Thursday, June 25, 2020

The Saga Continues

As much as I don't want to write about the Covid, I can't help but to do just that. 

It's surrounding us. 
Holding us hostage. 
Some will survive. 
Some will die. 

We can't escape it even though we try.  Oh how we try. 
Some deny it's very existence.
and become resisters and do not heed warnings.
Others still, do all that is asked and proceed with caution
and still
get sick

A sense of "normalcy" returns
Only to be interrupted again as a result of people being people.  As a result of us wanting to return the way we were

to roam the world
Able to go out and be with friends
Spend time with family
Hug them

I am a hugger and not being able to physically touch them all these months has been torture for me.  But my parents are elderly and I want them with me for a long, long, time.

I miss being able to do everyday things that we never even gave a second thought to before,
but now it's all we do. 
Second guess. 
Question ourselves.

Should I?
But what if?

How is this life?

Everything seems to be falling apart. 
My anxiety is eating away at me and at times I feel as if I can't breathe.

Being positive and staying prayerful is what saves me. 
But even that
sometimes falls short.


Saturday, June 20, 2020

A Post Not COVID-19 Related-Part Deux

The Aftermath

As you know (if you read my previous post)  I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy procedure on Friday afternoon.  In order for this to happen, I had to "prep" for it the day before.  Per my doctor's orders, I was not to eat or drink anything ALL DAY Thursday and I had to immediately begin drinking that oh so tasty concoction they call "The Prep", as soon as I got home from work.  Let me tell you something about that "prep", it is disgusting.  It's a clear liquid that comes in two 6 oz bottles.  I had pour one of the bottles into a 16 oz cup and mix it with water.  It smells like a combination of furniture cleaner and mildew.  I had to drink it Thursday evening and then again first thing in the morning.  This of course prepared your insides to be cleansed.  I'll spare you the details.

My procedure was scheduled for late in the afternoon, which meant that I was not to eat or drink anything that day either, until after everything was done.  Y'all I was beyond hangry when I got to the hospital for pre-op and although everyone was so nice and so attentive, I wanted to scream at them because they were moving at a snail pace and it was killing me.  The colonoscopy and endoscopy took all of 24 minutes.  Yes that's right boys and girls, 24 minutes, I asked.  The pre-op took almost two hours!  TWO.HOURS.  There was a lot of waiting and filling out of papers and signing my life away, and inserting the IV.  I swear I got pricked so many times I felt like I was a pin doll or something.  The best part was when they gave me the anesthesia. The last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist asking me if I was ok.   I was out like a light.  I woke up groggy, hungry and thirsty.  But I felt as if I had just taken the best "nap" in a long time.  

Test results were negative for cancer, thank God.  That was the main concern of my doctor and me of course.  She did find that I a minor issue in my stomach that they had to biopsy but she's not overly concerned about it and neither am I at this point.  I'm just glad that I don't have to do this again until ten LONG years from now.  The end of this saga in my life was kind of a letdown.  I kind feel like I should have at least been given a "I Survived A Colonoscopy and Endoscopy during a Pandemic" tee-shirt or something.  But no, I just got copies of the endless documents I had signed  and oh yes, pictures.  I almost forgot to mention that.  They give you frigging pictures of your colon and your butt inner things. Because who doesn't want to see those body parts up close and personal like that?  One word.  GROSS.  I took one look (a quick one) and put them away.  Not the kind of souvenir I like to collect.

One of the nurses asked me as she was discharging me, if I was going out to eat once I left the hospital.  I laughed and nodded yes but honestly, I was too groggy to do anything but sleep on my way home.  So my "feast" consisted of scrambled eggs and toast.  Best.Meal.Ever.  My tummy approved  :)

Words of advice to everyone, please take care of yourselves and listen to your body.  And even if you have to put on your big girl panties or big boy underwear, do it.  Take the tests.  Have the procedures.  Your life is too beautiful not to take care of it.  Yes, even during this crazy ass year of ours.  Life is beautiful.


Wednesday, June 17, 2020

A Post NOT about COVID-19

"I'll take a colonoscopy straight, with a splash of endoscopy, please bartender."  -Whoever heard of that concoction before ay?  I'll tell you who.  Me.  I'm not happy about it so I thought, "Hey, I know what will make me feel better, let me blog about it!"  That way you too, can take part in my misery.  You're welcome friends.  Oh don't act surprised or grossed out.  I've written about much more disgusting stuff before. 

It's true friends, my doctor has been hounding me ad nauseum for over a year to get this done.  Naturally, I did nothing of the sort and avoided it like the plague.  Unfortunately, recent issues presented themselves that forced me to face this crap.  -eh sorry for the unoriginal pun.  Fully intended of course.

But wait, there's more.  Not only did my doctor (who is awesome by the way) order the colonoscopy but also an endoscopy.  Mmm hmm.  She don't mess around.  When she told me, I started laughing.  Not because any of what she said was remotely funny, but because I laugh when I get nervous.  It's true.  I laugh uncontrollably sometimes.  It's gotten me into trouble more times than not.  But I digress.

The good doc reassured me that both procedures are easy-peasy and that the worst part is drinking that nasty concoction that I mentioned in the beginning of this mumbo jumbo of mine.  Yep.  I've asked many a friend who have had this done and all but one confirm that the "cleansing" drink  is by far the worst of the entire ordeal.  My friend Suzy. (the one) she said for her, the worst part was not being able to eat before the procedure.  Different strokes for different folks I guess.  But food IS important.  :)

My day of reckoning is this Friday at 2;30 p.m. 

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not scared.  I mean, sure I've survived several hurricanes, a few tornados, couple of floods in my lifetime but anytime I have to be put under and probed, I lose my Wonder Woman bad-assery and turn into a big ol' baby.  Yep.  Even at 53 (and holding).  What? It happens.  I don't know to who else but it happens.

It sucks getting older.  There I said it.  It really does.  Before I turned 50, NOTHING ached but it seems the minute I woke up on my 50th year around the sun, I broke and I have not been the same since.  But I keep trying.  And as long as I do that, I think I will be just fine.

If you have read this far, you're the real MVPs.  Really. 

If you are of the praying kind, I would appreciate a prayer for my procedure to go well and for everything to be ok with me.  Thank you.

A few more randoms:  I miss baseball.  I miss my Astros.  I hate COVID-19.  2020 can suck a big one.  Politics suck.  I hate hate.  I detest racism.  I loathe liars.  I am sad for our country.  But I really, really miss the Astros.

Good night.

Chapter 56

The sunlight peeping through the curtains, stir her from her sleep.  Her eyes open and she rubs them a bit before sitting up in bed.  Eyes n...