Weepy Wednesday Night...

Not feeling the excitment or anticipation for the coming year. Guess I have the post-Christmas blues. I dunno. Thinking about the future has always scared me. Maybe because I'm afraid of failing, yet again. Or setting unrealistic goals so I never reach them. I guess that's it. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of so many different things. Some time ago, I wrote a post about how I don't always like being the "cheerleader" or "Pollyanna" of the bunch. How I want someone else to take over that role and be my Pollyanna. Well, it's kind of like I'm feeling tonight. There is so much crap going on in my life, my family's life. I wish I could just blink it all away and make everyone happy and not suffer. But I can't do that. And actually, at this moment I can't even make myself happy. How am I suppose to do it for anyone else? I'm typing through the flood of tears that are falling down my face. But I can't stop. You see, thinking about the future, forces me to look at the past. And while I've made incredible improvement this year and survived with my sanity intact, I can't shake the person that I USED to be from the person that I WANT to be. Does that even make sense? It's like I'm sabotaging my own success, my own life. Ugh! This wasn't supposed to be a "boo-hoo" post. Sigh, once again, I will rely on my faith, my friends, my family and my drive to be a better version of myself. That's all I can do.

And for now, that's as good as it gets.

Food for Thought

There is something to be said about loving what you do for a living. Case in point, there is a small deli in the basement of our building where I work. On occasion, I frequent said deli. There is a woman who works there, she prepares the sandwiches or hot plate that you order. What I love about this woman is that she is very precise and meticulate about how she prepares the food. It's almost an art form! I watch her as she cuts just so and pours just enough of whatever topping we have requested. She doesn't just go through the motions. She takes her time but is quick about it, she will even break out in song at times, and she takes pride in what she does. You're going to think I'm crazy (eh, ok I left myself wide open for that!) but the food tastes much better when she makes it. One day I went down there and she was nowhere to be found. Instead, someone else helped me. She was very cold and she just slapped the meat on the plate, no idle chatter either. Didn't even wish me a good day or a smile for god sake! And when I tasted what she had prepared for me, it did not taste as good as Tracy's food. Really! Later that same week, I went back to the deli and this time Tracy was there. I told her about that day and how the food didn't taste the same and she said it was because "so and so" didn't prepare it with any TLC. "You gotta give the food a little tender lovin' care, puddin!" Hmm, she was right of course! That prompted me to remember a time when I was little (no short jokes please!). My mom would make dinner for us all the time right? Well one day, the lady that cleaned our house had to make dinner because my mom was running late. We ate the food but it tasted bland and just, cold. And not in the sense that it needed to be heated some more either! I remember telling my mom about it and she smiled and said it was because she didn't make it with "amor" which means love. And she was right. When we are doing something we love, or doing something for someone we love, we are extra carful with our creation. This can also apply to our career, or love life, or even our hopes and dreams. Sprinkle them with a dash of care and a smidgen of love and the result will be finger licking good!

I hope all of you encounter someone like Tracy in your life. And not just in a deli either.

Red Thongs and Other NYE Traditions!

So in my previous post I wrote about my Sunday Fun Day at my friend's house. Well, what I forgot to mention was that all the girs received parting gifts! Woohoo! More presents! K emerged from her bedroom and handed out the most cutest leopard print bags to us.

"This is for Friday because I want all of you to have lots of love in the coming year!"

We giggled and started looking in the bag. One by one we each pulled out these red laced thongs. The fact that the leopard print bags had "Fredericks of Hollywood" printed on them should have been a warning to us! But again, we were a bit intoxicated to notice! The girls laughed, some of the guys blushed, some looked away and some wanted a modeling session! Ha! Yeah right!

"Let us tell you if they look good or not!" that remark came from I. (male obviously)

To which I replied, "No, that way on Friday night, when you see us, you can think about what we're wearing underneath!"

I thought it was funny! The guys said we were just cruel. Wah, freaking wah!

Ok so if you are not aware, wearing red panties on NYE is a tradition of sorts. It is said that by doing so, you will have good luck with love. I have no earthly idea where that tradition or folkore or fairy tale came from, but for the past umpteenth years, yours truly has been wearing red panties on NYE. They don't necessarily need to be thongs either. Just red. Now, given my track record thus far, I would venture to say that this is all a bunch of baloney but that's just ME!

Driving home I thought about other traditions for NYE. I know about the twelve grapes at midnight, and the black-eyed peas, what are some others?

Come on, I'm wide awake, entertain me!

Sunday Fun Day

A friend of mine had Sunday-Funday at her place today. She just called it that. It's just a small group of friends, male and female, getting together for board games or movies, food and adult beverages of course! This little soiree took place in the early afternoon. We played Jenga. Basically, it's a bunch of log looking things and you set it up, kind of like a pyramid. The object of the game is to remove all of the "logs" without causing the "pyramid" to fall apart. Simple isn't it? Yeah, you would think! Once you removed the log, you turned it over and read what was written on it. For example, one of the logs I removed said, "Kiss the person to the right of you" or another said, "Turn in circles really fast, 10 times" or "Recite the alphabet backwards in a different language other than English" Normally, some of these things would be no problem, but K made Mimosas and they were potent! I think she forgot the OJ and just poured the champagne! And we were drinking long before we started playing games! So we were all a bit buzzed when Jenga came a calling! But wait! There's more! Not only was the "loser" subjected to holding the title of "Pyramid destroyer", they also had to take a shot! lol Since it was Sunday, and most of us have to work tomorrow, no one wanted to do tequilla so we improvised and had vodka and wine. (because that was better than tequilla. yeah. that's our story) No not together! The loser could choose which poison they wanted. I had to sing for 2 minutes straight! I picked some random song in my head and kept messing up the lyrics! Surprise, surprise!

Anyway, I really enjoy these little get togethers with friends.

"Got sleep?"

My good ol' frienemy "Insomnia" decided to pay me a visit tonight. Tonight, when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and fall into a slumber. Tonight, when I had already told myself I was going to go to sleep at a decent hour. I've got an early day tomorrow. Yeah well, so much for planning ahead and all that. Laying in bed for almost two hours now, just tossing and turning and thinking, always thinking, I gave up on the sleep thing and came here, to catch up on some blogs I had not read. But I'm finished with that.

So now what?

Ugh! This is insane! I'm so tired. Insomnia had been rather distant lately, and I thought it was actually gone for good. But I guess I was wrong! Hmm, maybe it's the whole, "Monday" angst or the thought of all the work that I have waiting for me when I get into the office.

Whatever. I just want to go to sleep!

Merry Christmas!

With all the hustle and bustle and last minute rush that goes along with Christmas Eve, I wanted to take a minute to thank each and every one of you my fellow bloggers. For taking the time to visit my blog, to comment or to laugh at it! I appreciate all! I started blogging again after years of silence. It started as a way to distract myself from the worries of being unemployed. But it soon took a life of it's own and basically, saved my sanity. I've been through a lot these last six months and had it not been for this form of "therapy" as I like to call it, I would be in a very dark place right now. So, I thank you and I hope to give back even a morsel of what you all continue to give me.

Here's hoping Santa brings you all that you wished for!

Christmas Eve-Eve

I woke up today in a panic. Not because I had another nightmare, but because when I opened my eyes and looked out the window, the sun was shinning. "Shit!" I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth! All I kept thinking was, "I'm late! Fuck! I'm late!" Just then, mouth full of toothpaste, it dawned on me that I was off today. No need to go to the office. Bleh! I hate when that happens! So I finished brushing, and relieved, stumbled back to my comfy bed. It was there, in bed, that I went over my To Do List for today.

1. Brave the crowds and hit the malls in search of one more gift
2. Quick trip to the liquor store(hey, something's gotta get me through this madness!)
4. Wrap all the goodies I bought
5. Bake treats for our family get together tomorrow night

Sigh, so much to do! Just thinking about all of that made me tired. Hopefully this evening I'll be able to meet up with a friend who flew in from Vegas to be with his family for Christmas. I haven't seen him in years so I'm looking forward to that! I think we may go dancing!

Santa's coming peeps! Now go get ready, I am! :)

A Time of Wonder!

I went to yet another Christmas party this evening. (the last one of the season -as far as work goes!)Very low-key and tame, compared to the ones from last week and this past weekend! So anyway, driving home I remembered that I had not done my Christmas ritual yet. Which is, every December, when the city dresses up for the holidays, I often take long drives around decorated neighborhoods and admire the pretty lights, the nativity scenes, the cheesy Santas and reindeer on the lawns. I never know which area of town I'm going to pass by, I just drive and eventually end up just where I'm supposed to be. Tonight, I was near downtown so I drove in that direction and ooohed and awed at the beautiful trees lit up in so many vibrant colors, and watched as the theatre crowd walked hurriedly in an effort to get to their respective performances. There were also people strolling casually up and down the sidewalks, taking in all the Christmas spirit. Some took pictures, some posed for pictures. Music resonated from a saxophone as a starving musician played for the crowds. Street vendors were in full force, working hard to entice customers to buy their goodies. I found a parking space not too far from the saxophone man and just sat in my car and admired the enormous Christmas tree perched in front of City Hall. Time escaped me when I took these drives. It calmed me and recharged me, and I enjoyed that moment. Sometimes, we're so worried about all the material things that the simple things, escape us. And we miss out. I'm glad I didn't miss out.

Thanks for coming on this drive with me.

The Weather, Santa and Me

Lets talk weather. Oh I know, I know, you're all holding your breath and giddy with excitement about my topic of choice to blog about aren't you??? Oh cut me some slack! My brain seems to have turned to mush all of a sudden and I keep fumbling for words -so this is as good as it gets tonight! Here it is, December 22nd, almost Christmas, and I'm sitting in a tank top and shorts, the ceiling fan is going and the air conditioner is on! Freaking schizo weather!!! It's cold, it's hot, it's cold, it's hot
-just make up your mind already! Sheesh! I do sympathize with the part of the country that is being hit hard by unrelentless rain and/or snow! That's no fun! But while I sympathize, I'm very upset about this ridiculous hot weather! It's almost Christmas! I want sweater weather dammit! I want to wear my new coat! My hot red boots! I just can't get in the Christmas-y spirit or get in the mood to shop or to wrap gifts if I'm breaking a sweat! Bah humbug! By the way, who says that??? And just what is a Humbug anyway? So all this thinking and bitching about the inclimate weather made me think! (I do that occasionally believe it or not!)I thought I'd send the Big Man in the North Pole a warning. It goes something like this:

Dear Santa,

Fyi -dress casual when you come to Houston. And you might want to rethink that whole red suit and boots ensemble and maybe even shave your beard! Hey, I'm just trying to help you out so you won't melt from the muggy and humidity. And yes, I know you won't really melt, that only happens to Frosty, I was just speaking figuratively of course!

Signed,

A concerned believer

This post was brought to you courtesy of Writers block -hindering creativity for centuries upon centuries.

Thanks to those who read to the end, thanks for dropping by and don't forget to be good to the waitstaff on your way out.

Good night!

Love Not Mine

Part fiction, part true. A good mix of events that transpired. Trying to make it into a short story. What do you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My doorbell rang a little after 10:00 p.m. It was Wednesday night, December 23rd. Christmas-Eve-Eve. Who the heck was at my door and why? I peered through the peep hole but I couldn't see anything, or I couldn't make anything out. I made a mental note to speak to my landlord about this sometime in the future.

"Who is it?" I asked through the door.

"It's me baby."

My heart skipped about a million times over and immediately my entire being smiled with happiness. I hurriedly unlocked the door and flung it open. And there he was. My love. He smiled at me, with that sheepish grin that I found so sexy, opened his arms and I let myself fall into them.

We stood there at my doorway embracing each other, holding each other. There was no need for words. I let him in, and quickly, he spun me around, pinning me to the door, staring at me, teasing me with his mouth,until finally, he kissed me. Hungrily, anxiously and without abandon. We made our way to my bedroom. And it was there that time stopped. The only thing that mattered was that moment and nothing else. We made love over and over into the wee hours of the early morning. Finally, just before my alarm clock went off, we drifted off to sleep in each others arms. Sometime later that morning, I woke up. He was still sleeping. I stared at this man. This man I loved. And I felt so happy, yet, so very sad. He woke up at that moment and smiled at me. I kissed him.

"Good morning" he whispered.

"Good morning." I answered, smiling back at him.

"I have to go." he said as he got up and started getting dressed.

"I know." I responded. I sat up and watched him get dressed. I knew the routine. He'd get dressed, I'd walk him to the door, kiss him goodbye and as soon as he was gone, I'd burst into tears. Vowing to myself that I would not let it happen again.

Until the next time.

"My Friends Like to Party All The Time, Party All The Time..."

Not sure that's the right title. Eh, close enough! Remember that song by Eddie Murphy? hahaha Yeah that's me. I've been partying like a rockstar since Thanksgiving eve! Just got home, 2:00 am and I'm one tired, sleepy and slightly intoxicated muchacha. But just HAD to get on and tell you guys that tomorrow or, in a few hours rather, I will be GUEST blogging on my good friend Cinderita's blog The Adventures of Cinderita If you haven't already done so, you should definitely check her blog out! It's inspirational and motivational and very funny! I hope my post does her blog justice.

I'm trying very hard to type without making any mistakes. But my eyes are getting heavier and heavier and I'm seeing two keyboards. NO bueno! Work is going to suck tomorrow -I mean in a few hours!

Best party ever! So much fun! Now time for sleep.

Good night.

Hairgasmic!

I went to get my hair cut this evening. Nothing drastic, just needed it thinned out a bit. I have MASSIVE hair! MASSIVE! Anyway, so I didn't set out to get it cut initially. It went down like this, after work I braved the mass crowds of Christmas shoppers and ventured to the mall. I needed a "sexy" kind of outfit for tomorrow's Christmas party. After wrestling with the crowds and the over the top anxious sales people, I gave up and defeatedly, walked through the mall towards the garage for the long drive home -empty-handed. I guess I'll just magically pull something HOT out of my closet. That was my plan of action. So as I neared the garage, I passed by a hair salon that one of my friends had always raved about. I had never tried it before. I'm very loyal to my hairstylist. But eh, what the heck? I didn't find anything to wear, may as well get a hair cut! Right? Right!

So in I went. And oh my gawd! The shampoo girl gave me the BEST.SCALP.MASSAGE.EVER!!! Seriously. I don't smoke, (well only in bed, but I digress) but I swear, I had the urge to smoke a cigarette after that massage! After regaining my compusure -I'm sure I had this glazed look on my face! The shampoo/master scalp massager, led me to my hairstylist. His name was Ty. This is where I started getting a little scared. I mean, what was I thinking? I NEVER cheat on my stylist! What if this guy doesn't know what he's doing??? As Ty led me to his chair, I said a little prayer and braced myself for what was to come. Well, what was to come was the most awesome experience! (Not in the same way as my AWESOME scalp massage, a different kind of Awesome!) He wasn't just a "hair stylist" he was freaking Edward Scissorhands! I didn't get a lot of hair cut off, like I said, I just needed it thinned out. But the style he gave me tonight was so pretty! If I had a picture I would post it! Just take my word for it ok? Great, thanks! :)

"What do you think?" Ty asked me when he was finished.
I smiled from ear to ear and told him it was fabulous. And it was!

Now if only the party was tonight instead of tomorrow night! Driving home I was still in "Hair/Massage heaven" when a feeling of angst came over me, "Crap! What am I going to wear to the party???"

Stay tuned.

Tic Toc Tic Toc!

I copied this from two bloggers who tried this excercise on their blog. I thought it would be fun to try it out as well!

Five minutes to write out everything we would want to remember about 2010 if we were just about to lose all of your memory. Exciting! So my running watch is set. On your mark, get set... Go!


Realizing that I am stronger than I thought I was.
Long talks with my mom.
Hugs and kisses from my nieces and nephews.
One hot summer night in June that I will cherish always.
Special texts and phone calls.
NOLA trip in January with two crazy sisters!
Learning to forgive myself.
Finding my way back to this Blog.
The "last" kiss
Thanksgiving-eve with the Musketeers
Allowing love to come into my life.
Attending the Andrea Bocelli concert with my mom.
My birthday weekend.
All the Astros games I attended with the Musketeers.
How happy my family and friends make me.

Annnd TIME!

Okay, so I think I did alright. I've certainly had a year filled with a journey of self-discovery that's for sure! I've grown a lot this past year. I didn't let the monster, Depression, keep me down. It may have beat me up a little,(ok, a lot!) but I fought back and showed it who was boss! I'm excited for 2011 and all that it has in store for me!

What about you bloggers?

Here's To You Mrs. Robinson!

It's not so much that I mind getting hit on by younger men or "attracting" younger men. My gripe is with their mentality or lack thereof. I know, I know, "mentality"!! lol I'm just so tired of the games and the bullshit! Truly. Finished. Fed up.

Case in point: Lately, I have been dating nothing but younger men! Not intentionally, not because I prefer it, but merely by coincidence or bad Karma -pick one! lol So upon making contact with me whether it be in person or via internet or phone, they automatically ask one or all of these three questions (in no particular order) 1. Are you wet? 2. When is the last time you had sex? (I guess they are snooping trying to find out how desperate I am) and 3. What's your favorite sexual position? -Just the other night, after a great time out with friends, I drove home and while driving, this guy I have been talking to for a couple of weeks calls me. Nothing unusual about that since we've been chatting quite frequently. We just haven't met yet and now never will. So sure enough, five minutes into the conversation he springs the three aforementioned questions at me. Not missing a beat! He proceeds to ask me over to his place to "watch a movie"....uh after declining his oh most inviting invitation I hang up and begin hyperventilating. -Ok, not really. But I'm dramatic like that.
What a disappointment! This guy was 10 years younger than me but seemingly mature. -Ha, joke's on me! I guess what makes me so mad is the fact that I am not looking for a one night stand or a "quick fix" (somebody actually told me that) or am not desperate enough to screw the first guy that comes into my life just for the sake of screwing!!! (I may have to re-think this though because it's been a LONG.TIME. and well, times are rough!) And when I decline their "oh so" inviting invitation, THEY are indignant! I am the tease!! I am the prude, I am the one with the problem!

And they always, always bring up my age. The guy from last night told me "I thought women your age were nymphos because your sex drive is always running"...WTF? Seriously?? Ugh!!! I'm not saying only younger men do this. Because come on ALL men do it. It's just that with me, it seems to be the norm these days that younger men seek me out.

I clearly tell them what I want, what I'm looking for and what I won't put up with. And yet, they keep seeking me out!!! Oh and they all say the same thing, "I'm not looking for "just sex" or my personal favorite "I don't play games..." Riiiiight!

I do love that I attract younger men though! It does wonders for the ego(ever aging that it is!) and I like the fact that when meeting me for the first time they thnk I'm younger than what I actually am. But that’s usually as far as it goes because their "instrument" between their legs takes on a mind of its own and well, we all know what happens then! My friends call me "Mrs. Robinson" in jest. Though I think some of them are secretly jealous! *she writes laughing hysterically!*

Ah well, what are you going to do? As irritating, obnoxious, exasperating as they are, they are or can also be the most wonderful, exhilarating, sexiest creatures in the world. So for every loser that I have encountered, there’s a winner waiting in the wings for me. I just know it!

Rebel Monday

I've been at the office approximately five hours now. It's a little after the noon hour and I'm about to go postal on my boss. The back of my neck is all tensed up and I have a serious headache! Ahhh, nothing like good ol'stress and an over-bearing, insensitive, prima-donna boss to get me going on a Monday morning! I finally had to walk away from my desk and decided to take a walk outside. It's unusually freezing in Houston right now (such a tease, it will be back to mid 70s by tomorrow morning!)so the brisk, cold air will do me good. I walked down the block and around the building before finally returning into the building to defrost! As I stepped into to the elevator, I let out a deep sigh. The walk was just what I needed to regroup and rid myself of the negativity and the chaos of the morning. While taking my walk, I asked myself the following questions:

Will the work still be there when I get back? Yes
Will my boss ever be happy and satisfied? No
Will I let him ruin my mood and take away my happy place? Hell to the no!

Uh,uh, I'm reclaiming my day and my good mood. I will do my best to get the job done -as I always do, but I absolutely refuse to let him or the pests aka clients, suck the "cheerful" out of me. It's Christmas time dammit!

Fa la la la la la la la la!

Reflection

I spent part of my Sunday with two of my favorite people in the whole world! Michelle and Maricela. We met for a celebratory lunch in honor of Maricela who just graduated from nursing school. And so, we lunched at an Italian restaurant that was "lick your plate" delicious! As we sat at the table laughing about the shennanigans from the previous night, I marveled at how much I love these girls and how much their friendship means to me. We've come a long way from when we first met. And we've had our bumpy roads but we managed to ride through those bumps along the way. We don't always agree with each other and at times, we've disappointed one another, but we forgive and move on and we have each other's back. Between laughter and eating and more laughter, I thanked God for bringing them into my life.

Christmas Parties Tour 2010

With the Christmas season comes a slew of parties and happy hours and parties and more happy hours! So, after recuperating all day today from last night's seasonal festivities, I'm getting ready to start dolling up for tonight's party and more flirting and more mistletoe and more...! All this celebrating is tons of fun but can get tiring really fast! Or maybe, I'm just showing my age? Hmm, nah, it's nothing a quick disco nap and some Advil won't cure! And so, I'm off to take a shower. Now the big question of the night is "What am I going to wear???" Ugh!!! Decisions, decisions!

I hope all you are enjoying this holiday season as much as I am! A more substantive post will be forthcoming kids, don't worry.

Cheers!

BRAVA!

Last night I took my mom to the much anticipated concert of Andrea Bocelli. It was an early Christmas present to her from me. The concert was held at the Toyota Center in downtown Houston. It was a magical night and one I will hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life! I'm not just talking about the concert itself, although it was outstanding! (I'll get to that later) No, what I'm referring to being so amazing is that for a few hours at least, my mom forgot all of her troubles, and her pain, and she relaxed. We laughed, and enjoyed ourselves. We took our time, there was no need to rush. We had fun! We even had post-concert libations at a nearby lounge! lol

The concert itself was so good I can't even put it into words. Really. Bocelli (or "Celli" as some of the thousands of fans yelled out to him)was accompanied by the Houston Symphony. WOW. If anyone has ever seen him perform before, then you have to know what I mean when I say, that he took you from joy to pain to tears all in a fraction of minutes. During the concert I would look over at my mom and she was far away, entranced with the music and his voice and the atmosphere. That look on her face, made my heart smile.

Moody Much?

Accomplished. I thought a lot about that word today and what it means. The dictionary (yes, I still use that book with a lot of words and defitions in it and yes, I know I can just as easily look it up online. Color me pre-historic!)says that Accomplished means a. proficient as the result of practice or training ; also : skillfully done or produced b : having many social accomplishments
2: established beyond doubt or dispute . Hmmm, "established beyond doubt or dispute" that struck a chord with me. Before I go on, I must tell you that the whole reason I even started thinking about this was because my friend Maricela took her last final in nursing school today. She graduates next week! And I am so very proud of her! She's one of the musketeers in my life. (for those not in the "know" please see my post Dolce Vita!) And last week the other musketeer, Michelle, closed on her first home. Both very special moments in thier lives. And, very accomplished. And then there's me. Now, I don't really want this to turn into a "woe is me" post. And forgive me if it comes across as such. It's just I feel inept and inadequate and very not accomplished with myself. I don't want to say I feel like a failure, but sometimes, yeah, I kind of do. I am very blessed to have the love and support of my family and friends. I realize that. Sigh, but I have not done half of what I want to do with my life. And sure, circumstances and bad decisions and fear of ha,ha, failure, has kept me from going as far as I know I can go. In a sense, I've been sabotaging my own chance of success, in my finances, in love, in my career. So when my friends share their good news with me, I'm reminded of the fact that I'm not accomplished. -At least, not in my eyes. I sound like Debbie Downer, I know, I know! I've asked before, but I will do it again, humor me. Why is that we are our own worst critic? Why are we hardest on ourselves? I'm my own punching bag tonight.

Ok, enough! MUST.SHAKE.THE.FUNK.AWAY!!!

Surprise!

I surprised my mom with Andrea Bocelli tickets yesterday. I found out he was coming to Houston a few months ago and thought that it would be a great Christmas gift for her. She absolutley LOVES his music! So for almost a month I've been hiding these tickets and resisting the urge to show them to her. Do you how very hard that is for me? Ugh! I am no good at keeping secrets! (except my own, of course)So anyway, the day of revelation came. Taking advantage of the fact that she was at church that morning, I put the envelope holding the tickets in a shoe box, wrapped it in very festive and Christmas-like paper, stuck a huge bow on it and placed the gift on the dinning room table. When she came home, she found the gift on the table and asked me who it was for. Of course I was beside myself with anticipation and excitement. "It's for you mom. Merry early Christmas!" She looked at me skeptically. "What are you talking about? It's not Christmas yet." Rolling my eyes I replied, "I know it's not Christmas yet, I'm early. Just open it!"

She kept the skeptical look on her face as she studied the gift, and proceeded to gingerly unwrap it, carefully removing the bow first of course!

"Ay mija, you bought me shoes?"

I was grinning from ear to ear as she lifted the lid off the box. She opened the envelope and there they were, two tickets to see Andrea Bocelli. To say that she was elated and surprised would be putting it mildly. She was so touched her eyes became watery. I gave her a big hug and told her I loved her. She chastized me for spending so much money on her. She always does that with my brother and my sister and me. She'll tell us she doesn't need anything or pick the least expensive item because she doesn't want any of us spending our money on her. She'd rather we spend it on ourselves. I love this woman more than my own life! I would do anything to make her happy. The smile on her face, made me feel all warm and fuzzy. And that's the best Christas gift she could ever give me. So Merry early Christmas to me!

The concert is Wednesday evening, I can't wait!

Wistful Sunday Morning Thoughts

Pangs of touching you
caressing your face
laying beside you
kissing you
tug at my heart

No matter what I do
Nothing satisfies the hunger, the cravings, the yearning.

Time is what I need
to forget
to let go
to mourn

And life goes on...

Christmas cards, wine and me -A Saturday Night

My Saturday night was a real wild and crazy night! After spending the day running around I came home and realized I was in no mood to get dressed up and go out with friends. So I begged my apologies and stayed in. This is where it gets good! It started with a much needed bubble bath, candles and some music to relax me. Ahhh, bliss! After the bubble bath, I poured myself a glass of wine and got down to business. As in, the business of writing out my Christmas cards you pervs! What'd you think I meant? Get your mind out of the gutter! Sigh, so where was I? Oh right, the cards. No one sends Christmas cards anymore. Each year I receive less than the year before. The same with letters. No one writes letters anymore. That makes me a little sad. But I digress.
With me, I don't just sign my name and address the envelope, oh no, that's too simple. No I get creative, and each card is sent with a different sentiment. It's not just the generic "Merry Christmas!" And I color with markers or pencils or crayons and even add confetti in them. Yes I'm one of THOSE people! Some of my friends hate it! But they've come to expect it from me, so anytime there's a birthday or a major holiday or special occassion, and you receive a card from me, be prepared to be sprinkled with confetti! For my nieces and nephews I do something different. I draw pictures and write their names in calligraphy or put stickers in them. -Make it special for them when they open their card. Yes I know that some of them can't even read yet, but at least when they're older, they'll know that "aunt Yvonne" sent them something special. So, as I sipped on my third glass of wine, I was feeling great and decided it was time to put on Christmas music. Buh-bye Spyro Gyra, hello Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer! And so my evening went. By the time I finished all of my cards it was midnight. Whew! I'm tired! So now the fun has moved into my room. I'm blogging, sipping wine, and singing carols. Do I know how to party or what? Envy me.

Whimsical Saturday

Saturdays are normally set aside for running errands, maybe some shopping, definitely a visit to the grocery store and lets not forget laundry, you know, "chores" and what not! Normally. Today however, I woke up, sun was shinning, and my inner child refused to cooperate in getting any of the aforementioned done. So, giving in to "the kid", I showered, got dressed and took off. Where I am going is not really as important as just "going". A beautiful Saturday morning merits "top down on the car" music. I pop in my "old-school" music mix cd -what? I love "old school" music! lol First up, Earth Wind & Fire's "September".

What are you doing this beautiful day? Whatever you do, make it funky and fun!
I know I will!

Ciao!

Depression and Me -The Update

A few months ago, I wrote about my struggle with depression. At the time I was going through a very bad episode. Time has since passed, and even though my emotional state is still a rollercoaster, I have my good days and my bad. But at least I have control over them (emotions). And I am continuing my therapy and my meds. One of my fellow bloggers, Israel Carrasco suggested I go the the "natural/herbal" route, which I actually did try! But while he was successful, I was not. Nevertheless, I'm grateful and appreciative for his suggestions.

A few things I've learned while on this Depression and Me world tour:

You can't "cure" depression, but you can manage it.
There IS a tomorrow contrary to what Apollo Creed tells Rocky Balboa.
Some people treat you like a leper once they find out you're "sick".
Friends and family will get tired of your "sickness" and ask you to snap out of it.
Laughter really is the best medicine.
Life is pretty great, even when you've fallen in the "black hole" that is your own personal hell.

I have more, but that will do for now.

Now go out and make someone laugh!