Saturday, January 18, 2020

So You Think You Can Date?

So you think you can date eh?  Well ladies and gents, let me tell you about a singles group I am a member of on Facebook.  It was started by a friend of mine who wanted to get singles together to do things with, such as going to a movie or a concert or out to eat.  Some have even organized trips out of town. It's a local group based out of Houston.  Anyway, I joined it thinking it could be a means of meeting people men.  Basically, members post different topics, some superficial, some racy, some political, you get the picture right? It creates interaction with the premise that maybe a spark or two will result.  I've been a member for awhile now.  Overall it's a good place but something that has been bothering me for a while now is that men and women in that group can be so whiny. Good gawd!  During the holidays, I saw so many posts from both men and women crying about being alone for Christmas or how they will be alone for New Year's Eve again.  Seriously, maybe it's me getting older-ish or my desire to do much more than pine away for a man.  Or maybe I've just become jaded from dating the "wrong" men.  I dunno but I got kind of irritated when I saw posts like that.  Let me tell you something, just because you're single doesn't mean your life sucks. Just because you won't have anyone to kiss at midnight on New Years Eve, doesn't mean your life is over or that you shouldn't still venture out on that night, even if you are alone.  So what?  Embrace the single.  Embrace yourself.  Be happy with yourself.  I'm not gonna lie, I too, get caught up in my feelings sometimes and long to have someone to share my life with, I do.  The holidays just seem to exacerbate the "I'm single" situation.  But I don't let that define me.  And I most certainly don't post that kind of stuff on a singles site.  Who wants to date a whiner or a Debbie downer? That's not attractive! I get it though.  You want to meet someone and hurry up and fall in love and have your person.  I get that.  I want that.  But I'll be damned if I am going to stop enjoying life just because I don't have that yet.  I just won't do that.  I was alone this past holiday season and while I would get a little sad and long for someone to share my life with, I didn't get down on myself.  It's, it's just so exhausting to do so and however cliche this sounds, life is too short for that mess.

Another observation from being in that group, in general both sexes come across as too eager, too perfect.  "I'm ready for my Cinderella.  I have the shoe, just looking for the perfect fit.", one man wrote.  And continued, "I am sweet, loyal, honest, hard-working, love chick flicks, cuddling and basically will worship the ground you walk on, if you give me a chance"  Yes that's a true post.  Now to me, that comes across as desperate and just too much. I guess in their quest to find love, they want to put on their best face?  I don't know.  I am just looking to make new friends and maybe date here and there.  If something more were to happen then that would be amazing but if not, then I'm ok with that.  I just feel bad for those that think that life is nothing without a soul mate.

Alright, I got that off my chest, I feel better now.

-peace.




2 comments:

CWMartin said...

That first part, it has to be learned with time. I think basically you have givers and takers. Takers feel like someone should come along to fill them. Not many are willing to give when the taker is essentially a black hole. That was me.

Second part, this is the end result of what I said in part one- someone that glorifies their own image, thinking that is they way they WOULD be, and end up never being that way because the ones that fall for it aren't worth the devotion. At a certain point- hopefully sooner than me- you have to start addressing the "what's wrong with me" part and start building someone who can really give.

Great observations, and more maturity than you'll likely find from most of those in the groups like that.

Yvonne said...

Meh, I'm going to take up knitting and buy a plastic cat and call it a day. (I don't like cats so plastic will have to do) ;)

Chapter 56

The sunlight peeping through the curtains, stir her from her sleep.  Her eyes open and she rubs them a bit before sitting up in bed.  Eyes n...