A friend of mine of the male persuasion suggested to me that while I am social, I may be giving off the "I don't want to date" vibe, thus turning men away without even knowing that I'm turning men away. That last sentence I think is true. If I really think about it and play out the last few times I have been out, the way I carried myself with people -men specifically, I can honestly say that I could indeed have been sabotaging myself. I suppose I'm scared. Scared of dipping my toes into that pool of uncertainty and heart-break. I've been in it many times before and the outcome hasn't always been a happy one.
Huh. Who knew one of my guy friends would result in a pseudo therapist? He told me this first consult was free but that the next time he would charge me. "Calm down Dr. Ruth" I retorted. He backed down.
Dating is hard. Dating during a pandemic is almost impossible. Almost. I know quite a few people that went on virtual dates for awhile and it worked -for them. Me? I need the live and in person connection. Maybe now that things are seemingly getting better for us (fingers crossed) maybe I will put my big girl panties on and try again. But how does one go from emitting "stay away from me" vibes to "I'm ready to date" vibes without seeming desperate? Hmm, how indeed.
Stay tuned for another episode of "As Yvonne Dates -or not" in future posts.
It's the weekend friends, go out and enjoy the hell out of it.
-peace.
8 comments:
As Yvonne Dates or not. Heh. Heh.
What a well written post.
Dating and meeting folks is tough and as we get older, it gets tougher. Wishing you much success finding the right person.
Love to help, but this is a subject in which I have indeed been an imbecile. I think my problem was I never knew I was a taker and not a giver. I could feel those vibes from someone else, but never saw them in me.
How do you find men to date? Is it a matter of happening to meet someone? Do you like it if your friends set you up on a blind date? I man shopped on OKCupid a number of years ago and purchased a man I liked. We've seen each other on and off ever since. Sometimes I think we're done with each other but something always ends up bringing us together again.
Love,
Janie
Sandra-oh you're right about that! It has become increasingly difficult meeting men that actually want to date you. It's all about 'hooking up' these days. Sadly -for them, I'm way past that stage. ;)
CW Martin- haha, I have dated "takers" before. Not for long though. I used to let the "takers" take and take because I felt that that would keep them interested. Fortunately, I no longer do that and am in a much better place now.
Jane Junebug - I keep my options open. I am not immune from being set-up on a blind date. Lately, I have met men through friends or work. I did that whole online dating years ago and while it was disaster after disaster, it kind of helped me weed out the men I definitely was not interested in. It also gave me writing material for years :)
I'm the last person to give you dating advice. I just say to be good with yourself, have fun, and know that you have all the love in the world to offer a man who's worthy of you. Regardless, be good to you, though.
Virtual hugs.
PS Oh yes, worst case scenario: Lots of great writing material! You got this, honey.
Robyn- I just love you friend! I really hope we get to meet one day and have a few drinks, discussing our dating life, non-dating life or whatever the case may be for either of us. We can show off our "love scars" ha! If anything, dating has always given me writing material, so there's that. -Thanks for the advice. I plan on doing exactly that. :)
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