More than any other year, this year, the holidays have a deeper meaning for me. You see, back in September, my mom suffered a stroke. That strong, vibrant, go-getter of a woman, my rock, suddenly became helpless. Luckily, her symptoms were recognized early and we got her to the hospital in time. The doctors could not pin-point what triggered the stroke. Days before it happened, we had a scare because my 14 year old nephew was struck by a car while riding his bike. He hit his head and passed out. He was not wearing a helmet. My mom took that very hard. She was beside herself when she saw him in the ER. Thankfully, my nephew only had to have a few minor stitches to his face and had bruising and lacerations, but nothing more than that. The doctors say that shock of seeing him bruised, bloody and crying in pain -seriously, he was looking like Rocky Balboa after a fight, could have played a role in her having the stroke. Everything was/is a guessing game. The stroke left her with a droopy face, loss of speech and partial paralysis of her right side. Her prognosis was good though. With lots of rehab and therapy, she would be back to normal. But it was going to take a lot of time and effort, and patience.
Our new normal. That's what we were dealt with. Life became a flurry of doctor appointments, rehab sessions, new medication, figuring out schedules between my siblings and I to get her to and from all of these appointments. It was stressful and anxiety ridden for all of us. Seeing your mother, who never complains about her health or how tired she is or anything, seeing her having to depend on us for pretty much everything, was difficult for us, I can only imagine how much more difficult it was for her. But you know, God is awesome. He hears us and answers our prayers. Sometimes not in the way we want, but he does answer them. In my mom's case, within a month she regained use of her right side. Her speech is almost back to normal, though her face has just the slightest bit of droopiness still. She's gone back to work and is driving again. She regained her independence and is so happy for it.
Since all of this happened, I no longer look at holidays or family gatherings as a chore or a burden. I welcome them. I embrace them. This Christmas season I have been ALL about it since December 1. And I take the time to actually enjoy the moments with her, with my siblings, even with people that work my last nerve. I'm a Christmas caroling fool I tell you.
I cannot describe the feeling of hopelessness and fear that I felt when I heard the voice on the phone telling me, "Your mom is having a stroke" We were all a mess. Had it not been for our faith, praying at every second and the support of our family, I honestly don't think my siblings and I would have made it.
So I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is, savor every moment of every day with your loved ones. Yes it's trite and yes it's really corny, but it's also very true.
-peace
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7 comments:
Without a doubt. My usual blog partner Bobby G had a stroke- that led to hospitalization- that led to exams for possible cancer- that led to him passing in his sleep before any of them were resolved. Just part of our wonderful world of 2019. Praise God that he was able to accomplish with your Mom while still keeping her here with you.
when I recently visited my mom, who is 80, it struck me that I need to cherish every single visit I have left with her.
Aww, I'm so sorry for the pain your mom had to suffer through, my friend. Though, I'm overjoyed she recovered so well and has her independence again. That's so important!
I went through the same thing with my grandmother ... who was like my mother, since she raised us after my mom died when we were still little. And it's strange, but there must be some truth to it. That some kind of trauma beforehand can lead to the stroke. See, she lost our family cat 2 months before. He had lived for 19 years and was her constant companion when the rest of us moved out to begin our own families/lives. He was there for her every day and every evening. And when he passed, she took it very hard. I always felt his passing was what led to her stroke. As she was in her mid 70s at the time, it took a whole year for her to get back to passable normal. But she's 85 now and still going strong, so I thank god for that.
I thank god for your mom, too. I'm wishing you and your family all the best this Christmas season, Yvonne. Celebrate life! :-)
CW Martin - Oh no! I'm so sorry about your friend. How are you doing?Honestly, every day I'm just so happy to see how much progress my mom has made. Some days are bad but there are more good than bad and for that, I'm grateful.
mshatch-yes most definitely. Cherish every single second with her that you can.
David - Thanks so much for your kind words for my mom, friend. I remember reading about your grandmother in your blog. What a strong woman she is. And she raised you and your brother, no easy feat! But kudos to her for doing it. She did a great job with you. :) Aww, I agree with you about the correlation between her cat's death and her succumbing to the painful grief she went through. I'm glad she is better. 85? Wow that's awesome! God bless her. And you :)
Thank goodness you're back to a very grateful new normal.
Love and holiday cheer to you and yours, Yvonne.
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