Wednesday, April 22, 2020

after midnight thoughts

breathe in
breathe out
and again

i'm scared
i'm tired
i'm frustrated
i'm anxious
i'm worried

hi bloggies.  it's been a long while since i have written anything.  get ready because i am making up for lost time.

nothing is the same.  nothing will ever be the same.  the days overlap into each other,  no one is sure what day of the week it is.  we are no longer in a hurry to get anywhere. time is all we have now.

i've not dealt with something like this before, as i imagine, all if not most of you, haven't either.  what a weird time we are living in, eh kids?  it's like we are in our own apacolyptic movie except that instead of fighting off zombies, extraterrestrials and the like, we are fighting a virus.  an invisible, visible virus.  how the hell do we fight that?  i watched contagion over the weekend just for kicks and maybe a few tips but meh, i got nothing.  what's happening in our world today is downright unbelievable  never in my life could i have ever imagined something like this taking place.  and yet, here we are.

my heart breaks for the loss of life all over the world as a result of covid19.  my heart also breaks for all of the doctors and nurses who are working their ass off for me, for you, for all of us.  thank you can never be enough.  not to forget our police and firefighters and emts.  they are the real mvps.

how incredibly messed up our country is right now.  this pandemic has brought out the crazy in just about all of us.  it sucks not being able to see and hug family, friends and even strangers if i'm being honest.  it sucks that baseball season is in limbo.  i miss baseball so much.  i miss alot of things so much.  isn't it ironic how we had all of this freedom to go anywhere we wanted and do whatever we wanted and in a span of days even hours, all that stopped.  just like that. 

another thing this stupid virus has caused is depression.  that ugly monster of mine has reared it's ugly head once again and this time, it's winning.  i just can't get it together emotionally.  thank God I am working and have to actually go into the office.  i don't know what i would do if i had to work from home.  i guess working for city government and being considered an essential employee pays off after all.  kidding. not really.

the silver lining that i have witnessed over and over again during these chaotic times, is that disasters even as unprecedented as this one, tends to bring out the best in people.  the kindness and selfless acts i have witnessed lately is heart-warming and worthy of alot of ugly cries.  at times giving me the warm and fuzzy feelings all over.  you see bloggies?  people are not as heartless as they pretend to be.  wait.  let me rephrase that.  not all people are as heartless as they claim to be and that gives me hope.

have y'all been drinking way more than usual since all of this started?  i for one have been steadily contributing to our failing economy by spending my pennies buying alcohol as if i was having a huge party. (every week) well i am in a way, a party for one.  wine and vodka (not to be consumed together, unless you're into that kind of headache) are my poison. what's yours?

speaking of dating, this social distancing jazz and city shut down has put a damper on my dating life.  if i had one that is.  how is your dating life or marriage life going?  do tell.  really. i'm bored out of my mind. 

well bloggies i must bid adieu.  it's been a long day and 6:00 a.m. comes awfully fast -just like a man. haha, i crack myself up.

be well everyone.


Chapter 56

The sunlight peeping through the curtains, stir her from her sleep.  Her eyes open and she rubs them a bit before sitting up in bed.  Eyes n...