Dear Sunday...

It's not that I don't "like" you, because I do.  I mean, Sunday-Fundays would never be the same if they were called Saturday-Fundays right?  So, you see, I do like you.  I just hate that you come so quickly!  If you were someone's sex partner, that would just be all kinds of bad.  Anyway, I hate that my weekend is over and I have to go to sleep, so I can wake-up and go to work, and begin my week, all the while, impatiently awaiting for my weekend to begin. 

Don't be jealous.

Love,
 -me.

familiar "face"

i saw a familiar face.  or at least, i "thought" i saw a familiar face.  out of all the eateries there are in houston, (and believe me, there are plenty, we love to eat!) HE had to walk into mine.  well, not really "mine" per se, but mine in the sense that that is where i was.  he walked in, i noticed HIM immediately.  the face, that sheepish grin, his richard gere, beady eyes, sigh, all at once my heart beat faster, my face got hot, i became a bundle of nerves and i suddenly had an incredible urge  to throw-up.  all that, because i "thought" i saw the familiar face.  it's been over a year since we last saw each other.  so, ready to laugh? it wasn't HIM.  upon getting a closer look, i realized my mistake.  even though a part of me was relieved, another part of me, was truly disappointed.  one of my friends that witnessed the entire scene as it played out, suggested that perhaps i wanted it to be HIM so badly, that i convinced myself it was.  hmm, fair enough.  needless to say, i felt ridiculous and wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back out. 

and this kids, was my saturday afternoon.  i'm ready, commence with the insults, jokes, whatever you got, i deserve it.

Men, the Married kind, and Me

I'm curious, do I have a sign on my face that screams, "Desperate"!!!!? I have been getting hit on by nothing but MARRIED men lately! It's really getting on my nerves! What the hell???

"No I don't want your number!"
 "No, I won't go out with you!",
Why???
"Um, because you are MARRIED!!!!"

Funny how they "forget" that part! Ugh! Scum! Some men are blatant about it too, they don't care if you know or not that they are married. This one man, lets call him Asshole, came up to me at a baseball game, he was wearing a wedding band. So I'm cool at first, I mean, I'm not so superficial as to think that every man that approaches me wants to hit on me right? Right. So he starts chatting with me and mind you, I noticed the ring from miles away! (women have a knack for that sort of stuff you know!) Well, he gets thisclose to my face and starts telling me all kinds of crap!

"You're the best thing I've seen all day!"
 "You're so pretty I can't concentrate on the ball game."
 and, wait for it, "I'd really like to hit a grand slam with you, let's get outta here..."

Bahahahahahaha! Seriously? That's the best you could do?  I proceeded to ask him if his wife would be joining us. "Now why do you have to bring me down like that?" was his reply. Um, yeah, buh-bye! Oh my god! The next guy I encountered at a mutual friend's house party. We'll call him Asshole #2.  His wife was actually at the SAME party! He kept pawing me and leering at me all night and even tried to corner me and kiss me. I threatened telling his wife who was only in the next room. He told me I was "No fun!" and walked away laughing. Call me Debbie Downer then, LOSER!  The rest of the men are not even worth mentioning in this post.  I swear, some married men are ridiculously stupid! (Not to be confused with all men are stupid) If you aren't going to bother taking the vows seriously, then why bother getting married in the first place? I don't get it.  I know there are women out there that actually don't mind dating/seeing/screwing (whatever you want to label it) a married man. Some actually prefer a married man over a single man. Why? I dunno.  But I know women who are perfectly happy with that kind of arrangement.  Hey, whatever makes you happy, but it's so one-sided, not to mention just wrong! Not to mention Karma will seek revenge and I'm not a fan of pissing her off! Yeah, Karma's a woman, didn't you know that?  Oh yeah!  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.   I don't know what kind of vibe I'm emitting either!  But for the past month it seems the ONLY kind of men that have been asking me out, coming on to me, trying to grope me, are the married kind! (with the exception of Ball Cap Guy, but then, we all know how great that turned out) 

Hmm, maybe I need to change my perfume.

It's Wednesday guys! The weekend is right around the corner.  See it?
 
Be good.

"strong, like bull"

Failure is not an option.
Mediocrity is not an option

I keep repeating those two sentences in my head.  Hoping that by some miracle, the words will become embedded in my head, in my brain, in my heart and in my spirit.  No matter how hard we try or how many times we fall and get back up, staying on course, can become very difficult.  Especially if you've lived your life a certain way and now suddenly, are making all of these changes and  taking it in different directions, to unfamiliar territory.  I've hit another road-block in my quest to find a "better version of myself".  It's nothing out of this world, but a hindrance, nonetheless.  The cool thing about this time, is that instead of freaking out about the situation and obsessing about it, I took a deep breath, accepted it for what it was and tried to come up with a solution.  I've still got some kinks to work out on the solution part.  But that's nothing, it will all be worked out and I will be back on that road in no time.  So, no worries there.  I'm proud of myself for being proactive instead of reactive, as is my custom.  I've come a very long way from last year.  A very long way indeed!  Throughout these past 11 months, one of the many things I've learned while on this journey, is that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for and that no matter how many times I may fall, I always get back up, dust myself off, lick my wounds, and keep going.   Not bad for Tuesday night huh?

Life is a beautiful thing kids!

A Real Man

I read an article in the paper today discussing traits that constituted a "Real" man.  Some of the qualities listed by the author were dead on, and then there were others that were just plain ridiculous.  I thought it would be fun to share with you bloggies!  Here are just ten traits that the author listed . What do you think? What would you add? 

10 MANLY TRAITS
What (else) makes a man a real man?
1    A man makes decisions and lives with the consequences.
2    A man would rather die than break his word.
3    A man carries cash.
4    A man isn't satisfied with his papa's money. He spits on Lady Luck and decides his own destiny.
5.   A man avoids visible brands on his clothes.
6    A man never says something to someone online that he wouldn't say to the person's face.
7    A man doesn't break up on the phone, via text or on Facebook.
8    A man looks out for children. He makes them stand behind him.
9    A man is comfortable being alone.
10  A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

Sources: The Art of Manliness (artofmanliness.com), AskMen's Top 10: Traits of a Real Man (askmen.com) and Esquire magazine's What Is a Man? by Tom Chiarella

Sunday Wrap-up

Time goes by so quickly these days.  It seems like only yesterday it was Friday and I was skipping to my car at 5:00 p.m. to begin my weekend.  But alas, Friday was two nights ago. So here we are again, Hello Sunday.  So what's up everyone? How was the weekend for you?  Anything good?  Share with me. Mine was nice.  Friday night I met some friends for dinner and a movie.  Followed by some wine and great  great conversation.  We proceeded to dissect the movie we had just watched.  The topic was whether or not having a "Friend With Benefits"was actually do-able (no pun intended) without someone eventually getting emotionally attached.  Coincidentally, the name of the movie we saw was "Friends With Benefits".  Ooooh yeah, I got my Justin Timberlake fix!  Ok back on topic, so the group I was with was torn, half said "yes" totally do-able and the other half said "absolutely not do-able"  I was team "Yes".  I believe and have had such relationships before.  Strictly physical, no emotional ties whatsoever. What? Don't judge.  We ALL have needs.  But by the same token, I have also been the one to get emotionally attached as well.  That has only happened to me once.  And it will never happen again.  The ramifications of that one-sided relationship drained my soul.  It wasn't like I went in hoping something more would transpire, I knew it wouldn't.  But going in, I was already in love with him.  I thought I could handle it.  Clearly, I could not.  So anyway, some of the guys were saying that they've met many women who "claim" they are on the same page with the "men" as far as "no strings attached" but in actuality, when it came right down to it, they found that those same women, tended to fold as a result of their emotional attachment.  That in sentence in itself, brought on dagger stares from the females in our group to the males in our group. Almost simultaneously we all blurted out, "Guys do it too!"  And they do.  This entire conversation was had for over an hour.  We kept trying to change the subject but would always return to discuss the same thing.  Finally, after several bottles of wine, we agreed to disagree on coming to a definitive conclusion. We were too drunk to continue diplomatic like that. 

Saturday was family day.  I spent time with the parentals and my sibs and my nieces and nephews.  I love those little munchkins so much! They are my heart.

And today was "R&R" day for Yvonne. (aka as "me") i.e. Rest and Relax day.

The dreaded Monday is on deck kids, lets all hit it out of the ballpark!

"I'm Richie Cunningham, and these are my friends!"

It's interesting how many of my single friends are home alone on a Saturday night! *GASP*  I came to this conclusion based on some of their statuses on Facebook.  One friend's post read, "Home and in bed by 9:00 p.m., on Saturday night, I'm officially a loser"  Really? A loser for being home on a Saturday night?  Bleh! I don't buy that.  Especially since I'M home on a Saturday night as well! And I'm no loser!  Actually, I did have a few invites to do things but I chose to stay home.  I had a long week, and I went out last night and I was out in the Sahara desert heat all day.  So I passed on all invites, grabbed a book and curled up on my sofa, with a glass of wine, and Sade playing in the background.  I'm a happy girl!  Reading that status about being a loser stayed on my mind.  Obvious, since I'm now writing about it!  Is staying home instead of going out on a weekend now a form of a stigma? Is there an etiquette book for singles out there that I need to purchase? Did I just commit a mortal sin by choosing to stay home?  What gives, bloggies? Shed some light on this for me.  I'm rather fascinated by this whole concept.  I mean, I can see this happening when I was in high school, oh hell, it did happen when I was in high school.  You know, staying in because you didn't have anything to do but then come Monday morning, you made some stuff up to your cool friends so you wouldn't look like a total moron.  But that was then.  Now, I'm older and more mature (no comments from the Peanut gallery please)  I personally, I could give a rat's ass what people think of me, period.  But I most certainly definitely don't care if you think I'm a loser for staying in on a weekend or not.  And I've had some friends of mine actually tell me that I was becoming one (loser) because I went through a "hermit" phase, where I only worked and then vegged out at home. I never went anywhere or did anything else.  Even on the weekends.  Hey, I was burned out, frustrated with stuff and yeah, I became a hermit.  But I came out of my cave one day and joined the land of humanity again.  Is that so wrong?  Give me a break!  I do find it amusing that people want to "hide": fact that they are staying home.  That's even worse! What happens if you get caught? What happens when your little white lie become a huge white lie? And why do that call it a little "white" lie? Why can't it be a "lie" period? Why do we have to give it a color?  Who thought of this anyway?  Alright, I'm cutting myself off the wine dammit!

Hope all of you are having an amazing weekend, whatever you're doing or not doing.  Remember, go big or go home!

Peace.

ps- so the title of this post may make absolutely no sense to you, i know.  see, there was an episode on Happy Days when Richie was chastised for not hanging out with his "cool" friends, but instead choosing his real friends.  Finally, after being bullied by his "cool" friends for the last time, Richie blows up, and says that line.  I tied it together to this post about being a loser for staying home on a weekend versus, not being a loser and still staying home.  Make sense? I didn't think so.  But I got it. :)

Thursday night thoughts

The title to this post is so predictable and cheesy and lacks creativity!  I know, I know, apologies.  I am tired, and have a headache, and that's the first thing that came to mind.  Now then, tonight I'm enjoying a nice evening at home for a change.  I've been going and going like the Energizer bunny since Sunday!  So tonight calls for the Gypsy Kings, a glass of wine and my thoughts. 

Lets do this.

If memory serves me correctly, I wrote my first "story" in the fourth grade. Mrs. Gaston was my teacher and told us to write about a dog and a situation that demonstrated happiness and sadness. I took it upon myself to create what back then, for a 4th grader was a masterpiece! I remember that I received a gold star (the echelon of coolness back then!) for my prose and it was displayed on the tackboard in the front of the classroom for the entire month! Not too shabby eh? I remember I continued writing short stories, stuff I made up about my classmates.  I never used  real names, just real situations and make up all kinds of stuff! I used to carry around a spiral tablet.  The kind that the pages had the thin lines.  Then I would pass it around  to whomever wanted to read what I wrote. Scandalous! Some of my classmates were not too amused but most were intrigued and got a kick out of trying to figure out who I was writing about.  Most of the time, they always thought it was about them!  Soon I was writing for them all the time and I soon figured out, as long as I wrote to the masses, I was popular! Hmmm, some things never change.
Writing calms me down, excites me, and sometimes, forces me to look into myself -the self that I have a hard time dealing with. I'm not what you call "structured" when it comes to my writing. I'm all over the place! Because of this, I get myself into trouble at times. Being very impulsive, I often (too often if you ask me!) act before thinking things out, or speak without regard for consequences I can't help it. I'm an "act now" "think later" kind of girl!

I started this blog to showcase not only what comes out of my mind but also to gain insight into my psyche -if that makes sense? I realize that I'm putting myself in a very vulnerable place.  I know that some people that read or will read my blog may be someone I know.  And that puts me in a precarious position.  Do I gloss over my words for fear of retaliation? Hmm, I thought about it and came up with this rationalization: If I have to write "on guard" , worry about what others will think , then, I'm defeating my purpose.  I write what I want, however I want. It's what I do. With the exception of hurting a family member by something I wrote earlier this year, my method seems to work for me.  So, although some things ARE better left unsaid, I will take my chances and write the good word or bad word -enough said

Monday- Done!

“It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” – George Eliot


I read this quote on http://thereddressclub.blogspot.com/2011/07/letting-go-of-fear.html?  Given the subject of my last post, I thought it apropos to post the quote here.  Food for thought, wouldn't you agree?  How many of us have dreamed of making a difference in this world? Of leaving our mark?  I want to succeed as a writer so badly I ache for it.  I'm not giving up, that's not even an option for me.  I know the road to success is a long and treacherous one.  But I'm not giving up.  And neither should you, with whatever endeavor or dream you aspire.

Happy Monday kids! I trust everyone's weekend was fabulous!  Mine was super-relaxing! Lots of pool side time, reading, writing, and contemplating.  I spent my weekend at a friend's house. I kinda went on a mini-escape.  She lives in the middle of nowhere. (Cinco Ranch for you Houston folk)  I went over on Saturday afternoon and ended up spending the night.  It was cool! Lots of girl talk, some tears, lots of laughs and of course, lots of wine! Good times!

Yesterday I watched the USA women's team in a soccer match against Japan, with a group of friends.  It was a very exciting and intense match!  In the end, Japan came out victorious.  While I hated seeing the US lose, I'm glad Japan won, if for no other reason, than to get back a little happiness into that earthquake ridden country.

Well, that's all I have tonight.

You know the drill, it's a new week, make it count! 

just your normal sunday night thoughts, or not.

I've been doing a lot of contemplating the past couple of months.  A LOT.  Turning 45 in a few months is taking a toll on me. It's really bugging me! And as much as I say that "age is just a number" and "you're only as old as you feel" ---I can't help but keep freaking out about this!  Why?  Could it be that I'm actually starting to feel old? Nah! I'm too cute for that!  More than the "numbers" though, it's the worry about accomplishments that taunts me the most.  Accomplishments.  I'm harder on myself than anyone else.  I am my own worst critic.  I start questioning my life, my decisions, my lack of judgment, my "hits and misses"  At the start of the new year, I vowed to make changes, I vowed to make a difference, I vowed this year, this year, would be different.  And in many ways, it has been.  But not enough. Not nearly enough.  So as this seventh month of the year moves along, I am again vowing to keep going, to keep moving, and to keep true to the promises I made to myself.  This getting older crap, sucks!  Yeah, I know, the alternative would be much worse.  But I'm licking my wounds here, let me have that.  I keep wondering if I would feel the same way if  I were married and had children.  Would the feelings of angst be lessened?  I dunno.  Maybe.  I just feel like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is, but it's something not within my grasp yet.  And I'm not necessarily speaking of a relationship with someone.  Sure, I'd love to find someone and have this incredible love affair, but really, for me, it's more of a self-fulfillment that is missing. Does that make sense?  It's something that I am craving, that I can almost taste, and no matter how much I look for it or try and figure out what "it" is, I can't figure it out.  Sigh,  this is too heavy to deal with on a Sunday night.   Ugh! I need to go to the gym in the morning instead of the evening tomorrow! I need to work-out all of this insanity brewing in my head and beat something up! 

Alright.  Enough.

Tomorrow is another day and all that.

"and the beat goes on..."

No one wants to date anymore it seems.  Everyone is in such a hurry to jump from one extreme to the other. In my case, from "dating" to "having sex"  Do I want to? Sure, eventually.  But we're still getting to know each other.  If I was looking solely for a sexual encounter then we would have accomplished that probably the first night we met.  Ugh! I'm not about that anymore.  I thought we were both on the same page.  That's what I was led to believe anyway.  I was wrong.  By now, if you're still here, you may have guessed that I'm talking about "Ball cap guy"  We met a few weeks ago and he's been super sweet and we've been spending  a lot of time together.  He's cooked for me several times, I've reciprocated.  We've talked for hours, you know, getting to know each other. We've had some pretty fantastic make-out sessions.  But that's as far as it's gotten. Or that was as far as it had gotten.  Until tonight.  We had a nice date, dinner, movie, a drink at a local pub and then home.  This is where it all fell apart.  So we're sitting on his couch, talking, kissing and laughing.  Things quickly progress and soon there is heavy breathing and soft moans.  That's my red light! My cue, if you will.  I stop him, he stops.  But then he starts again.  I stop him again.  He tells me he's waited long enough.  Wait.  What?  "I told you from the beginning that I wasn't ready to jump into a sexual relationship.  That I wanted to take things slow and get to know one another.  I thought you said you were on the same page?"  He sat across from me on the sofa, we'd miraculously found cause to not be thisclose to each other anymore.  "Yvonne, I really like you, but I have needs, don't you?"  We're soooo not on the same page.  I grabbed my stuff and asked him to drive me home.  He told me I was overreacting and that this was normal.  He said that this was a way for us to get closer.  Ok, I get that. I do. And if I was ready to have sex with him, I would have jumped him right then and there.  But I'm not.  I don't want this relationship to be just about sex.  I'm not at that point.  Why is that so difficult for him to understand?  I want to be wooed and take time to get to know him and him to get to know me.  I want a relationship.  Is that so wrong?  Ugh! I hate dating, I hate dating, I hate dating!  And why was this all about him? He never once asked me if I was ready or how I felt taking our relationship further or any of that! He just assumed I was or expected me to be.  What's up with that? That's not cool! Meh! We ended our "discussion" at an impasse.  Neither one of us would give in.  But the clincher, the gut wrenching, twist the knife a little harder clincher was when he said to me, "You're an older woman, you should be a pro at this! This should not be this difficult!"  Yeah, I forgot to mention he's a wee bit younger than me.  Like, 11 years younger. What? Don't judge.  Anyway, the whole thing sucked all around.  He ended driving me home.  LONGEST.DRIVE.EVER.  It was done in total silence.  When we got to my place, he turned to look at me and told me he didn't hold any grudges.  That I was a great person and a very sexy woman, but just not the sexy woman for HIM.  Oh.my.god!!! He said that!!!  I was at a loss for words. (incredible isn't it?)  I don't even remember if I said anything to him.  All I remember was getting out of his car and walking up to my front door.  All evening I've been going over what happened in my head.  Replaying it like a bad movie.  Pausing it, only to mull over the good parts. I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach and I'm gasping for air.  I really wanted him to be someone special in my life.  I really did.  I called my friend *Gustabo to tell him the latest, and he told me that BCG  wasn't the "special someone" that was supposed to be in my life.  Then he said to stop moping and go out and get laid! Good thing he keeps everything in perspective! Whatever would I do without a friend like him? :)

So kids, that was my Friday night.  It's 1:00 a.m. now, Saturday morning.  I'm wide awake, who else?

For the love of SHOES!

Hello bloggies! Happy Tuesday to you!  Tonight kids, I've got shoes on my mind.  That's right. Zapatos which means "shoes" in Spanish. Let's begin.  So a few weeks ago I bought THE cutest shoes ever!  They are dark red, pointy shoes with a 4 inch heel.  Now, before all you ladies start laughing at the 4 inches, let me say that I'm only 4'11, and not very coordinated, so for me to wear anything higher than a 3 to 4 inch heel would be a HUGE mistake and cause havoc on my person or (gasp!) someone else.  Trust me on this.  Alright, so back to the shoes.  I don't know what it is about a new pair of shoes but this morning when I was walking to work, I felt and looked like a million bucks. I was powerful, I was sexy and I was workin the shoes!  Plus, red always makes me feel sexy. By mid-morning however, not so much.  I had suddenly lost "the sexy" and found instead, the, "Ouchie! What the heck was I thinking!?"  Yep.  My tootsies were in pain.  Yes I knew the shoes were a teeny, weenie bit "uncomfortable" when I tried them on initially. But I could not, would not, and did not pass up the opportunity to purchase such awesome shoes! They were on sale dammit! More importantly, they were so cute!  Ladies, help me out here.  Am I right? Women tend to endure pain all for the sake of THE SHOES.  Let's face it, more times than not, the shoes make or break the outfit.  I'd rather look good and suffer through foot pain than look bad.  Makes sense?  Besides, what's a little blister or five two among us gals?  It's not childbirth for crying out loud!

Something lacking this way comes...

Words escape me
Thoughts dance in my head sporadically
All the while, a blank stare meets my gaze
I sigh loudly, and turn off the computer screen.
Writers block sucks.

On Being Nice

Recently, it was brought to my attention that sometimes, I am just too nice.  Hmm, perhaps.  See, the thing is, I am a nice person, period.  So it's not in my nature to be a "bitch" as one of my friends suggested I become.  Don't get me wrong, I can be one when I'm pushed over the edge, no doubt about that.  But for the most part, I'm pretty laid-back and yeah, I go out of my way to help others when I can.  I never expect anything in return.  I often over-extend myself because of this, but I don't see it as some type of character flaw.  My friends however, beg to differ with me.  The whole reason why they decided to point this out to me is because of a situation that I found myself in recently.  I helped someone, bent over backwards for them, literally gave them the shirt off my back, and in the end, I got burned.  This is not the first time I've gotten burned either, no, I seem to be a masochist in this respect.  It's just in my nature to want to help, to want to fix things.  To feel needed.  This behavior transcends into my "relationships" as well, with my friends, with my family and with my relationships, platonic or not.  I'll give you an example.  There once was a man named *Joe in my life.  I was in my early thirties when I met him.  We met on a blind date.  He was newly divorced.  (I know, I know, that should have been my first sign to run the other way) I was crazy in love with this guy.  Crazy.  There was nothing I would not do for him.  He knew my feelings for him, he did not feel the same.  We became friends instead.  We never fooled around or anything like that.  Our relationship was strictly platonic.  He kept me in his life because he needed me.  I became his legal consultant regarding questions about his  divorce, his custody of his son, I helped him financially,  I even set him up with some of my friends, in essence, he used me and I let him.  Why? I guess because I thought that the more I did for him, the more he would see what a great person I was and suddenly that would make him love me.  Insane isn't it??? Ugh, we all do things we're not proud of in our lives.  I'm embarrassed to even admit this part of my life.  I call them the "Dark Years". Thankfully, one day, I woke up and was angry.  At myself, at him, at the time I wasted on this idiot!  So I cleaned house and took back control of my life.  That relationship did not end nicely. I ended up taking him to small claims court for the money he owed me. (I won) Word to the wise, always draw up a promissory note when lending money or for any act that involves any type of loan, financial or not.  And always keep a copy of said signed document.  I may do stupid things, but I'm not stupid.  So lesson learned.  Unfortunately, this "stigma" of being too nice still defines me.  There is a guy that I've mentioned before on this blog, that I refer to as "Him"   Once, when he was leaving my apartment, he looked at me and said, "You're so nice..." he said it as if he was just learning that fact about me. Or perhaps because he was surprised that I didn't tell him off for being such a jerk.  Sigh, maybe my friends are right after all.  Maybe the inner bitch in me should be released.  The thing is, I don't like myself when I am like that.  Unless, of course, you deserve it.  I'm getting better though.  The whole reason I started this blog again, was to face my demons and my failures and my fears.  In these past eleven months, I've almost come full circle.  Almost.  I'm still learning things about myself, I'm still working towards becoming a better version of myself.  And I'm still nice.  I guess that part of me will never change.  It is what it is.

Got Sleep?

After laying in bed for over an hour with the sleep fairy NO WHERE to be found, I gave up and came here, where everybody knows my name. Heh.  I always keep the humor going.  Anyway, who's up? Who's up?  Let's see, I don't really have a lot to say tonight, er, this morning, whatev.  I'm tired, I know that.  I'm also sleepy but can't fall asleep. Go figure!  Oh! I do have a "haha" story to tell you.  It involves me, so it's REALLY funny! So yesterday, after work I had to hurry and fight my way through horrific traffic and a torrential downpour, (When it rains in Houston -which is rare these days, everyone forgets how to drive!) to make it in time for my bestie *Gustabo's post-birthday dinner.  So picture this, rain, wind, lightening, massive, bumper to bumper traffic, Metro buses thinking they own the streets, and then there's me, in my little car.  I was all smug, driving along in the ONLY lane that seemed to have any life in it, when I soon realized that I was in the HOV lane and needed to get over thisfast in order to get on the highway. Well, of course, the biatches in the lane I needed to switch over to, would not let me in! Can you believe that?  Ugh! So off I go onto the HOV lane. Two things you need to know, I'm claustrophobic and there was cop driving behind me.  I noticed him through my rear-view mirror and almost went ballistic! Not only was I probably definitely going to get a ticket because I was passengerless, but the walls on either side of me were starting to close in.  Not literally of course, but as I said, I'm very claustrophobic and in closed spaces, I start hyperventilating if there is no exit sign or any sign of wider spaces.  In this instance I was screwed all the way around because I had a cop behind me and my hyperventilating was beginning to take over my rationale. The stupid HOV lane went on forever and ever in my frame of mind.  In reality, it was about ten minutes,  See? Forever.  But wait, there's more! Not only was I being followed by the lawz (trying to spice it up with slang, clever yes?), but I was also going in the complete OPPOSITE direction and HIGHWAY that I needed to be going in! I was never so happy to see an exit sign than I was yesterday!  I made my exit and prayed and prayed the cop would not follow suit.  Guess what? God listened to me and the patrol car kept going and didn't exit with me! I was ticket free! YES!  By this time the downpour was but a mere trickle and so I was able to make good time as I headed ALLLLLL the way back into town and onto the intended highway.  Yep, that was my yesterday afternoon drive debacle!  I made it to the restaurant, pushed *Gustabo out of my way and headed to the bar! 

Fun times, fun times.

Never a dull moment with me, I tell you! Even on the most boring of boring days!  Fortunately for me, and you too, this next little bit of info is anything BUT boring.  "Ball-cap guy" and I had lunch today and are going out again on Saturday night.  Exciting! I know, I know!  :)  That's all you're getting.

So kids, it's the weekend again! What is everyone doing? Not doing? This enquiring, insomniac mind wants to know.

And on that note, I'm off to see a pillow about some sleep. 

Ciao!

Love

Mid-week already! Yay!  I've been writing a lot lately, mostly working on my book. Because of that, I am not feeling very "blog" worthy right now.  So I wrote a short, kind of poem.  You may like it or not.  Writing a love story, naturally, makes me think about matters of the heart. I'm a girl, what do you expect?  So bloggies, here you go, a middle of the week whisper, if you will.  Enjoy!

The yearning in my heart grows stronger.

The pangs of longing come more frequently.
How to stop this madness going on?

I can feel your breath
You touch my soul
I see you as you should be
You see me as I am

When will it be my turn?

Love.

Clean Slate!

Happy Tuesday bloggies! (what's left of it)  How is everyone?  Well, after yesterday's tragic news, and the somber mood I fell into afterwards, I'm happy to report that I am almost 100 percent better today!  Yay! Although still saddened and in mourning, I find solace in knowing that he is in a better place and that *F and her children will in time, be just fine.  They have a lot of support, they have family and many, many friends, but most of all, they have faith.  So do I, everything will get better, I feel it in my heart of hearts.  Thank you to all of you who commented and emailed me.  Your outpouring of support once again, amazed me! I am a very lucky girl!

Alright, deep breath guys, and exhale, now then, so I spent the holiday at the beach yesterday. ALL.DAY.IN.THE.SUN.  Yah, I'm beyond cooked! No I didn't fall asleep laying out, (a la Lucy Ricardo while in Hollywood), I just never went into the tent that we so triumphantly assembled on our own (after numerous tries of course!).  I laid out, played Frisbee, braved the waters of the Gulf and played in the sand.  When I finally took a shower at home, later that evening, the tub looked like I had brought half of the Galveston sand with me!   Ahhh, but it was well worth it!  Great day with friends!

I don't know about you, but I had the most difficult time trying to get back into "work" mode today.  It's always hard coming back to the office after a long holiday weekend.  Somehow, I made it through and then bypassed the gym and went to the park instead.  Even though it's scathingly hot outside, the thought of being in a gym just didn't appeal to me.   I wanted to be outdoors.  So I drove to the park and ran/walked my 3 miles.  I was not the only loony braving the heat either.  There were quite a bit of others out there as well.  Great minds think alike you know!

Ok, this one is going to be short and sweet.  (just like me!)  But before I forget, let me welcome the new followers to this little blog of mine! There have been a few in recent weeks.  Thank you for the follow and welcome to my chaos! 

Alright kids, you know the drill, it's Tuesday, make it a GREAT rest of the week!

Circle of Life

This life we live, it has a way of making us stop and take inventory, even when we don't want to.  Sadly, this post will not be a happy one.  On my way home from the beach today, I learned that my friend Michelle's (one of the Musketeers) brother-in-law passed away suddenly.  He was thirty-seven years old.  He leaves behind a wife and two young children.  Not twenty-four hours earlier, I was with all of them.  We were swimming, grilling food, laughing, enjoying a beautiful Sunday.  He was alive the last time I saw him, and now, he's not.  I am still kind of in shock. I have not gotten over the fact that he is gone.  I was not close to him by any means, but his passing, still affects me. I mourn his loss, and I mourn the fact that his children will no longer have him in their lives.  My heart is heavy and aches tonight.
I try not to question life's designs, I take them as they come and leave everything to God. But in some instances, I can't help but ask "why" and look to my Catholic upbringing for answers.  When a tragedy like this happens, it makes me ponder my own existence in this crazy world.  My purpose.  And lately, my lack of direction.  Not gonna lie, there have been times when I've thought that I'm just here taking up space, oxygen, and merely existing to exist.  It's at those darkest moments, that I rely on my faith and my family, and my friends to help me not stay in that state. 

But it's all about perspective, living life to the fullest, etc.  How many of us can honestly say we do this though?  We all know the circle of life.  We all know we're going to die one day.  But I think that we believe ourselves to be invincible.  And perhaps, some of us live in denial, "I'm never gonna die"  That's a bit over-board, but it's true.  I know a few people who live that way!  Life is life.  It's up to us to do as much as we can with it, while we can.  So do it! Just as all those slogans and daily affirmations tell us to do. 

Rest in peace, Steven.

A little bit of this and little bit of that...

Fridays generally make me happy, but when it comes in the form of a three day weekend, well, that just makes me ecstatic!  What's happening?  How was everyone's week?  Been kinda quiet the past few days, you may have noticed, or not.  I've been a little busy.  Ok, A LOT busy!  Get comfy, take your shoes off, you're going to be here awhile!

First things first, date number one was tonight.  If you read my blog on Sunday, you will recall that I picked someone up at a random bar last weekend. Heh.  Not exactly true but it sounded good! So I met this guy I nicknamed "Ball cap guy" because, well he was wearing one when we met.  Anyway, we spoke pretty much all week, via email, texts, and something called a telephone.  This being a holiday weekend, we both had things going on for Saturday and Sunday, so we decided to go out tonight.  As far as dates go, this one by far, was pretty great!  For those that have been following my blog since it's inception, you know that this type of date, almost NEVER happens to me! Am I right?  Of course I am!  I'm not going to share the deets about the date yet, I'm still savoring it.  I'll divulge later, promise.  Just know that he's hotter than I remembered him to be, he's got a great sense of humor, knows his salad fork from his dinner fork and he had peach roses waiting for me, at our table.  There WILL be a second date in the future. (Just fyi, um, I told him my favorite type of roses were peach, while in my alcohol induced fog I was in, last Saturday! He REMEMBERED!)

Let's move on.

Well, it's over. Boot-camp from hell is OVER!  I finally finished my 30 day challenge and guess what?  I didn't die like I thought I would!  I lost a total of 24lbs and several inches from my waist, hips, and thighs.  This was about more than losing weight for me, it was about challenging and pushing myself to a place I always run from, myself.  I am so proud of me I can't stop smiling! Growing up,  I always shyed away from challenges that involved blood, sweat and tears (and torture).  Ha! Not this time! In fact, I signed up for another boot-camp at the end of August.  Thanks again guys, for all of your support, encouragement, and emails, during this past month.  I am so grateful to all of you!!!

Ok, that was old business, new business?

Hmm, well, I'm in sort of a jam and need your advice.  "A jam? No! Not you Yvonne!" ---I know that's what you're all saying.  But yes, yes, it's true, I'm in trouble.  Ok, I have mentioned my best friend *Gustabo in this blog before. Well, he started dating someone a while back and she and I met and totally hit it off!  Great right? Um, yes and no.  See, we've grown to be friends, and do things together, etc.  So, they decided to stop seeing each other recently, and I'm sad.  I don't want to give up my new friend.  Is that wrong?  I've spoken to *Gustabo about it and he is totally cool with us hanging out but it's me that feels guilty.  Should I? Meh! I mean, *Alana (that's my fake name for her) sees no problem with it either. We do not discuss *Gustabo at all.  Their split was an amicable one.  No hard feelings, and all that.  It's just me who is slightly uneasy.  Um, maybe that's not the right word to use.  Maybe more like, disloyal?  I don't know. I'm rambling yes, but hey, don't I always?  Am I just overthinking this? Stop laughing and saying, "You over-think everything Yvonne!" -I can hear y'all!  Thoughts?

Now you!  What's everyone doing for the 4th of July?  (If you're not in the United States, tell me anyway dammit!) I like keeping my options open.

Ok kids, going to call it a night. Have a great weekend and come back and tell me all about it on Tuesday!

Happy Birthday America!