Rainy Sunday

Rainy Sunday

Rest. Don't think. Don't do.  Just live in the moment.

Most times the it is a blessing.

Today it was a curse.

Too much time to let my mind wander aimlessly

worse case scenarios

never-ending problems

tragic endings

worry

pity this is not about ideas for my next story or poem

Lots of talking myself off the ledge of anxiety

The thunder breaks my fall

Once again I escape the abyss

Achy Breaky Body

Getting older is a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because we are alive and kicking.  A blessing because we have opportunities to make a difference, to let our light shine, to be our best self and create our life in the manner we see fit.  A blessing because we can right a wrong.  Ah but the flipside of that coin is the curse.  All of a sudden, a new day brings about a new body part that aches or cracks or just flat out gives out on you without any warning.  It's so frustrating.  But what are we going to do?  The alternative is not an option -not for me and it better not be for you either.  

I  went to the doctor today to get knee injections.  Yes, one for each knee.  This is not new.  I started getting them last year -pre-pandemic and then when doctors offices started seeing patients in person again.  I normally get them every four months but this year has been a little crazy (as if you didn't know) so I am a little behind and a lot in pain.  I was almost in tears when I begged the doctor to squeeze me in for an appointment.  Mercifully, she did.  My knees are full of arthritis and not in the best shape.  The doctor has recommended weight loss to give me some relief and depending on how that goes, then she can rule out knee replacements.  

Yuck.  

Oh but that's not all.  Come on now, you should know me and my dramatic self by now.  In addition to the knees, I have also been having major hip pain.  So major that some days it's debilitating.  It limits how far I can walk or if I can even stand up.  Those are my worse days.  The doctor thinks hip replacement is a last resort and I wholeheartedly agree with her.  I refuse to have that happen to me.  But for this to happen, I have to change my entire way of life and make major changes.  Nothing mind-boggling.  It's the usual, what we ALL should be doing.   Taking care of ourselves, watching what we eat, listening to our bodies -they talk to us all the time, we just tune them out sometimes.  Or in my case, all the time.  

It's hard y'all.  But it's something that I have to do because I have so much living left to do.  I don't have a choice and this is not up for discussion.  I know the consequences if I don't act now.  

Getting older.  Gotta love it.  And I do.  Arthritis, cracked knees, wonky hips and all. 

The bewitching hour is upon us.  Sweet dreams bloggies.

Dating Vibes -Got Any?

To date or not to date?  That is the question.  What is the answer?  Well for me, it's the latter.  I have not been on a real date in a very long time.  I'm talking since before the pandemic days.  Why you ask?  Hmm, the short answer is that I am not sure why.  I've always been a social butterfly and meeting people has never been a problem for me, so again, I'm not really sure.

 A friend of mine of the male persuasion suggested to me that while I am social, I may be giving off the "I don't want to date" vibe, thus turning men away without even knowing that I'm turning men away.  That last sentence I think is true.  If I really think about it and play out the last few times I have been out, the way I carried myself with people -men specifically,  I can honestly say that I  could indeed have been sabotaging myself.  I suppose I'm scared.  Scared of dipping my toes into that pool of uncertainty and heart-break.  I've been in it many times before and the outcome hasn't always been a happy one.

Huh.  Who knew one of my guy friends would result in a pseudo therapist?  He told me this first consult was free but that the next time he would charge me.  "Calm down Dr. Ruth"  I retorted.  He backed down.

Dating is hard.  Dating during a pandemic is almost impossible.  Almost.  I know quite a few people that went on virtual dates for awhile and it worked -for them.  Me?  I need the live and in person connection.  Maybe now that things are seemingly getting better for us (fingers crossed) maybe I will put my big girl panties on and try again.  But how does one go from emitting "stay away from me" vibes to "I'm ready to date" vibes without seeming desperate?  Hmm, how indeed.   

 Stay tuned for another episode of "As Yvonne Dates -or not" in future posts.

It's the weekend friends, go out and enjoy the hell out of it.

-peace.