Thursday night thoughts

The title to this post is so predictable and cheesy and lacks creativity!  I know, I know, apologies.  I am tired, and have a headache, and that's the first thing that came to mind.  Now then, tonight I'm enjoying a nice evening at home for a change.  I've been going and going like the Energizer bunny since Sunday!  So tonight calls for the Gypsy Kings, a glass of wine and my thoughts. 

Lets do this.

If memory serves me correctly, I wrote my first "story" in the fourth grade. Mrs. Gaston was my teacher and told us to write about a dog and a situation that demonstrated happiness and sadness. I took it upon myself to create what back then, for a 4th grader was a masterpiece! I remember that I received a gold star (the echelon of coolness back then!) for my prose and it was displayed on the tackboard in the front of the classroom for the entire month! Not too shabby eh? I remember I continued writing short stories, stuff I made up about my classmates.  I never used  real names, just real situations and make up all kinds of stuff! I used to carry around a spiral tablet.  The kind that the pages had the thin lines.  Then I would pass it around  to whomever wanted to read what I wrote. Scandalous! Some of my classmates were not too amused but most were intrigued and got a kick out of trying to figure out who I was writing about.  Most of the time, they always thought it was about them!  Soon I was writing for them all the time and I soon figured out, as long as I wrote to the masses, I was popular! Hmmm, some things never change.
Writing calms me down, excites me, and sometimes, forces me to look into myself -the self that I have a hard time dealing with. I'm not what you call "structured" when it comes to my writing. I'm all over the place! Because of this, I get myself into trouble at times. Being very impulsive, I often (too often if you ask me!) act before thinking things out, or speak without regard for consequences I can't help it. I'm an "act now" "think later" kind of girl!

I started this blog to showcase not only what comes out of my mind but also to gain insight into my psyche -if that makes sense? I realize that I'm putting myself in a very vulnerable place.  I know that some people that read or will read my blog may be someone I know.  And that puts me in a precarious position.  Do I gloss over my words for fear of retaliation? Hmm, I thought about it and came up with this rationalization: If I have to write "on guard" , worry about what others will think , then, I'm defeating my purpose.  I write what I want, however I want. It's what I do. With the exception of hurting a family member by something I wrote earlier this year, my method seems to work for me.  So, although some things ARE better left unsaid, I will take my chances and write the good word or bad word -enough said