Letter to My Future Love

I wrote this a few years ago for Valentine's Day.  I know February 14th is still weeks away but with so much negativity and hate being spewed these days, I decided to post it again -for old time's sake.  And, to put  the universe on notice that I am ready for love to find me.  Maybe it will work this time.  -Enjoy bloggies :)

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My dearest,

I write to you these words that are in my heart

I would say them aloud to the entire world if you let me 

I never imagined I could be able to love so much

to give so much of myself to someone

and have them love me and give back to me with the same intensity,

the same passion.

You are the man I have been waiting for my entire life

You are the man made just for me

And I,

I am the woman made just for you,

that adores you with every fiber of her being

I am the woman that wants nothing more but to make you happy,

to fill your days with joy and laughter.

I am the woman that wants to spend the rest of her life with you 

going through the good, the bad and the ugly together,

Beloved, I always said that my knight and shining armor was lost and probably never going to find me at this point in my life.   But you know what?  Deep down I knew, I just knew that all of this love I have inside of me to share, was not going to waste away.  And I was right.  We found each other just in time.  At the right time.  

Thank you for giving me so much.  And you know that I am not talking about material things.   Every day with you is an adventure.  Even when we argue.  Every night with you is full of fervor, enticement, desire, lust, love and so much more.  

And for that and that alone, I am yours forever.  

 

           

The More Things Change...

 Last week three different friends lost their mom and dad. Covid being the reason for two of the deaths and the other one I am not sure what happened.  Indeed, it was a very sad and painful start to the week. Two of those friends I've known since grade school and the other friend, I met her through work, over twenty years ago.  I can't even begin to imagine the pain they must be going through.  And even though they are adults, some with children of their own, it still does not diminish their grief.  I pray for their comfort and strength to endure what they will be going through in the coming days and weeks ahead.  And I pray for the souls of Mr. R, Mr. G and Mama Synthia.  One of my biggest fears is losing a parent.  I'm fortunate to still have both with me.  But I worry for them every day.  

I wish I could say that that was the end of tragedy last week but as most everyone knows, it was not.  Last Wednesday, January 6, 2021, the United States Capitol was overtaken by domestic terrorists.  In what has been one of the most disgusting acts of violence against Americans I have been witness to, I had not felt so helpless, sad and enraged since 9/11.  As I watched in horror and disbelief at what was taking place, I feared for our country.  For my country.  How is it that the strongest, most dominant and revered countries in the world, could be reduced to our very own fellow Americans pitting themselves against one another?  What kind of fabled reality were they living in?  

I'm still disgusted.  I am still angry and I'm still sad.  There have been many an argument, many excuses, many lies also, as to what really happened, who was really behind it, etc.  All I know is that I watched with my own eyes, a bunch of despicable, poor excuse of human beings, beat up police officers, each other, destroy property, steal, and ultimately cause the death of 5 people, one that included a police officer that was there doing his job.  These savages had total disregard for law and order.  It makes me sick. I hope and pray with every fiber of my being that they are all caught, thrown in jail and serve time.  

And before anyone throws the "free speech"  argument at me, don't.  This had NOTHING to do with freedom of expression.  This all came down to an outcry because the masses did not like the outcome of an election.  An election that was ruled fair by the Supreme Court.  An election that was legally won.  That's how stuff gets done in America.  At this point, I don't give a rat's ass if people are offended or appalled.  I'm angry dammit.  I'm ashamed.  I'm frightened for not only our country, but the world we live in.  

It was not enough to have this ridiculous virus come into our lives last year.  Oh no.  Now these ingrates want to destroy our country too?  Yeah.  Not on my watch.  I will do everything I can to ensure this does not happen.  And as so many people told me over and over and over again when Donald Trump won in 2016, "Leave this country if you  don't like it"  - I say the same thing to them.  "Get out.  You're not wanted here".

-peace.

January 6, 2021

In my head I had all the words that I wanted to write.  But my heart is just not in it.  Not this time.  Today's events by the domestic terrorists/thugs, made me sick.  Physically sick.  Nothing about what happened was American or patriotic.  Nothing.

America is broken and crying tonight.

-peace.

New Years Eve -The 2020 Version

What a year eh?  What.A.Year.  To say that it's been a rough one is an understatement.  It's been way more than that.  Try Uncertain.  Painful. Frustrated. Bitter. Angry. A nightmare. Unimaginable. Ridiculous. Full of loss and mourning for many, with small fragments of happy moments for others.  The list is infinite.  The feeling of helplessness remains.  

And yet, here we are, on the last day, of the last month, of the year that our lives were abruptly changed and our world became like something out of a chapter in a sci-fi novel.  At least that's how I feel.  Thankfully, I am the eternal optimist and I have faith that even as we all hold our breath and wait with anticipation to exhale the debacle that was 2020 into oblivion, I believe that we will see brighter days again.  That this brand new year will in many ways, help us to heal and move forward and get this damn virus under control.  Not to get all "Good ship lollipop" on you but I am just so ready to have good news, to have uneventful days, to not be restricted and be able to travel and not worry about masks or lockdowns or getting sick.  Aren't you?  I mean, I am putting it out there into the universe.  I'm praying and asking God to deliver us from this madness.  I need to believe that we will be ok.  My soul needs to believe it and expect it.  And so I do.

What are your plans to ring in 2021?  I normally go out on this night, be it to a family member's house or out with friends to a restaurant or to listen to live music.  But this year, I'm leery of going out.  The weather is supposed to suck.  -just 2020's way of twisting the knife one last time.  And I honestly am not in the mood to be out with large crowds or deal with the drunk drivers on the road.  So I will be home,  with champagne and party favors, of course.  And red lipstick.  In my pjs.  -I'm fancy like that.

Our lives were put on hold or were taken too soon.  Our hearts are broken and aching, so tonight, I will raise a glass at midnight and toast to the New Year.  To all of you, I wish a very Happy New Year!  May it be kinder to us, may it bring us good health, prosperity, love and a whole lot of laughter.  

Cheers!

Miss Live Music? I Do Too

 Greetings and Salutations Bloggies!

About a month ago I was asked by my friend, Jesse Sendejas, if I would be interested in participating in an upcoming article he was writing for the Houston Press, an online newspaper that features local news, entertainment and the like.  I didn't hesitate to say yes.  He was going to be writing about concerts -musical acts that we had seen more than once and what kept us going back and of course, how the pandemic put a stop to all concerts.  I was given a set of questions to answer.  The questions took me back to memories of my first concert at the ripe old age of 10 *gasp*  I remembered things that I had not thought about in years and also brought back memories of some crazy things I did back then. (maybe even last year) Most of all, it brought back happier times and that made me smile.  Click on the link.  Maybe it will bring a smile to your face too.

-peace.

ps-Jesse did a bang-up job in this piece.  Bravo to him.

I've Seen (Insert Band Name) 10 Times! | Houston Press

On A Cold December Night -The After Midnight Version

 It's not that I purposely set out to stay up late.  I don't.  I just  get this burst of energy around the same time every night.  It's 12:40 a.m. right now but you couldn't even tell, the way my brain is juggling a million little things all at once. Yes even as I write.  It's quite a party happening in my mind right now. Where was I?  Oh yes.  My weird sleeping habits.  I don't know.  I've tried just about everything I know to lull me to sleep but nothing seems to work.  In the morning, I'll be groggy and kind of bitchy for a little bit, but soon my sunny disposition takes over and I'm fine.  I blame 2020.  Yeah, that's it.  2020.

Oh here's a thing I haven't talked about in a long time.  Dating.  Yeah remember that?  I vaguely recall  it.  Anyway, on Thursday I will be interviewed by a local blogger extraordinaire who also happens to have a podcast about you guessed it, dating.  She will ask me questions about my dating life (when I had one that is) and experiences, things like that.  I'm kind of excited and kind of nervous.  I'm curious about what she'll ask and how I will respond.  Ha.  I'm pretty sure I will embarrass myself.  But that's ok, I'm a master of that sport.  Especially lately.  Eh, but that's story for another time.  So we shall see how it goes.  I've never done this before.  Have any of you?  In all honesty, even though I am a little nervous, I also have this "I don't give fuck" attitude that I adopted this year.  It's all the rage of 2020 don't you know.  So while I do have the jitters, I'm pretty sure I will be just fine.  And if not?  "I don't give fuck"   If anything, a lot of strangers will get a good laugh at my expense.

Since I don't know what her questions will be, I've been going through my dating memory bank trying to recall my dating experiences throughout the years.   So far I have a funny one, a memorable one, a 24 hour one and a horrible one.  I tend to have more of those horrible ones than any other ones saved up in that bank of mine.  I do miss dating though.  Back in January I had decided to start meeting potential suitors again.  But then the pandemic happened and work bombarded me and here we are almost 10 months later.  "But what about dating sites?" you ask.  Just know that I won't ever try the online dating sites again.  Ever.  And that's all I will say about that.  

I'll be sure and let you know how it goes with the podcast.  Oh hell, I'll even post the link so you can hear for yourself.  ;)  You're welcome.

Well, I'm off to see the wizard.  Not really.  Maybe. Who knows?  I've been having weird dreams lately so the wizard might show up.

-peace.

Thanksgiving -the Misfit

Thanksgiving was so weird and awkward this year.  It was the Herme the elf of holidays-at least for me.  (Herme was the elf in Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer that didn't want to be an elf but instead wanted to be a dentist, thus my reference) No local parades or tree lighting ceremonies. No lots of things that we are all used to.  But that just goes with the "norm" that has been 2020 thus far -no normalcy whatsoever.  

I hope all of you enjoyed your holiday as best you could and were able to spend time with your loved ones be it in person or virtual.  

We have been through and are still going through a very challenging and dreadful year haven't we? It's been one hell of a rollercoaster ride that's for sure.  But you know, even through all of the heartache and headache and stress and anxiety and loss, even through all of that, I have learned that we are so much stronger than we know.

 I am so grateful for everything that I have and everyone that is in my life.  I am grateful for all of the lessons I have learned this year, and the ones that I have yet to learn.  The good decisions.  The bad decisions.  All of these things have brought me to my knees at times, but I got back up.  Slowly.  But I got up.  That's what matters.

My family and I remain healthy and employed.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  My elderly parents are battling physical ailments that come with old age and have remained COVID-19 free so far, thank God.  Then again, at their age, mom is 75 and dad is 80, any sickness can become serious.  Nevertheless, I continue to thank God for my blessings and pray that this nightmare will soon end for all of us.

I hope all of you are safe and healthy.  I hope your loved ones are with you still but if they are not, I'm so sorry and pray for your peace and comfort.

You know, I never, ever, EVER, start thinking about Christmas before Thanksgiving but this year, I need Christmas more than ever. I need joy and the child-like spirit that takes over us.  I need to  see things merry and bright -eh, it's late and I've had wine.  So I have been listening to Christmas carols and songs since November.  Seriously.  I even decorated my house and started writing Christmas cards.  Just the other day I watched Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  I am all about Christmas right now and don't intend to slow down anytime soon.  

How about you?  What are you most grateful for?