Life and Music

Last night I went to see Juanes in concert. He was performing in my fair city!  For those of you not familiar, Juanes is a Colombian artist.  His music is best described as pop/rock in Spanish, Latin pop, with a bit of  reggae fusion mixed in.  In certain circles, his name is as revered as Bono's or Bruce Springsteen's.  And, wait for it, he's totally hot!   So I go to this concert last night with a couple of my girlfriends.  We scored 5th row seats so I was over the moon excited about the evening.  And I was not disappointed!  It was a great show and I danced and sang and yelled to the point that this morning, I woke up to silence.  Meaning, I lost my voice!  My boss was none too happy!  Anyway, Juanes has this song titled, "It's Time To Change" or "Es Tiempo de Cambiar"  The lyrics are beautiful and speak of a world where we are better human beings, and there is peace and making amends.  It's quite motivating and inspiring, to say the least.  Driving home later that night, I thought about those lyrics and how they related to my life.  The message is always the same, "If you are not happy, change it so that you are."  Simple right?  Maybe, in a perfect world.  But alas, no one is perfect.  We all have flaws, specs that we try to hide from the world and sometimes, from ourselves.  I'll be the first to admit that lately, my positive, good-natured, optimistic self, has been a bit of a Debbie Downer.  It's not easy being Mary Sunshine all the time! I don't like when that happens. I try to keep Debbie out of my life as much as possible.  But every once in a while, she sneaks in.  The brat!    Silly that it takes listening to lyrics in a song to kind of jolt me back into reality.  A catharsis? Hmm, perhaps.  I know that I have goals to accomplish, both big and small.  I know that nothing worth having is ever easy, and I know that nothing will change if I don't follow-through or have faith in myself.  That's also difficult for me sometimes. I'm my own worst critic! I've set everything into motion and now it's just a matter of me continuing to work my ass off so I can reap the rewards!  And I will.  No one said life was easy.  Well, maybe someone said it, but they were obviously high or something! :) 
That's all I got tonight boys and girls! Thanks for dropping by, you're all the BEST!

It's Not Me, It's You!

How many times have we heard the age old line "It's not YOU it's ME!", "I'm the cause of all of our problems. I'm the one to blame for my (insert issue here)."  Yeah well, what if it really is you?  Let's face it, in the dating world, there are many, many, MANY, different ways to let someone down easy when you're just not interested in them.  I've always preferred the honest approach myself, but sometimes, the truth, well it just hurts! Imagine, it's like saying, "Eh, you're good, just not good enough for me!" or "I like you but I don't like you, like you.", or even, "I'm interested, just not in you.  I'm interested in your friend (insert name here)"  Now these excuses may all seem tactless and hard, but it' a cruel world we live in bloggers. And all those aforementioned "excuses/reasons" have all been said to ME, at one point or another in my life.  Yes it's true, I carry many a "war" wound on my heart.  Dating is a lot like gambling, you don't have a sure thing, you are risking losing everything but the rewards you reap if you hit the jackpot makes taking the risk worthwhile.  Don't you agree?  I was pondering this while driving in to work this morning.  It all started because I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of someone.  We never dated, we were "buddies", and I adored him. I often wonder what would have happened if we had dated or if he would have just let me know he was not interested and moving on, instead of just one day, disappearing like he did.  No one likes to to be the "bad guy", I get that.  But I believe it's better to be the "bad guy" and be upfront with someone, even if it hurts them just a little.  At least that way the person can go forward and not wonder or wait or start doubting him/her self.  What do you think?  What would you prefer? Being lied to? Being led on? or Being told the truth?  What's the worst/best excuse you've ever been given by a male/female when they were not interested in you?

Care to share?

An experiment, sweat and a hot guy -My Monday!

You know what I've noticed lately that really is bugging me?  No one says hello anymore or smiles anymore for that matter.  What's up with that?  I know not everyone has a sunny disposition or is in a good mood all the time, and yes I know that times are bad and everyone's got problems.  But good grief! Is it that bad that you can't muster up a "Good morning" or if you're the person being greeted, what's it going to hurt to reply?  Or acknowledge the greeting or the smile?  It doesn't take but a second.  So, in keeping with that same mind-set, today I decided to keep track of how many people acknowledged me or ignored me.  I started counting as soon as I walked out the front door.  My neighbor from across the street was pulling out of his driveway, he smiled and waved hello or goodbye -pick one.  Then when I parked in the garage at work, I walked in with 4 other people into the lobby.  No one held the door for each other, no one even looked at anyone else.  And EVERYONE ignored my, "Good morning!"  Whatever.  I continued on and at the end of the day, I tallied up, final count, 22 people acknowledged me and 41 ignored me.  I got more smiles than greetings and I noticed that no one wanted to look me in the eye. Well, except for maybe four people.  What a sad way to live.  I've been guilty of being too caught up in my own little world to not notice someone or realize they are speaking to me or greeting me or what have you, but the minute I do realize it, then I immediately respond.  Anyway, this was one of the things that was  on my mind earlier today.

Step class was great today! So much energy.  The instructed had some really cool music playing and kept us all hyped! I saw the cutest guy in the gym today too! And he held the door open for me! (swoon!)  We smiled and went about our business.  But something as minor as that, gets me smiling every time. Well that and the fact that he was totally hot!

Oh before I forget, since I've forgotten about a dozen times already! I wanted to say "Howdy!" to a few new followers. It seems I now have 55! Wow, I'm totally baffled and excited at this notion!  Welcome to my slightly crazed world! I'm like a roller coaster, up, down, and lots of fun!  So fasten your seat-belts!  ---Did I really just write that? Pfft! I'm tired. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Well kids, that's it for now.  Tune in tomorrow!

Sunday Wrap-Up

"Aloha Mr. Hand!" --I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High over the weekend. I love this movie! That line and "The lady will have the linguini with clam sauce and a Coke, no ice." are just two of my favorite lines from that  movie.   Sometimes, movies like this are necessary.  We should all take a break from the rat race, the chaos, that is our lives,  from time to time. 

Hello bloggers! How was everyone's weekend?  Good I hope! So in continuing with my ongoing quest of creating a better version of myself, I worked out on Friday night.  That's right, I admit it. I didn't go out, I didn't meet anyone for drinks, I didn't call anyone to ask them where they were.  No, I took myself to the land of the "sweat" and spent an hour and a half beating up on a punching bag (lots of aggression to get rid of!), climbing the stairs and lifting the weights!  It was a great work-out and I was exhausted and not to mention, drenched in sweat by the time I headed to my car.  The remainder of my evening was spent relaxing at home with candles and music and a nice glass of wine. Some of you reading this may think it's boring or lame or that I'm showing my age (shudder the thought!) and perhaps I am all of those things.  Regardless, it was needed and felt really good to do! So I vote, success!

Saturday my five-year old nephew had his first tee-ball game ever! Ethan is my sister's little boy.  He is a spunky, intelligent and adorable little boy.  He played short-stop. The game was instense and hilarious at the same time.  Those little munchkins are so cute to watch!  Something else I noticed, the parents  can become quite vocal and at times act like the fate of the world lies on the winning run! Serious! They don't mess around!  I'm happy to report that Ethan's team won 16-10.  Ethan got two base hits and showed us that he  knows how to slide into home plate! :)  My evening consited of adult beverages, girl talk with the Musketeers and lots of laughs.  I love those girls to pieces!


And so here I am, Sunday evening.  This post is a bit, dare I say it, boring, I know.  I have tons of thoughts swirling in my head but I have  issues that need my attention and so, this is all you get for now.  Hopefully, this new week will be a much better one for me.

Ok bloggers, you know the drill.  Monday's on deck, hit it out of the ballpark!

Aches, Pains and Kicking Ass -Oh My!

Working out in my twenties and thirties, piece of cake! Working out in my forties -piece of pain in the ass!  O.M.G. every day I find something new that hurts on my body or cracks -screaming for me to stop the madness! Ha! Not a chance! It's my fault that my body is in denial and refuses to cooperate with my new found obsession with exercise and nutrition.  I let this happen.  No, not middle age like some of my so called friends have alluded to.  Shut-up. No, what I'm talking about is that I ate poorly and didn't exercise and now, now I'm paying the price. The good thing is, the pain will eventually go away as my body and mind adjust to the work-out regimen and the new eating habits.  Every day is a struggle for me on both counts, but I do it.  I set goals for myself and while at times, fall off the horse, I get  back up and keep going forward.  I have to.  It's not just the fact that I want to look hotter than I already do (I know, impossible right???)  It's also the fact that I am battling all kinds of health risks and issues that drives. me and keeps me motivated to succeed in my quest.  I'm also inspired by friends and sometimes complete strangers' stories of success.  Three people in particular that come to mind are as follows:

My  personal trainer, Carla.  She lost a little over 100 lbs.  I most associate myself with her because our backgrounds are very similar and at times, uncanny how similar we really are! We call each other "sisters from another mister".  She motivates me daily and keeps me in check.  She's one of the most dedicated and structured (at least in working out and eating right) person I've ever met.

The second person that keeps me motivated is my friend Mel.  She's lost almost 80 lbs since September.  I recently saw her for the first time in 6 months and didn't recognize her. In fact, I walked right past her! She looks A-MAZING!  Her drive and her dedication to keep going no matter what, encourages me. 

The third person is someone I just "met" in the blogosphere of ours.  He's a fellow blogger and if you get a chance, I'd encourage you to check him out at: davidjbatista@blogspot.com   I stumbled across one of his particular posts dealing with health issues, working-out and nutrition.  What I learned most about reading that post is that nothing is ever impossible if you have the will and the determination and heart to change your life.  And that's just what he did, by sheer will, and self-discipline.  His motivation sprang my mind to action.

I know that I have a long road ahead of me.  I also know that I am my own worst enemy and will try and sabotage my own success because that's what I'm used to doing. Or rather, that's what I WAS used to doing.  This time, there is much more to lose and quite frankly, I don't like losing all that much.

Hopefully, step class won't kill me today.  I've mentioned in older posts how I have a tendency to be a bit of a klutz right? Well, in yesterday's class, I was so busy kicking and stepping that my "stepper" slid across the floor and hit another workout-ee!  I was so embarrassed and couldn't stop laughing.  The girl my stepper bumped into wasn't hurt, she laughed it off as well.  I'm telling you, my name should have been Lucille Miguelicutti Ricardo!

And on that note, I'm headed back to the little room "Insanity", otherwise known as  my office.
 

Forgiveness...

When you love someone
and they hurt you
forgiveness is not the first thought to come to mind.
But someone has to be the bigger person.  And family is family after all.  And life is just too short to harbor ill feelings and resentment.  Not to mention it's exhausting staying angry at someone!
So I search my heart and find your "Get out of jail" card.
You are forgiven and I love you.

Teeter Tottering of Life

It's all about balance. That's the conclusion I've come to in my quest to create a "better version of myself" What I mean by that is, all of this time I've been juggling everything all at once.  Trying to do it all and not stopping to concentrate on the areas of my life that needed the most concentrating.  No, instead I focused on the whole picture, trying to do it all.  In the process, I lost myself again.  I became too involved in trying to "fix" everyone and everything else.  This behavior is cyclical with me.  It's a problem. I need to stay focused and strive for improvement on me, and nothing or no one else.  And as harsh or selfish as that sounds, it is what it is.  If I don't do this, who will?  Nobody that's who.  And whoever got ahead being a "nobody"?  What I've learned thus far, is that the problems, the worries, the anxieties, the D-rama, is all going to be there whenever I finally get to it.  The world won't fall apart (not any more than it's already falling apart) and life will go on.  My family, my friends, they will be fine.  I have got to learn to practice what I preach.  I believe everyone is capable of balance. Whether it be of your life or your job or your relationships, whatever it is, everyone is capable.  Even me.  My goal now is to learn how to find that in my life. Balance. Hmm, considering I fell off the pommel horse FIVE times in high school while in gym class, and considering that I am always losing my balance, even when I'm totally sober, this new idea of mine is not going to be easy! Is it doable? I totally believe that it is.  Will I stick to it? I'm going to give my best shot.  That's all I can do.  I find it ironic that I was born in October, thus making me a Libra.  You know, the whole scales thing?   And here I am now, trying to find balance.  Coinky dink? I think not! 

In other news, today was a great day! My dad came back from his self-imposed sabbatical to Nicaragua.  We saw him yesterday.  He marveled us with his many stories and escapades from his motherland.  He looks good, well rested and happy to be home.  That was yesterday, today, my siblings (sans one) and their kiddos all came over in the afternoon.  We hung out and spent much needed "family" time with each other.  I have a four month old nephew that I have fallen in love with.  He is so cute! And he's all chubby-kins and rolly poly! I held him hostage in my arms, most of the afternoon.  So tonight, I got a phone call from my sister, she informed me that Ethan (my five year old nephew) was not too happy with me. When I asked her why, she said that he didn't like that I held "Zachary" so long.  He wanted to know why I didn't hold him like that??? HA!  Cute, my nephews are biding for my attention and one of them isn't even old enough to realize it.

Ok kids, it's that time again.  Sunday is quickly disappearing and I see Monday on the horizon.  Make it a great one!

I thought of you today...

*I've rewritten this from the original publication.  Words may be slightly different, but the sentiment is still the same.  Hope you enjoy it!

Holding hands we walk slowly to the front door,
in hopes of slowing down the clock, freezing time.

"Please don't let this moment end" my heart silently cries out.

We reach the front door, and just stare at each other
neither of us looking away or uttering a word.  Our silence speaks volumes.
Reluctantly, I break the spell,

"I miss you already."

You hug me. I inhale your scent, your body, this moment.
My eyes well up with tears. You gently wipe them away with your hand. You kiss my mouth. Sweetly. Gently.

"Say it! Tell me you'll miss me! Tell me you love me too! Say it!" ---I am yelling this to you in  my head. 

But you don't. 

There is nothing left to say.

You pull a strand of hair away from my face and you say, "Be good kid."
I want to hold on to you. I don't want you to open the door.

But I'm left standing there, alone. You smile at me one last time and walk out of my life.

Bittersweet.

Awake

As far as St. Patrick's Day celebrating, this one will go down as my tamest one ever!  Instead of joining my friends for a night of debauchery and spirits, what do I do? I go to the gym.  That's right, I partied like a rock star by working up a sweat. But not by dancing to blaring music or standing outside in the humidity, while trying to look cute, or engaging in wild sex with a hot guy, no, my sweat came from doing sprints on the treadmill and kickboxing class.  Jealous aren't you?  I thought so.  I was surprised to see that  I was not alone.  The place was packed, I guess green beer and crowded bars and obnoxious drunks did not appeal to them either.  This is the first year I didn't go out and celebrate.  Meh, I just wasn't feeling it.  When I was done working out, I checked my phone and had several text messages and missed calls.  All from friends wanting to know where I was! Hilarious!  One of my friends' text read:  "Quit being so lame and get your ass over here!" and then, because I didn't respond, I got another one that read" "Seriously? You're working out? WTF? Why are you acting like you're 100 years old!?"  Silly kids! 

Moving on. 

On a much happier note, I totally caught a guy checking me out at Target last Saturday.  He wasn't subtle about it either.  Normally, I don't pay much attention, but maybe it was because I had just come from getting my hair and toes did that I felt extra sassy, extra sexy.  I dunno.  But him checking me out and me letting him know that I knew he was checking me out, was a good feeling!  It was the hottest non-verbal conversation I've had in a long time!

All's quiet on the "Dating Front" --surprise, surprise.   Actually, I had a conversation with one of my guy friends a few days ago.  He's currently in post "calling off a wedding" mode.  We were discussing how dating nowadays is so complicated and full of rules and tweets and FB statuses. It's a wonder anyone has a normal verbal conversation at all!  Since he's still traumatized from his split with his now ex-fiance, I focused the conversation on me.  -I know, how generous right?  I told him I was done with dating and was pretty much giving up on looking for anyone.  I was just going to focus on making myself happy.  Or trying to anyway.  No more set-ups, no more blind dates, no more online dating sites.  Done.  I'm done.  He called me bitter.  I said, "Pot.Kettle.Black" and he nodded in agreement.  I'm not bitter.  There's no reason for me to be.  I'm just tired of the same thing over and over.  I'm tired of trying to find something that eludes me, eludes my life.  So, I'm becoming my own boyfriend.  My own date. My own best friend.  Sound crazy? Eh, maybe.  But if you think about it, it's really not.  I've spent the majority of my life trying to please everyone else but me.  I've made some really, really, stupid mistakes and choices I'm not proud of.  But all of that, I can't undo.  I can only go forward. More than ever, I am cognizant of the fact that life is short and over in a bash of an eyelash.  I don't want this to come off as "Pollyanna-ish" because I'm anything but that.  However, there is some truth to positive thinking and positive energy and being proactive instead of reactive.  Which is one of the reasons I am working out so much these days.  Sure, I have goals to lose weight  and get fit, but by me doing this and spending large amounts of time at the gym, I'm kind of filling a void.  Right or wrong, it seems to be working for me.  Time will tell.  So my conversation with my friend ended by him telling me that I should never accept anyone just for the sake of having someone (duh!) and that more than anything, I should do what makes me happy because in the end, that's all that matters.  And that's just what I'm going to do.

What about you?
   

A Little Bit of Nothin'

Been kind of quiet this week. Not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because I'm too tired to blog by the time I get home and settled in.  Or maybe it's because I've been working on my novel.  Or, it could be simply that I've got nothing blog-worthy to say.  Yeah that's probably it.  Or not.  See? My mind can't even make up it's mind! 

I think I'll put this post out of it's misery before I do any more damage.  I'll be back tomorrow, or actually, in a few hours and post something edible for your mind.  I promise!

Spring forward!

I absolutely LOVE this time of year!  What time of year is that, you ask?  Well let me tell you!  It's the time of year when the days become longer and we bid farewell to the dreary and depressing early darkness.  Today we sprang forward and even though we lose an hour of sleep, (who needs it anyway?)  you can probably denote from me, I'm all twitterpatted about the time change!  Yeah I know, I'm simple like that, it doesn't take much to make me happy these days.

Happy.  It seems that that is going around a lot in my neck of the woods lately.  Friends being happy.  Siblings being happy.  Maybe it will find it's way to me as well! Stranger things have happened.  But where was I?  Oh yeah, the happies.  So my good friend *Gustabo FINALLY met someone that he is excited about and has managed to bring out the "giddy" in him! You know it's serious when he sends me a picture of what he's planning to wear on his date with her Saturday night and asks me if it looks alright.  Bahahaha! I love him dearly, but I gave him grief for that!  What? He would have and has done the same to me!  Yes, yes, I've taken pictures myself in various outfits and sent to him in a tizzy, freaking out about what to wear on my dates and asking him if I looked alright. (Well, back in the stone age, when I had dates.)  We're like each others Stacy London and Clinton Kelly.  Except, *Gustabo isn't gay.  Not that I know that Clinton is gay, I'm just saying!  All kidding aside though, I'm really excited to see him excited about someone.  I hope it all goes well for them!  In other news, got to spend some quality time with one of my siblings today.  It was fun.  I adore the sib!  Ok I adore all of them but this one is kinda my fave. Shhh, don't tell the other two! Well bloggers, I'm going to make this post short and sweet (like me! muahahahaha) tonight. 

Monday's up to bat, make sure you hit it out of the ball park!

Te Recuerdo (I Remember You)

*Sometimers words get lost in translation.  I really like this piece I wrote but I feel I am not doing it justice in the translation.  Some things, some words, just weren't meant to be spoken in another language.  I hope you like it anyway*

Hoy, precisamente hoy,
Pienso en ti.
Recuerdos de noches y amadrugadas
amandonos, se vienen todos a la vez
a mi mente

Vives en mis suenos
solo ahi te siento mio, solo ahi existimos
Has sido el error mas dulce de mi vida
y nunca te olvidare.

Hoy, precisamente hoy,
me sonrio  y suspiro hasta el fondo de mi ser,
al recordarte.
_____________________________________________________
Today, precisely today,
I think of you.
Memories of late nights and early mornings
loving each other,  come at me all at once

You live in my dreams
Only there do we exist, only there are you mine

You are the sweetest mistake of my life
and I'll never forget you.

Today, precisely today,
I smile and sigh deeply,
And I remember you.

Stuck on Happy

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it! If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" Remember that little childhood jingle?  I used to love singing that song when I was little.  I have a question for you. Is it possible to feel happy all.of.the.time??? Seriously?  I have a friend who puts daily statuses on his Facebook page.  They are always motivational, upbeat, very positive statuses.  And I like that. But my friend has a tendency to never get mad.  Ever.  He'll always tell me not to worry about little things and when I'm hyperventilating about my job or my latest dating fiasco, or my family,  he tells me not to worry about it.  Just like that.  As if it was that simple.  He says that being positive and happy is where it's at.  Yeah, I believe in that but only to a point.  I mean, we're humans, not robots.  Human emotion is normal.  Continuously being in that "Mary Poppins" mode, is not.  At least, not to me.  There are days I am out of this world happy and there are days I'm so angry I can spit fire or days I'm so sad I can't get out of bed.  To me, that is normal.  I've had many a discussion with him about this.  I told him that I think he's masking his emotions by pretending that everything is fine.  Don't get me wrong, his life is really not that complicated and he doesn't have a lot to worry about.  But he is like that even in his everyday life.  He tells me that being angry is a waste of time and energy.  I totally agree, however, sometimes, letting out that inner monster, is necessary for growth and for better understanding and simply, for release of emotions.  The whole reason I bring this up is because yesterday as I was driving to the gym, I had a bit of a melt-down.  I won't go into the reasons why, because they are not even worth mentioning but at the time, my world was falling apart.  So I called my friend to cry on his shoulder.  (ok, you know I'm speaking figuratively since I was driving at the time)  He seemed disinterested and kind of cold.  And then he said I needed to get over it and focus on something positive.  Which struck a nerve with me because I was looking  for just a little sympathy or at the very least, an "It'll be okay, don't worry." from him.  Again, I've been on that end, where I give that exact same line he gave me, to a friend.  But normally, the situation warrants that kind of response.  Maybe I'm just being a girl and took things too personal yesterday. Meh, I don't think so.  Still, the questions remain, "Is it possible to feel happy all the time?" "Is that normal?

Talk to me.

Wednesday -Done!

Today is Ash Wednesday, so during my lunch hour I went to church to get my ashes.  Good grief! It was super crowded! I was expecting a little crowded but nothing like "standing-room only crowded".  Which it turned out to be.  This year I want to be a better Catholic than I have been.  So I gave up a couple of things but I also decided to start doing a couple of other things as well.  Lent is not just about giving something up.  But I don't want this to turn into a religious post so I'll just continue with my day, cool? Today was a good day.  Work was hectic and stressful, same old stuff.  I went to the gym afterwards to "de-stress", and during Kwando class, I learned that my "right" is everyone else's "left".  -I'm left-handed, that used to be my excuse for going the opposite direction as everyone else.  Now I think it's just my quirkiness and attention-span disorder.  heh.  I came home, showered the sweat away, worked on my story a bit, visited some blogs and here I am, about to call it a night.  I need my beauty sleep.  It ain't easy being this beautiful!  What? Stop laughing! What's so funny? 

Sweet dreams bloggers!

This Dating Life...

I read an interesting article today, (courtesy of one of the Musketeers, Maricela)  For those that are new to this blog, I have two very close friends in my life that I named, "The Musketeers" -there are three of us you see.  One is named Michelle and the other is named Maricela, oh and then there's me.  But you knew that. Got it? Ok, I'll continue.  So anyway,  the article I read was about the benefits of being single.  Basically, to be grateful for your life and for all the things you can do while you're not in a relationship or dating.  The writer listed activities that we as single people, are able to experience and explore.  She didn't write anything that I didn't agree with.  In fact, I was all too familiar with what she was saying.  There was one line that struck a chord with me.  I don't have the exact phrase but it said something to the effect of "even people in a relationship can be lonely."  And I know this to be so true.  Not by experience, but just by watching some of my friends or acquaintances, or strangers even, who are in  relationships either by marriage or just dating.  I listen to some of their stories about always being alone even when they are not.  Or I hear about the fighting, the lying, the jealous outbursts.  Listening to stuff like that makes me sad and actually, kind of relieved I'm alone.  But that only lasts for a little while.  Because then the case of the "lonelies" take over and my heart craves.  

The rest of the article encouraged you to make a list of  what your benefits to being single are and why you should embrace them.  Here is a small list of some of my benefits, in no particular order:

1.  I don't have to answer to anyone but myself.
2.  I don't have to cook for anyone, including myself, if I don't want to.
3.  I can take trips at a moments notice.
4.  I can walk around my apartment butt-naked if I wanted to.
5.  I have the entire Sunday paper to myself. (If you know me, you know this is very important!)
6.  No one is around to try and grab the remote from me.
7.  I have the entire bed to myself. (though, that can get old sometimes)
8.  I can get seated quicker, if it's "table for one" versus "table for two".

And there you have it.  Those are some of my "benefits" to being single.  Sure, there are some married people reading this who may be thinking, "You have it made!"  but really, "The grass is always greener" mentality works both ways.  Those who are single, want what those that are in a relationship have and vice versa.  At least, that's what I'm thinking.

What about you? Care to chime in?

Go Hard or Go Home!

Happy Monday everyone! Yes I know it's already over or almost over.  It's still got at least an hour to go!  So, how is everyone?  Good? Great!  So the title of my blog, it's a positive re-enforcement or saying that my personal trainer used to tell me to pump me up while we were working out.  Ha, what'd you think it meant???   I started a "new and improved" step class today.  I was curious to find out what made it so new and improved.  Clearly, it was just a false build-up.  The class is still exactly the same, the only thing that is different is there is a new instructor.  I think in another life he was an attack dog or something.  Good lord! He was relentless! I've done step aerobics before but this was was more intense and more challenging (which is good), and I thought I was going to pass out!  -Not really, but I really didn't think I was going to make it through to the end of the class. I'm happy to inform, that I finished it! I was drenched in sweat, but I did it. And then, because I have masochistic tendencies, I did a half hour on the Elliptical, just for kicks.  Thus began my journey to a leaner sexier version of myself.  Don't get me wrong, I've been working out for awhile now, but I've stepped it up with my diet and as you read, my exercising.  I'm all about the healthy from now on.  I'll post about it from time to time and give you progress reports because I know how much you will be wanting to know.  At the gym where I work-out, there is an Erotic dance class that is offered once a week.  I inquired about it today because I'm curious and because they claim it burns TONS of calories. I really want to try it.  I know mostly, I'll laugh my ass off  though!  So anyway, my first class is Thursday.  It's an hour long class, no men, just women.  The instructor told me to wear comfortable clothes -as opposed to my work-out attire I suppose?  And she said to be ready with a name for my alter-ego.  Ha, this is going to be hilarious!  Just so you know, I do have an alter-ego (doesn't everyone?), she's got a name, and she comes out every once in a while. 

I'm tired.  I think I'll stop babbling now and go give my pillow some head.  heh.

Sleep well my friends!

Picture Perfect

Today was a beautiful day! It was the type of day that you wish you could fold up and put in your pocket for safe-keeping.  The skies were clear and blue and the sun was shinning brightly.  The winds were kind of strong (great for kite-flying)  but it didn't take away from the beauty of the day.  And there was no humidity whatsoever! This was HUGE in my world! Helloooo? Have you seen my hair???  So me and my awesome hair ventured out for the day.  I don't know about the rest of you but if I'm having a good hair day and wearing a cute outfit, I feel fabulous! As if I can do anything!  Does that happen to you? No? It's just me?  Figures.  :)

I spent the majority of my day window-shopping and people watching.  I've mentioned before how I love to sit and watch people and wonder about them.  I'll even make up stories about them in my head. Or if I'm really into it, I'll jot it down in my notebook.  Sometimes I'll go back to the notebook and look at what I've written, sometimes, I'll use it as material for my stories or sometimes I'll just trash it.  Lame, I know.  Lets see, what else did I do?  Oh yeah, I explored a new bookstore that I found by accident.  I was driving around looking for a parking space of all things, when I spotted it. It was very "mom and pop", a very quaint place.  I even found a few first editions that I had been looking for.  That was a major plus!  Later that afternoon, I went to church.  I'd not been in a few weeks. No particular reason for my absence, just didn't go.  It never fails though, I can be away from church for months at a time, but as soon as I step inside, I feel as if I've come home. I feel an overpowering sense of peace take over.  I love that!  The sermon was surprisingly interesting and kept my attention.  -No easy feat by any means!  Afterwards, I met my friend *Gustabo for dinner. We chose a place with an outdoor patio and killer margaritas.  Win-win!  Or should I say, "Winning" tehehe.  We had the most palatable conversation during dinner, sprinkled with bouts of incessant laughter.   We even watched the sun set as he walked me back to my car.  It was breathtaking! Hugging each other good bye, I realized again, how fortunate I am to have such good friends and positive influences in my life.  Everyone needs that.  Today was a good day.

So that's it kids.  Nothing major, nothing mind boggling (well, except my hair). Everyone have a good week, or else! :)

A Daydream Journey

**I found this in my "archives" of poetry.  It's kinda sucky, but I kinda like it.  Maybe you will too!

Take me away
to that place that only you and I know exists.
Where the sky is an ever changing shade of blue
Where the air is intoxicating, invigorating, potent.

Take me away
to the little corner of our world where the only noise we hear is the beat of our hearts
Guide me to that place called Ecstasy...
Let us make love until the morning comes and then again until night falls.
I want to be with you in that little corner of the world for eternity.
Dancing to the sound of the waves...

Take me away on that journey...
You smile at me and kiss my mouth
Ahh, for you see, the journey is only beginning...

Muse

The greatest artists have had them.  Painters, musicians, writers.  What am I talking about? I'm talking about a "muse" -someone or something that inspires you.  Moves you to create, to give it life.  My muse? I have several.  There is one person specifically, that I have for love.  He is the one that inspires all of my almost x-rated thoughts and words and stories.  Sigh, yep. He does it for me.  And then I have others for life stories and anecdotes, experiences.  The reason I bring this up is because on a radio show this morning, they were talking about what it must be like to go through life without experiencing "inspiration".  The radio guy was saying that it's impossible to live your life without anything to aspire to or without anyone or anything to inspire you to be a better person or have a better life or whatever it is that you want.  One caller, a woman who said she was in her 20's, said that she didn't need a muse.  That she inspired herself, every day.  That got me thinking (I know, scary isn't it?)  if that was possible. What do you think? Another caller, a man in his 30's, said that everyone needs something to hope for thus, everyone needs their own muse.  Do you agree?  I'm kind of torn.  I like and agree with the first caller because I believe we can inspire ourselves.  But I also agree with the second caller because I believe sometimes we need a little help.  For me, sometimes my inspiration comes in the form of a sunset or a full moon or the ocean waves, crashing on the sand.  Do you agree that Muse and Inspiration are the same?  Or do you think they are different?  Hmm, this is what is in my head at a quarter to midnight on a Thursday. 

If you made it this far, yay! You get a prize! Not really.  Sorry.  lol

"Shall We Play A Game?"

Years ago when the movie War Games came out, I was crazy about Matthew Broderick, who starred in the movie.  I hope at least some of you, got the  title reference, if you didn't, it's okay, google it! lol 

Lets move on mmmkay?  I think that picture is so pretty! I love sunflowers! Thank you Israel Carrasco from Monologues Jokes for tagging me on this little factoid.  Please check out his blog if you haven't already, he's quite funny and you won't be disappointed.     

Ready, set, go?

The rules are as follows......

* Copy and paste this award to your blog

* Thank and link to the person that tagged you with it.

* List 7 facts about yourself

* Give the award to 5 other bloggers and tell them they have won

Facts/Confessions:

1- I drink coke like water.  I need intervention.  Kinda. I'm currently working on cutting it out altogher.

2- I used to play the flute in the 6th and 7th grade, then I stopped.

3- I love to take walks on the beach.

4- I'm claustophobic.

5- My friend and I once stalked followed Hall and Oates after a concert and she almost ran Daryl Hall over with her car because she got so excited when he got off the tour bus, she hit the accelerator instead of the brake.  Good thing he had quick reflexes.  Needless to say, we were escorted off the property. lol *ok, so some of you( a lot of you) may not know who Hall and Oates is. They were the equivilant of modern day bubble gum band.  Think, NKOTB.

6- My favorite all time favorite group ever, is Chicago.  I love, love, love them. I especially like their horn section and Bobby Lamb and Peter Cetera (vintage Chicago).  I'll never tire of seeing them, or listening to their music. 

7- I wanted to be a journalist when I was in college.  I interned for one of the local newspapers here in Houston and then changed my mind.  I got an English degree instead.

In echoing Israel's sentiment ---- "I love you all but I can only choose 5 in no order:"

The following are fellow bloggers I picked randomly as I state above.  If you have some time, check out their blogs, you wont' be disappointed!

1- Frisky Virgin
2- Mynx
3-Jess from Ramblings of an Emotional Idiot
4. Sunny Dee
5. David Batista

Now you know a little bit more about me.  Hmm, don't know if that's good or bad.  Thanks for playing!

A Heavy Heart

A minute of your time?  There's something on my mind I'd like to share.  Ready?  When I originally started this blog in 2007, I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted to find an outlet for my writing.  To give my words a voice, if you will.  I wrote for a little while but then gave up on the idea.  In August of 2010, I decided to give this blog another try and so I returned.  At the time, I was going through a lot of major changes in my life and  was in emotional distress.  I sat down in front of my computer on August 1st and began to write.  And I continued to write almost daily for the rest of the year.  I found it to be comforting and a form of release from my crazy life, my rollercoaster ride of emotions.  This blog was created to showcase some of my work and to give you, the readers, a voyeuristic view.  Because in essence, that's what this blog is, an extension of me.  I just never gave much thought to the repercussions of what being such an "open book" could bring.  And because of that, I've hurt someone I love, very much.  The thing is, once I get going with the blog, I totally let loose. I totally become absorbed and can't type fast enough, to get the words down.  I'm a storyteller, it's what I do.  Even with own life.  I write about what happens to me and to those around me, in the form of a story.  It was never  my intention to hurt anyone.  So now, I'm sad and have a heavy heart, because I don't know how to fix this.  Really, I'm at a loss.  But I'm also torn.  As a writer, I believe with my whole heart and soul that any form of censorship is wrong.  Yet, because of something that I wrote, I've had to succumb to this "censorship" that I speak of, and remove certain posts.  It was my peace offering to the person that I hurt. My olive branch.  But it's too late.  The damage is done.  I'm upset at myself for being so naive and not realizing what could happen as a result of sharing my life with the world.  And I'm upset because I feel that I was forced into taking something down that I wrote.  I don't like being forced into anything.  I hate when I don't know how to fix things.  That's what I do, I "fix" things, build you up, make you feel better.  But in this instance, I can't.  This blog has been my refuge and my salvation.  I'm in my element when I come here.  I don't want to walk on eggshells for anyone, I don't even do it for myself.  I don't want to suddenly, be afraid to write whatever comes to mind.  I don't want this to become  "work". Not this.  So this is where I am now.  Torn.  Well, that's where I was earlier today.  Tonight, I'm in a slightly better mood and mindset.  To the person that I hurt, I am very sorry and you know this.  To the people that have nothing better to do than to belittle others in order to make themselves feel better, do what you gotta do. I will not waste any more energy or time on you.  And to my bloggie friends, thanks for indulging me.  You're all the best!

I finally know what "eating humble pie" means.  It's not bad, not bad at all.

Spring Fever

I've got it and want to be outside. Instead, I'm confined to these dreary, hospital-white walls in my office.  Jealous?  I've got a rant brewing in my head and it's weighing heavily on my chest.  Anxiety sucks.
As soon as I have time to organize these thoughts of mine into some semblance of order, I'll post my angst.

Until then, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars! heh.  Casey Kasem, gotta love him!