Warning: Shopping May be Detrimental to Your Self-Esteem

It really sucks when one of your favorite past-times is ruined because of something someone says or assumes about you.  Kind of that moment that you realize there is no real Santa Claus.  Yeah, kinda like that.

The other day I went to Ross.  (think Target but cheaper more reasonably priced) After picking up a few things, I went to the first available cashier, handed her my items and waited for the total.  The cashier was all of 19, maybe.  She rang everything up and then looked at me and asked, "Are you a Senior Citizen?"  Wait.  Whaaaat?  Naturally, being the blurt the first thing that comes to mind kinda gal, I replied, "Do I look like a senior citizen???"  I said it with a smile on my face but inside I was freaking out.   I mean, no one and I mean, NO ONE has ever asked me that before and I still get carded at bars and clubs.  Ok, just once but still.  I immediately started thinking I looked like Sophia from Golden Girls instead of Salma Hayek. No there is no resemblance between me and Salma. I am just being dramatic again.  Anyway, the poor cashier thought I was about to go off on her.  She had this wide-eyed look on her face and began apologizing profusely.  "No mam, I, I it's Senior Citizen Tuesday and I have to ask every guest."  -uh huh, every guest.  Sure you do.  I didn't blurt out what I was thinking but instead eased her angst and told her it was ok, that I was not offended, just found it funny.  Heh.  Funny my ass.  She gave me my change and my bag of goodies and  I told her to have a great evening and walked out of the store.

Driving home I kept wondering to myself if all this time that I thought I looked great for having turned fifty, I actually looked like, like, well, like Sophia from Golden Girls, or worse, Dorothy!  Of course that would be kind of impossible since I'm only 4'10 and she is an Amazon. I know it's silly but that girl's question really messed me up.  Had I let myself go?  Did I look like those wannabe youngsters that were really middle-aged phonies?  Had I lost my hotness factor and suddenly turned into an *old woman*???  My mind went into overdrive and I suddenly became sad.

Naturally, upon arriving home, I recounted my mis-adventure to my sister, my mom, my best friend.  Basically anyone who would listen.  And basically, I drove them nuts for the next few days.  See? I am a little alot OCD.  I can't just 'forget about it' like everyone told me to.  I wanted answers dammit.  I wanted validation that I was not old and decrepit.  I wanted to be told I was beautiful and hot and not elderly at all.  But alas, no one told me those things. Well, they told me I didn't look like a senior citizen.  Meaning, I didn't look old.  But since I obsess about everything, I just could not let it go.

I poured over recent and old photos of me.  I examined my wardrobe.  I still didn't see it. I still didn't see "old" when I looked at those pictures or when I looked in the mirror.  Sure, I'm older.  Sure, I have a wrinkle or two and laugh lines.  But elderly? Me?  Not on my watch sister.  Not today and not tomorrow either. I dusted myself off, wiped the pity party tears and declared myself "old as I want to be" and reminded myself that age is nothing but a number.  And that night, I put on my hottest outfit, wore my signature deep red lipstick, flipped my hair and went out to a friend's party. Totally rocked being fifty.  Oh and got a 25 year old hottie's number too. So what if I will never call him? The important lesson here kiddies, is that we are all beautiful/handsome and sexy as we make ourselves feel.  It has nothing to do with others' perception of us. 

But I don't think I will go back to that particular Ross store anytime soon.

Hall of Fame kinda weekend

Today was not just any other Sunday.  Today was Baseball Hall of Fame Sunday.  A day where the baseball greats of years past, congregate and hold the distinct honor of being inducted into Major League Baseball's Hall of Fame.  A feat only a select few are fortunate to embrace.  There, in the quiet and picturesque town, the players are forever etched.  Just like I was two years ago when Craig Biggio made it to Cooperstown, today I am all kinds of happy and proud to watch Jeff Bagwell get his turn.  How incredibly proud and excited I was watching him give his speech today.  I may or may not have shed a tear or two when he spoke about his relationship with his dad and the love for his wife and kids.  A real "aww" moment.  But perhaps the real heart tugger came not from watching the ceremony, but from three pictures that my sister-in-law posted on Facebook. They were pictures of my brother Carlos, sitting on his sofa, donning his Astros cap and clapping excitedly as the tv panned to Jeff Bagwell.  The other two pictures are of him just fixated on the screen before him, as Baggy gave his speech.  I looked at the pictures and saw that little boy that used to tag a long with my dad and my other brother to the dome way back when to watch the Astros.  I saw that little boy that played his heart out in little league baseball.  I saw the amazing father that he has become to his three children.  And my heart swelled with love.  I would post the pictures but he would probably raise a big stink about it.  So, I will keep the peace.  Too bad my brother Rene chose to frolic in the sandy beaches of Mexico or else he would have been sitting beside Carlos as well.

Congratulations #5!  A long time coming but definitely worth the wait.   And I would be remiss if I did not mention the throngs of fans that traveled to Cooperstown to witness history in the making.  H-town was well represented today.  Every time the cameras panned the crowds, all you saw was a sea of orange, or rainbow colors and Jeff Bagwell's name everywhere.  Really a cool sight to see.