Wednesday, June 19, 2013


look at me
not past me
see me for who i am
not who you think i am

look at me
the real me
standing naked, exposing her soul

you don't get it
i try and explain
over and over
but you don't get it

full circle
life goes on
and so will i


sometimes i feel as if the people in my life have no idea what is really going on in my life.  oh they know about the obvious things.   but not what's inside, deep, deep inside, sometimes hidden so well, that i forget that part of me exists.  but then it surfaces, and i remember that i'm flawed.  jaded.  scared.  lonely and very sad.

or maybe they do know or realize it, but don't know what to say to me.  the thing is, i don't even know what to say to me sometimes.  instead, when i feel this way, i lose myself in my words, in my stories, in anything that will make the ache i feel inside, go away or at best, dull itself into oblivion.

maybe rambling way past my bedtime isn't the smartest thing to do, but for now, for me, it's the best thing.


Don said...

I hope you slept well and woke up later this morning feeling better about yourself.

You've written about friends you have and some great times, so dwell on them rather than on the less than good times and your loneliness.

If you don't already have an internet email or instant messaging pen pal or two to chat with and confide in that might be good for you to work on.

Best wishes!

David Batista said...

Don't worry -- we all go through this. I'm no stranger to this feeling, at least. Loved the poem! Life is all about the little moments of happiness we can grab. Because sometimes the bad stuff gets overwhelming. Take it one day at a time, my friend. You got this! :)

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Sometimes we just end up feeling a little out of it, even when we can't explain why. It's weird how these feelings can come just when we 'should' be feeling good about life and things...
It will pass, but I do find it helpful to just try to concentrate on something that is meaningful to me.
I wish you the best in feeling like your happy self again!

Belle said...

I guess we all wish we were understood completely by someone. It does hurt when we see no one understands us.

Yvonne said...

David- Thanks! :) I feel better now, I keep a lot bottled in, and let loose only in this blog of mine.

Don- Eh, I'm feeling better, thanks!

YRJ- Yes that's very true, I'm feeling better. :)

Belle- Yeah, I feel that way a lot, lately. Thanks for dropping by! :)

Slyde said...

dont know rambling... it can help :)

Red Shoes said...

When we bare ourselves, we set ourselves up for all kinds of messes.



Yvonne said...

Slyde- is it weird that i totally got what you said? ha!

Shoes- :) thanks! said...

Great poem. The final word, "again," makes it especially poignant. Sometimes people don't want to accept our emotions and challenges (i.e., humanness), because they're too scared to accept their own.

Be well, and find ways to stay cool. Remember that ice-cream helps.

Yvonne said...

Robyn- Glad you liked it! Ice cream helps everything! :)

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