malbec, memories and me

your silence speaks volumes

loudly

clearly

piercingly

the words you didn't speak

inflicted it's pain already

no words uttered

yet i heard you 

loud and clear

there is no reason for me to stay

i leave behind only my heart

everything else is already dead

_______________________________________________

Sometimes, the most painful thing you can say, is nothing at all.  I consider myself to be a very passionate person.  In my personal life, in my career, in causes that I believe in.  Perhaps that is why I have dedicated over twenty years to working on the plaintiff side of the law.  Always advocating for the underdog, for the victim, for the injustice.  The same goes for my heart.  I love with all of my being. I know no other way.  I trust in the same manner.  This has caused me to hurt indescribable pain.  But it has also given me immense happiness.  The thing is, sometimes you just get tired of being the doormat. So you break free.  And it feels good to be free of him people that just want to suck you dry.  And you keep moving forward because really, that's all you can do.

______________________________________________

Don't mind me bloggies. This very intense jibber jabber was brought to you courtesy of  a few glasses of Malbec and lots of memories.  Ah, nostalgia, the holidays, liquor and bad poetry.  Good times.

Come back soon, I'll be sober (ish) and in a better mood.  In the meantime, I want to hear all about everyone's Thanksgiving.  Ready? Set? Go!

Online Dating Don'ts for Dummies (and by dummies, I mean men)

I have a confession to make.  A few years ago, I was really into the online dating thing.  I joined a few different sites and proceeded to interact with potential victims dates on the regular.  No one coached me or took me under their wing when  I did this.  So I was basically treading uncharted waters with a blindfold over my eyes.  But I'm a quick learner and picked up on the online dating protocol (so to speak) fairly quickly.  So I feel it is my duty as a fellow single person to help you eligible bachelors see the error of your ways.

Ready? Let's do this.  Alright, here we go:

1.  Do not take a selfie of yourself in the bathroom while staring at the mirror. It's creepy and makes us think that you have no friends to take your picture.  This leads to us thinking you have poor social skills.

2.  If you HAVE to take a selfie of yourself and you feel you HAVE to pose in front of the bathroom mirror, for the love of god, please put a shirt on.  Your ape looking chest is not an attractive trait, contrary to what you may think.

3.  When filling out your essay, take the time to proof what you wrote and try to remember to take the caps lock off so that every word you typed DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THIS.

4.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask a woman on a dating site, "So do you wanna fuck?" in your initial message (or subsequent messages for that matter) to her.  I mean, there are sites specifically catered to lines like, "So do you wanna fuck?" Go there.

5.  Do not ask for our work number and/or address if you've just started corresponding.  And do not insist on asking us for our work number and/or address.  This only makes you look like a potential stalker.

6.  Do not make one of your goals in life to find your "sole mate" - We'll just think you have a foot fetish and tell you they are dating sites for that sort of thing.

7.  If you are on a dating site, it's safe to assume that you actually want to date.  So please, do not start communicating with a woman only to tell her right before a date, "I am still in love with my ex, I'm hoping you will help me REBOUND " ---true story.

8.  Please DO NOT send us random pictures of your penis.  Contrary to your very delusional mind, we do not get turned on by this.  It's NOT cute. Really, it's just not.  And this will not make us want to date you more, trust me.  And again, they have sites designed just for that sort of thing.  Go there instead.

9.  Some of us take quite a bit of time and effort into writing our essays and creating our profiles.  So would it be so much to ask for you to actually read what we wrote and/or our criteria.  Why would I want to date a 19 year old?  Seriously?  My age range is specific to OVER 21 ---get real.

10.  I saved the best for last.  I recently decided to jump in and start dating again.  Or at the very least, get my feet wet. Well, I met someone.  Nice guy. (seemingly), we hit off in emails and exchanged cell numbers fairly quickly.  This guy was a professional texter.  He LOVED to text.  I prefer phone calls.  Anyway we talked almost daily for about a week and a half. During which time he asked for my work address and phone number.  The address was because he wanted to send me flowers (uh-huh) and the phone number was so that he could call me throughout the day.  (He had my cell number already)  So this guy gets annoyed when I don't give him my work number or my address.  It scared me.  He then proceeds to blow up my phone with texts every half hour or so.

9:00 a.m. "Hi sweetie, hope you're having a good day" 
9:30 a.m. "Thinking about you..."
10:00 a.m. "Uh, why haven't you replied?"
10:30 a.m. "Ok I guess you're busy, call me when you can"
11:00 a.m.  "Babe? Why are you ignoring me"

That's not a joke.  It happened. I finally called him when I went to lunch and told him to lose my number and never call me again. He told me I was being irrational.  I told him I didn't care what he thought.  And that's the last I heard of  him.  And? The whole "baby" thing? I use terms of endearment all the time. If I'm dating someone, I use them quite often.  But NOT if  I've never met you.  I don't like that, I'm not sure about other women, but that just annoys me.  So fellas, don't be so possessive or controlling. If you are, you seriously need work those issues out before trying to date someone.

So there you have it.  Take it for what it's worth.  I realize women have their own "Don'ts" out there. I'm more than certain that a few of you guys are going to point them out to me. And that's fair, but this post was specifically meant to my male audience, thanks to Number 10.  -You're welcome.  :)

And that folks, was my Monday (now Tuesday) rambling.  And for those that have been texting and/or emailing me about the Texans loss on Sunday, I don't want to talk about it.  Mmmkay???

Be good.

the thrill of victory -the agony of defeat

happy november, fellow bloggies!  can you believe we'll be talking turkey in a couple of weeks???  me either.  so what's going on kids?  share with me.

so, let's talk football shall we?  last night in what began as an exciting and promising game for my houston texans, quickly morphed into a freakish nightmare.  up 21-3 at half-time, fans all over my fair city were high-fiving, yelling in excitement and just relishing in a great, great first half.  it's been a while since we've been able to do that this season.  but all of that joy and jubilation quickly turned into worry, despair, and ultimately, defeat.  as some of you may have heard on the news or read in the paper or whatever other social media outlet you use, texans head coach, gary kubiak collapsed as he was walking off the field yesterday, at half-time.  melee quickly ensued as players, coaches, medical personnel all scrambled around trying to get him help.  when the dust cleared, coach kubiak was carried off the field on a stretcher, and rushed to a local hospital.  as of today, there are reports that he suffered a mini-stroke but nothing has been confirmed yet and he remains in the hospital for observation.  so we'll just keep praying hope for the best.  meantime, imagine being a player and watching your leader crumble like that, right before your eyes.  i'm sure, no i'm certain, that that kind of sucked the life out of a few if not all of the players. so much so, that when the texans returned to the field after half-time, well, let's just say it was like we were in the twilight zone.  the players looked the same, but acted oh so different.  and things just went straight to hell after that.  final score:  texans 24 -colts 27.  and i'm not even going to mention how a certain kicker whose only job, ONLY job is to kick the ball and make a field goal,  totally blew it, again.  no, i'm not going to mention him at all.

whoever cursed all of houston's professional sports teams, we give up.  you win.  we're waving the white flag. now take the damned curse off,  would ya please???  seriously.  fans (myself included) are growing weary and frustrated and pissed.  of course that doesn't mean i'm not rooting for them anymore.  are you kidding me? this ain't no fair weathered fan.  besides, i was an oilers fan since i was 9 years old, and a texans fan since 2002.  i am huge astros fan for crying out loud! if that's not a true fan, i don't  know what is.

meh.  you win some, you lose some.  right? right.

after i got home from the game, i was still at a loss for words (i know, i can't believe it either) and just too riled up to go to sleep. so i started surfing the internet for nothing in particular, when i came across this little number:

this was taken from a old seventies sitcom called "good times".  in this picture, the woman plays character, florida evans, who is reacting to some bad news she has just received. in despair, she throws a plate on the floor, shattering it into a  million pieces and cries out, "Damn! Damn! Damn!"  i bet a lot of houstonians uttered the same words last night, as well.

enough.

so, time change. hate it.  saturday night, part of the united states gained an hour of sleep for the next few months or so.  that's right, it's that time of year when the days are shorter and the nights are longer.  it gets dark outside earlier each day.  i.hate.it.  i love my sunshine!  plus? this time change messes with my internal clock.  i've been confused about the time since sunday morning. what time is it really?

alright kids,  i need my beauty sleep. NOT.A.WORD.

new month, new possibilities, make it happen friends, make it happen.

ciao.

"I'm getting married in two years!"

this according to a medium/psychic that i had the pleasure of meeting at a halloween party i attended last weekend.  the party i'm referring to is the roaring twenties one i told you about a few posts ago.  it was held at my friends' home on a unseasonably (for houston) chilly night.  the theme was as i stated, roaring twenties. the house was decked out to be be a speakeasy, we even had to go  through a dark alley and give the door guy a password to gain entrance.  once inside, it was like walking into another era.  everything in that house from the guests in amazing costumes, to the music,  (think jazz, broadway, ragtime) to the decorations, definitely transported you to that prohibition era.  there were flappers (myself included), and gangsters (i saw a few al capones and jimmy hoffas) to cigar girls and even a few policemen.  it was indeed, a great party.

the hosts, old school friends of mine, hired a medium for the party.  this was no ordinary medium either.  she is highly regarded in the "psychic" industry and has a radio show as well.  guests were invited to get their fortune told or to speak to someone that was no longer living.  now, i've always been a skeptic about these sorts of things.  plus, the guilt from my very catholic upbringing is enough to keep any of that superstitious mumbo-jumbo out of my life.  however, on this night, i threw caution to the wind and experienced my first ever psychic reading.

Psychic:  "Hello! Nice to meet you..." (shakes my hand and offers me a seat)

Me:  "Hi!  Nice to meet you as well."

Psychic:  Blah, blah, blah (disclosure about readings)

Me:  Eyes start to glaze over...

Psychic:  "Now that that is out of the way, how can I help you? Do you have any questions you want to ask me? I'm yours for the next fifteen minutes"  she says as she starts the time clock.

And so it began.  For the next fifteen minutes this woman literally blew me away.  I sat in a chair, across the table, facing her.  She had a sheet of paper in front of her and held a pencil.  Ever so often she'd look at me and scribble back and forth.  The only information I gave her was my name and my age.  I asked her superficial questions.

"What of love for me"

"Tell me about my future as a writer"

"Talk to me about my family"

Each answer she gave me, sent chills down my spine. Seriously.  This woman who I'd never met before, told me things that she could not possibly have known.  And they weren't mundane things.  They were rather specific, down to the date and sometimes hour.  But what really just cracked me up (I laughed on the inside) was when she talked to me about love.  She told me that I had not yet met the man of my dreams.  -Um, hello?  I know that! She said that he was on his way, but I had to be patient.  And?  He drives a blue vehicle. She was not sure if it was a truck (gross!) or a SUV type of car.  Also, she said that he was very particular about his shoes.  He either took great care of them or wore boots.  She told me other things about this alleged person but this is what most stuck with me.  So now, any guy I ever go out with again, if he's driving a blue vehicle, you know I'm going to start planning a wedding! muahahahaha!

there you have it.  In two years, I'm going to meet this man and we're going to get married.  And all of you are invited.  See? My dating woes are ovah!  My mom will be ecstatic! :)

Alright kids, have any of you ever gone to a psychic? Had your palms read? Anyone?  Did you do it for fun (like me) or do you take this type of thing seriously?  I'm curious to know what you have to say about this, if anything.

Mark your calendars and save the date.

Ok now that that is out of the way.  What's up kids?  Who else has gone to Halloween parties?  I just went to another one this past Saturday, which is why I was like a zombie all day today.  Good times, good times...What else is going on in your  corner of the world?  Share with me...

I'm a little sad, my favorite month of the year is almost over.  :(

Alright, I need to go take a little 5 hour nap or I will be a zombie again tomorrow and my boss would not like that. heh.

You know the drill, it's a new week, make it count.

Come on, you knew I was going to post a picture!  Be gentle.

breaking up is hard to do -so is forgetting...

this break-up business is for the birds.  seriously.  i'm so ready to be over it and yet, here i am, writing about not being able to be over it.  this blows.  and not in a good way.  while it's gotten a little bit easier, and by that i mean, i'm not crying every five minutes, it's still difficult for my heart to assimilate what my head already has.  i have good days and bad days and then days that just need not to be spoken of, ever again.  i've gone through my "i'm gonna drink myself into oblivion" phase, my anger phase, my feeling sorry for myself phase and now, i'm in the "miss him so much i can't stand myself" phase.  yeah. that's where i am right now.  oh i've been keeping myself busy.  doing all the right things one does when trying to get over someone.  and it helps, it really does, to have a support system readily available to you.  my support crew is awesome.  but even with that, when you're alone, winding down after a long day, with only yourself to keep you company, that's when it gets a little crazy.  a lot of times i just want to shut off  this mind of mine.  just tell it to stop playing scenes over and over in my head. but it doesn't listen, dammit.  it just doesn't listen.  meh.  i know it's going to get better. and i will be better.  eventually.

funny thing about breaking up with someone, all of a sudden, everyone's got a friend that they would just LOVE you to meet.  i love them for trying but please, give me some space and lots and lots of time.  the last thing i need right now is to jump into another relationship.  still, i can guarantee that my friends will not stop trying.  especially now, since the holidays are almost upon us.  i'm thinking of starting my own order of nuns.  what do you think?  i know my stuff. i'm catholic, went to catholic school for twelve years.  know the nuns' habits (see what i did there?)  and am sure i can recruit at least five other women like me.  heh.  think it'll fly?  yeah, me either.

alright, that's my cue to go night night.  tomorrow is another day.  make it count bloggies.  and if you're still reading, you're awesome.  thanks for the support.

come back in a few days.  we'll catch up, sing kumbaya and hug.  kidding.  no really, i'm kidding.

is it friday yet???

words and music -spot-lighting local talent

every once in a while i read an article or a short story that leaves me with warm fuzzies inside.  last week sometime, i read just that.  a friend of mine (actually we just met but still, friend nonetheless) who happens to write for a local weekly paper, wrote an article having to do with his children who happen to be musicians. apparently, some very closed-minded individual made a few quirps to my friend about the legitimacy of his kids' career choices.  basically the bafoon was saying that being a musician was not a "real" job.  or something along those lines.  like any good parent whose baby-cubs have just been insulted or portrayed badly would do, my friend kicked his ass  got back at him by doing what he knows best, being the bigger person and airing his ires in print.  he wrote the article here:

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/rocks/2013/10/its_a_living_yes_my_musician_s.php

the whole gist of the article was geared yes to give that chump a lesson in individualism and following your dreams in this very short life of ours, but also to bring to light the fact that so many of us (myself included) get sucked into a "job" and fall into the abyss of that job.  let me tell you something, getting out of that abyss is torture and some people never find their way out.  so what happens? they let their soul rot and their dreams die.  which is why doing what you love, what makes you happy -hell that could mean being a dog sitter or a bus driver or even a writer -whatever it is, as long as you are happy with you life and what you do for a living, then that's all that really matters.  the other stuff is just fluff.  anyway, that's what i got out of jesse's article.

i love live music. i support it here in houston, every chance i get.  i have quite a few friends who are musicians in various musical genres.  some are local, some work for famous people and some just like to jam every now and again.  it's all good. i will gladly lend my hand whenever possible.  so it was a no-brainer when after reading jesse's article, that i decided to bring these kids' music to the spotlight -or my blog, which to me, IS a spotlight.

meet marissa and jesse sendejas, jr.  a brother and sister duo from houston, texas (no, not like the other brother/sister duo aka donny and marie) who both respectively have their own music agenda. jesse plays in a band called days n daze.  his sister marissa, is a budding solo artist who also from sings with days n daze.  their music may not be everyone's cup of latte and that's okay.  it's not mine either, but i wanted to blog about them because they  really are very  talented and  hard-working kids. and i respect that. they write their own music, play all their instruments and pound the pavement, knocking on doors, asking for a shot at showcasing their talents.  i have not seen them perform, but i am sure i will sometime.  i've listened to a few of their songs and best i can describe their music is folk with a twist.  some soft intros, strong and reverberating finishes.  i know this description is not giving their music justice.  my apologies sent in advance. so why don't you just check them out for yourself

here:  http://www.marissasendejas.com/

here: http://www.reverbnation.com/marissas

and here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6v4r7wnB7s

i'm especially looking at you -my h-town bloggies. show some love.  but of course, everyone else is welcome to check them out as well.  after all, sharing is caring, friends.  sharing is caring.

thanks for dropping by. do me a favor, do what makes you feel alive.  and if you don't know what that is yet, keep trying until you do.

-peace.

dear sleep, i'm sorry. please come back.

howdy kids.  it seems i have a bout of insomnia therefore, tomorrow morning is going to suck.  so is the afternoon.  and the drive home.  i'm already dreaming of coming home from work and my bed.  but enough of me getting ahead of myself.  how was everyone's weekend? share with me.

my weekend? well my weekend was kind of fabulous actually.  it started on thursday and ended a few hours ago.  i am a year older now.  yeah, the birthday fairy came knocking on my door a few days ago.  to commemorate this most auspicious occasion, i had myself a little happy hour (or hours, same difference) at one of my favorite spots in the h.  tons of friends came by and wished me well, raised a few glasses with me and some even danced with me.  i partied like a rock star that night and the next morning, i paid for it dearly.  did i mention i had to work the next day? yeah.  i not only looked like a zombie but felt like one as well.  no worries though, i had a blast and regret nothing.  friday and saturday were crazy fun.  yvonne's birthday palooza was in full effect until about four hours ago.  i love my life.  as much as i bitch about it sometimes, i am very blessed, fortunate and very grateful for everything that i have.  even the bad stuff.  because of course, that only makes me stronger.  and i'm strong, like bull.  heh.

do you ever have people tell you things because they are "looking out for your best interest"?  but in reality, it's really because they are being nosy and want to meddle in your life.  i have a few of those pesky individuals.  in fact, very recently, i was told that i "party" too much.  that i "go out every day of the week" -pfft! as if that's even possible for me anymore.  when i was in college and my early thirties, no doubt!  but now?  puh-lease.  my little yvonne-palooza is going to take the whole month of october for me to recuperate. :)   seriously though, what is it with these people?  i always feel as if i have to justify my actions. which  really makes no sense because i don't even give my own father justifications.  case in point. i have a facebook account.  who doesn't, right?  i post stuff on there randomly.  pictures, whatever.  i go out sometimes, i post where i am.  i take pictures? i post them.  what happens when i do this?  i get emails or texts from these so called "interested parties", telling me that i'm such a party animal or that i need to slow down.  slow down from what exactly?  i have no one to report back to.  i have no kids.  i have no pets.  what is their problem exactly? jealous much?  bleh.  i don't even know why i'm writing about this.  maybe because i'm super tired and i want to go to sleep but sleep escapes me.

in other news, the boy and i are no longer dating.  it wasn't a pretty ending.  and it was very painful.  but life goes on.  and that's all i'm saying about that.

moving on.

i found my halloween costumes.  come on, you knew i would.  i'm going to be a cigarette girl for the roaring twenties themed party i'm attending and thelma evans for the seventies themed party i am also attending.  for you youngsters not in the know and for everyone else who is clueless.  thelma evans was a television character for a sitcom called "good times".  it aired back in the early seventies.  yes, the seventies.  it was about a poor family, trying to make a buck and keep from being evicted.  but mostly, it was about family sticking together.  i used to love that show. it was quite entertaining.  anyway, thelma went through various stages with her hair.  i'm going the be the thelma that wore her hair in an afro.  can't wait for pics, right?

all in all, i had a blasty blast weekend.  except for the texans loss.  that game was torture to watch.  i love you guys but yerkillingme!!!

well kids, i better go take a little 5 hour nap or i'm going to be worthless at work tomorrow.

thanks for indulging me. you're the best.

have a great week!