To My Valentine -Wherever He May Be

You are somewhere in this world
lost and lonely.

I don't know who you are yet
I can't see your face
But I know your heart
and it belongs to me
Just as mine,
belongs to you

You yearn for a woman to help
bring out the best in you,
to laugh with you,
cry with you,
grow with you

You search and search
through dates, relationships and insignificant encounters

Time is not important
Who can  put time restraints on matters of the heart?

And so I wait,
hopeful
for you,
my love.
_____________________________________________

As has become customary for me, I am re-posting this poem I wrote a couple of years ago.  Every Valentine's Day since then, I post it.  Hey, you never know, he just might read it one day! :)

Happy Valentine's Day bloggies! Wishing you love and kisses and flowers and sweet nothings.  And chocolate.  Lots of chocolate, of course.

love hurts

sometimes, i cry out loud
the pain is so intense 

no matter what i do
no matter how much 
i try, it's never enough

you are exhausting
you drain my emotions
i am left spent

you take 
and you take
and leave me empty

loving you is easy
it's what happens after 
that causes my angst

you are oblivious 
clueless of the consequences
that your selfishness causes

your words 
your actions
your indifference
cut deeper
than any knife ever could

and yet 
i love you
all of you

how much longer?

Circle of Life - It's Inevitable

My 91 year old year old grandmother passed away earlier this afternoon. (It's technically already Monday, but she passed away on Sunday) Suddenly, everything else happening in the world, really didn't seem as important anymore.  My grandma was an amazing woman.  She lived a long and fruitful life. She came to the United States from Nicaragua when she was very young.  Not long after, she met and married my grandfather and they raised 5 children.  One of them, my dad.  My grandma was a spitfire.  She was always laughing and loved to dance and sing.  She sang loud and proud and didn't care who heard her or who didn't want to hear her.  She sang.  She also loved wearing flowers in her hair, or tucked behind her ear.  It didn't matter the season, or the occasion, if she saw a flower, it was highly likely that she was going gt wear it. She also loved wearing bright red lipstick.  I think I inherited that trait.  She also never met a stranger and was the life of the party. Always.  She loved me.  I was her first grandchild, how could she not? Although her death was not unexpected, as she had been in a hospice for over a month now, it still jolted all of us.  My dad is taking it the hardest.  I'm mostly worried about him.  She was his everything.  He was a mama's boy.  Even now, at his 74 years of age.  I am very sad, but I haven't cried.  At Sunday mass this evening, as I was praying for her soul, I started to cry but made myself stop, because if I didn't, the dam would break and I wouldn't be able to control them.  I haven't shed a tear since.

Not really the way I was going to spend my Sunday.  But then, since when does life let you plan anything?

Heaven gained another angel today.  La quiero mucho abuelita, que en paz descanse.

Maria Mercado aka "Abue" short for Abuela

Peace.

Houston: Hunker down!

During the highly anticipated and destructive storm that was Hurricane Ike in 2008, one of the city's elected officials was on the news around the clock.  On the last update before the storm actually hit, he uttered the words, "Hunker down!" and so, it seems fitting that tonight, in anticipation of a storm of a different kind, I utter the same words: "Houston: Hunker down!"  Oh it's serious, folks.  My normal 15 minute trek in the grocery store this evening told me how serious it really is.  It took me an hour standing in line to pay for milk.  Yes.  Milk.  That's it.  That's all I was buying.  Meanwhile, there was chaos all around me.  People dashing in loading up their carts with anything that wasn't tied down.  The entire city is on lockdown until further notice.  I mean, did I miss something? Was the second coming of Christ announced?  It doesn't take much for people to panic, that's for sure.  I suppose I shouldn't be so dismissive about the pending winter blast that is forecast for Tuesday morning.  And I'm not.  But to go all crazy buying every single case of water and who knows what else.  Well, that to me just seems extreme.  But that's us.  We do things big down here in Texas.  Oh come on, stop making fun of us.  You all know darned well that we are lost when it comes to freezing weather.  We buckle down and cry uncle when that happens.  Hurricanes? No problem.  Tornadoes? We got it.  Flooding? Bring it.  But snow and ice and precipation?  Uh, yeah we turn into frightened and hysterical souls.  The forecast for tomorrow is sleet, ice and possible snow.   Those are words that are never heard here, and yet this is the second time in in less than a week that they are mentioned.  Yay us.  The kids are delirious  for a second snow day in less than three days.  I still haven't gotten the word that we are closing the office tomorrow.  One can only hope.  Stay tuned kids, it's about to get crazy.  Oh and for all of my friends up East, laugh all you want, but come Summer time and you are melting due to the heat, guess who will laugh the loudest?  :)

In other news,  have any of you ever been bitten by a dog?  I have.  Sunday afternoon I was at the office with pretty much all of my team.  We were working on a project that was due on Monday.  Anyway, my boss took her doggie named Sofie, to work.  Now Sofie is a small, pudgy, adorable little Bulldog.  Cutest thing ever!  Sofie had been to the office before and was friendly and playful with all of us.  Well for whatever reason, she decided to lunge at me yesterday.  I instinctively put my hands over my face.  She got a hold of two of my fingers and bit the hell out of them in the process.  I have a high threshold for pain.  Or I  did until yesterday.  That cutest thing ever bit me so hard I cried out in pain.  What happened next is still kind of murkish for me. I know that my boss grabbed Sofie and there was yelling involved (or maybe it was my screaming) and one of my coworkers led me to the kitchen sink where  she proceeded to wash my hand out and then drove me to the nearest Urgent Care to have it looked at.  I really didn't think that was necessary, my boss assured me that Sofie had all her shots and they were up to date.  But still, everyone insisted, so I went.  I remember this and I remember the pain distinctly.  I've never felt anything like it before.  I'm a dog lover.  My siblings and I always had pets growing up.  But none of them ever bit us before.  Ugh.  I felt bad for Sofie and I felt bad for my boss because she was beside herself with worry for me.  In the end, I have big ol ugly teeth marks, broken skin, a little bruising and swelling and slight discomfort.  The scars will heal and the pain is almost forgotten.  Almost.  Sofie is not welcome at the office anynore and that sucks a little.

Oh well, tune in tomorrow for Snow day in Houston: The Aftermath.

Meet Sofie

Something Sweet

I was about a block away from my house when my phone rang.  I put the blue tooth in my ear and answered, it was my mom.  She wanted to know where I was and if I could bring her back something sweet.  I reminded her that there was nothing sweeter than me in her life.  She told me to quit being a smart-ass.  I don't know why she thought I was being a smart-ass.  Heh.  Something sweet.  In my mom's language that only meant one thing and that was, pan de dulce which literally means, sweet bread.  Pan de dulce for those not in the know, is tradionally a Mexican pastry, although, other Latin American countries also share the love for it.  Pan de dulce originated in Europe but quickly became the staple in the Mexican culture and in my house.  There were many a Sunday mornings that my brothers and sister and I, would sit down for breakfast and among the dishes at the center of the table, was a plate full of various pan de dulce.  Not to mention, pan con chocolate.  (sweet bread with hot chocolate) Oh my god.  Now that is heaven! A meloncholic smile came over my face, as I made a quick u-turn and made my way to the neighborhood bakery.  This was difficult for me to do because in my ongoing quest and new year resolution to drop the extra poundage, I gave up bread for the month of January, just to see how much I could lose and how strong my willpower is.  Oh pan (bread)  my one and only true love.  I'm on day 19 and while I have not physically harmed anyone yet, I have been quite a handful to my family and friends. (read: bitch)  You see why going to buy "something sweet" for my mother dear was torture for me?  Exactly.  But I digress.  Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that it would be just like Christmas season-busy on a Sunday evening.  But it was.  The parking lot was beyond full.  Was there a sudden shortage of sweet-bread descending on Houston or what?  And if so, why didn't I get the memo?  I mean it was crazy packed.  I almost turned the car around and left but  I didn't.  I knew my mom really wanted something sweet or she wouldn't have asked.  She never asks for anything.  So I parked (after circling for hours a few minutes) and braved the madness inside.  Now, I don't know if any of you dear bloggies, have  ever been to a panaderia (bakery) before, but I assure you, you've not been to any one that even resembles the one I go went to.  First of all, it was just as much of a madhouse inside as it was outside.  The cashiers are all in the middle of the store, the sweetbread surrounds them in glass cases that you can go and get yourself.  There are plastic silver platters and tongs at your disposal. I grabbed one such platter and tong and proceeded to the case that contained some of my mom's favorites.  On my walk over, I'm almost caught in what can only be described as a Mexican mosh pit.  Can you imagine the headlines?  "Woman flung in the air at local bakery! News at 11!"  Seriously, these people meant business.  I shimmied (true story) my way to nirvana the stupid case, put a few on my platter and continued on.  By the time I'd chosen all of my mom's faves, I was quite irritated and regretting my choice to come to this particular bakery.  Whatever. I proceed to get in the long line (It wrapped around the counter)  Errbody wanted sweet bread it seemed.  Kids running around, babies crying, ranchera music in the background... Quite the party going on, indeed.  Finally, after handing over my money to the nice lady, I walked out and into the safe confines of my car.  Whew!  That was close!

Happy Sunday kids!  It was an amazingly beautiful day here in Houston.  I hope it was for you too, in your little corner of the world.  Have a great week, you know the drill, make it happen.

Peace.

ps- here are a few pics of the sweetness that is bread.  Damn you diet!!!!

COURTESY OF AN OLD FRIEND -INSOMNIA...

if you were me...

your heart would be full
so full that you were afraid 
it was  going to spill over

you'd know how much 
i love you

you'd know my heart
is yours and no one else's

you'd make sure i never hurt
but if i did
you'd do everything you could
to make it stop

time apart from each other
would seem an eternity

you would never 
take my love for granted

today and tomorrow
would always include us

you'd wear a smile on your face
all the time

but you're not me
and life is never this perfect
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Sunday, kids.

Whenever I can't sleep, I either grab a book or start writing.  Tonight I chose to play with words in my head and this is what resulted.  Ironically, my eyes are now getting heavy.  My own prose put me to sleep. :)

You know the drill, new week upon us, make it count.  I will.

Ciao.

Back to the Basics

See me for who I am
Look at me, not through me
Love me, don't use me

I am the one who cries for you
worries for you

I am your friend,
lover
conscience

I am not an after-thought
your second choice
or consolation prize

I am the best thing that ever happened to you
but you don't see that

I would give you the stars and the moon
if you asked me to

Kiss me
caress me
devour me

Not because I fill a temporary need
but because permanent is all you think about
when you think of me

See me
only me
the one that loves you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Greetings and salutations bloggies!  So how is everyone, post holiday frenzy?  I hope Santa and Baby New Year were good to you.  Personally, I'm going to have to fire Santa.  The man in the red suit keeps forgetting my stuff and I was an exceptionally good girl last year.  

So already 2014 is off to a great start.  Got a raise at work, am in the process finally putting together a book of all of my short short stories and  I've  decided that this year I will travel more.  I already started the ball rolling by purchasing my tickets to Spain and a cruise in the summer.  Mostly, I will make myself happy no matter what happens this year. Life is too short to be anything else.

 I'd say that's a pretty good start don't you think?

In other news, it's freezing in Houston.  No really.  It is.  Tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest, it may only reach 19 degrees, if the skies clear up tonight.  Crazy isn't it?  But not to worry, our weather here in the city will be back it's normal bipolar self by Wednesday.  

Enough about me? What's going on in your world?

It's Monday bloggies, you know the drill, make it count.

ps- oh yeah, that poem i wrote up there.  what'd you think?  it's not new, and definitely not my best.  i just tweaked it a bit.  i'll also be working a lot more on my poetry this year.  i want to publish a book of poems.  :)