Goodbye 2018

A glass of wine (a glass, a bottle, same difference) my laptop and me

Such is what is happening right now at 12:43 a.m. on December 31, 2018.  There isn't even any music playing in the background.  The thoughts in my head are noisy enough.   What's up bloggies? I trust everyone's Christmas holiday was grand.  Mine was great.  Lots of family time, lots of catching  up with old friends and making new ones time, lots of eating and eating and wait for it, more eating time.  I think I gained 1000lbs!  Santa forgot a few a lot of my things.  Again.  Bastard.  

So here we are, hours away from celebrating a brand spanking, never before used, year.  Out with the old and in with the new.  Buh-bye 2018 and hello 2019!  We've been expecting you.  I don't know about you, but I for one, am glad to see 2018 go. (no offense 2018)  I'm eager for new beginnings and hopeful for what is to come.  Aren't you?

But hey, I'm getting ahead of time here.  We're still in 2018 so let me reflect on it for a little bit longer, yes? 

This year taught me things like, realizing that the only person I can truly count on is myself.  I learned that we see only what we want to see and convince ourselves that what we see is true, when in fact, deep down in our hearts, we know it's not.  I learned that I am a strong woman (calm down, I don't mean like Popeye strong) that can handle all kinds of situations and still come up standing and that, my friends, is so powerful to me.  I learned to let go of the bullshit that I carried on my shoulders for so long.  I let it go and it's ok.  I'm ok.  Life went on.  I learned to stand up to people who called themselves my friend.  I learned that  I am enough.  For myself, for my friends and family and for any man that is fortunate enough to catch my eye.   I learned that falling apart is not a sign of weakness or failure.  It's a sign of being alive.  Of feeling.   And it only becomes weakness or failure when you stay down, when you don't attempt to get  back up or rise above the burning pit of hell that we put ourselves in.  So yeah, I made mistakes but I didn't sweep them under the rug. I dealt with them and learned/am learning from them.  I crawled and scratched my way back up and got myself back into the land of the living.  That's pretty amazing if I do say so myself.

But you know, the best part of this learning year for me was learning how to love myself.  Putting myself first.  Wanting the best for ME.  Let me tell you something, that alone is so empowering, so uplifting and I feel free.  Yeah I sound corny and maybe even a little annoying but I don't care.  This is how I feel.  Take from it what you will.  That is what I got from 2018.

From my house to yours, may this 2019 be everything you want it to be.  May your bellies be full, your hearts content, your troubles bearable and your sadness fleeting.

 

Happy New Year friends!  Salud!