*I've rewritten this from the original publication. Words may be slightly different, but the sentiment is still the same. Hope you enjoy it!
Holding hands we walk slowly to the front door,
in hopes of slowing down the clock, freezing time.
"Please don't let this moment end" my heart silently cries out.
We reach the front door, and just stare at each other
neither of us looking away or uttering a word. Our silence speaks volumes.
Reluctantly, I break the spell,
"I miss you already."
You hug me. I inhale your scent, your body, this moment.
My eyes well up with tears. You gently wipe them away with your hand. You kiss my mouth. Sweetly. Gently.
"Say it! Tell me you'll miss me! Tell me you love me too! Say it!" ---I am yelling this to you in my head.
But you don't.
There is nothing left to say.
You pull a strand of hair away from my face and you say, "Be good kid."
I want to hold on to you. I don't want you to open the door.
But I'm left standing there, alone. You smile at me one last time and walk out of my life.
Bittersweet.
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Part fiction, part true. A good mix of events that transpired. Trying to make it into a short story. What do you think? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...
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I long to be touched I yearn to feel Awaken this still heart of mine Steal my time with your kisses your desire you. Let consequenc...
16 comments:
That was very moving, and oh so sad. If I'm reading this correctly, it seems that the POV is from someone going through a breakup? At first I thought it was someone's SO going away on a business trip or similiat.
It speaks to how well-written this is that I can visualize the actions so vividly, though. The walk to the door, the lingering. So poignant and delicately captured!
I hate it that he doesn't say it. He should say it, why is it so easy to fall for people who don't return the sentiment?
So sad and deeply moving. My break-ups usually involved a lot of yelling.
Beautifully written as always Yvonne!
David - Yes you are correct. It's from the woman's perspective. She is saying goodbye to her lover. And yes, very sad, indeed. Wow, thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Alessandra- Me too. It sucks really. I've asked myself that same question over and over again but so far, not a clue.
Belle - lol yelling is good sometimes.
AG - Thank you mam! :)
Ok. This sucks. However, if he actually called you "kid" in a moment of deep emotion, I would have kicked his ass further down the curb.
You're a strong sexy woman...and where am I going with this?...well, nobody calls you "kid!"
Unfortunately, he DID call me kid on occasion. Totally agree, it sucks.
Wow, Yvonne. This is really powerful and well written. I love your poetry.
xoRobyn
wow what great words...you have a very engaging style
ay ay ay ay.
RR- thanks!!!
G - glad you like it!
Israel -ha! I expected nothing less from you! :)
Ooh...I totally recognize this moment. You've captured it utterly.
What a terrible moment that is, when your feelings are minimalized like that :(
Oh ouch, her (your?) poor heart.
You sprinkled just enough of the dialogue in this to convey sadness and hurt.
(I'm so sorry.)
Kathleen- glad you "got" it! :)
Angela- totally agree!
Galit- You were right, it was my heart that was hurt. No need to be sorry. It happened. I am stronger for it now. ;)
Ooooh - I wanted him to say it to you too!!
What a shame. Agree with other comments - if he calls you 'kid' he is not a keeper.
Great emotion portrayed here and great pace.
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