about it that way before, but yes, smart phones are totally addicting!

Insomniac- Ha! Good call on the spammers. Yeah I used to watch the Twilight Zone. It would freak me out sometimes, so I usually forced one of my brothers to watch it with me! ;)

David- ahh, see? you're one of the good guys. i went to church today and there as woman sitting beside me on facebook -during mass! wtf? unbelievable!

Miss Vicki said...

Awesome story :-) What DID happen human contact??

Yvonne said...

Miss Vicki- Thank you! Indeed, it appears that human contact has been taken over by technology.

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