It's Storming

Usually, December is the most happiest time of the year.  Usually. This December, however, has been anything but the most happiest time.  I don't even have a Christmas tree up -that's how bad it's been. Because if you are a regular of my blog, you know I channel my inner Buddy the Elf and just enjoy every single minute of Christmas, every year.  But not this one.  In my previous post I wrote about my cousin passing away.  Well, as all that happening, an uncle from my dad's side of the family, suffered two heart-attacks within hours of each other.  Fortunately, the paramedics were quick and were able to save him both times.  They later told our family that he had pretty much died twice.  They were amazed that he was talking  after the first time they brought him back to life.  I went to visit him and almost ran out of the ICU.  That was not my uncle.  But I took a deep breath and walked into the room.  He was awake and alert and talking. Barely.  He smiled when he saw me and I walked up to his bed and gave him a hug.  Actually, because of all the tubes and machines, I kind of just lay my head on his chest briefly.  He took my hand and held it all the while I was there.  I caressed his handsome face and ran my fingers through his hair.  I told him I loved him and he needed to listen to the doctors and nurses, so he could get better.  It was a short visit.  He needed to rest.

I cried all the way home.  Today, my dad called to tell me he is much better, his color is back and he's sitting up and is more animated.  Which is good news.  And he's out of ICU.  Which is great news.  But he's not out of the woods yet.  And so we wait and we pray that everything will work out and he will be able to go home soon.

He's 56 years old.  He's my dad's baby brother.  We grew up together.  He baby-sat my siblings and I.  He's got two awesome grown kids.  And a sister and brother who adore him.  Oh and a first grandchild on the way!  He has everything to live for.

I try not to question why these things happen.  I try to make sense of it by embracing my faith.  But it is so hard to do sometimes.  Actually, it's so hard to do a lot of times.  I have this sadness that I don't know what to do with.  And I am so worried, for him, for my dad, who by the way, is freaking out inside, but on the outside he is doing everything he can to be there for his brother.  My dad is 78 years old and not in the best health either. But you could never tell  by looking at him now.

There has been so much tragedy and just bad news and chaos in our family these past few months.  But December is officially, the worst of all.  It's contagious, this bah-humbug mood that everyone is feeling.  I see it myself, in my siblings and my parents.  My faith taught me that in these most trying and difficult and tragic circumstances, is when we must be most faithful.  I'm trying, but as I said, it's hard sometimes.

If you made it this far, thanks. Really.