Games People Play: The Dating Woes

Since I am not allowed to speak because of the bronchitis issue, my mind is doing all the talking for me.  Be afraid bloggies, be very afraid...

On my mind tonight? Meh, besides a million other things?  The matter of dating of course. Why do men play games with us? Why do we play games with them?  Mind games.  That's what I'm talking about.  Mind games.  You know what I'm referring to right?  Sure you do.  Who among us (both sexes) can deny it?

First scenario: A guy is interested in a girl, he asks her out, they go out and have a seemingly great time.  Guy promises to call.  Girl never hears from him again.  

Second scenario:  Guy and girl go out on a first date, have a blast, exchange numbers and then mull over whether or not one should call the other.  This mulling over lasts for a couple of days, each person thinking that the other should/will call if he/she is really interested.  All the while, no one is getting called and both people are talking to their very understanding friends who, not surprisingly, hate the girl/guy for being such a douche/bitch to their friend.  

Third scenario-  Guy woos girl, calls when he says he's going to call, makes her laugh, seems caring and more importantly, seems interested in her.  In a nutshell, he gets her hooked, only to play the Houdini act as soon as she takes the bait.  And when said girl calls said boy to ask what's going on, the boy acts like a total ass.  

Why? Why do they do that? Why do we do that?  If we were in our twenties, fresh out of college or even in high school, then maybe this behavior would be more accepting to me but we're not.  I'm not. I'm older and somewhat wiser -no comments from the peanut gallery.  and I know what I want.  I know men who also feel the same way.  And yet, these games are still getting played.  I get the thrill of the chase for the men and the act of being wooed for the women, but when is enough, enough?  Why does going on a date nowadays have to be so complicated? Down to what you should/should not say or wear or talk about.  Ugh,  next time someone just hand me a script mmkay?

For me, as a woman over forty, dating in this day and age, is a nightmare.  Truly, it is.   I have had some nice dates and some promising ones too, but for the most part, my dates have been one or all of the above scenarios and worse.  For my long time followers, you will agree with me because you have read some of those horror stories in this very blog.

Last weekend I was with a group of friends, men and women.  Over some wine and really cool guitar sounds in the background, the discussion of dating and games came up.  The men said that women like when they play games and sometimes, revel in it.  Revel? Seriously?  And then the women chimed in and said that we hate when they play games.  We went round and round with this and after several 4 bottles of wine, couldn't come up with a good reason as to why this is continuing to happen.

Can you?

sick and tired of being sick and tired...

i'm sick.  and whiney.  and irritable.  and whiney.  eh, you get the picture.  after suffering for three or four days with wheezing, watery and itchy eyes, chills and coughing, i finally went to the doctor who informed me that i have a mild case of bronchitis.  seriously?  i took the prescriptions (yes more than one, three to be exact) from him and went on my merry way.  i almost escaped too, except he caught up to me before i left his office.  "you need to rest.  no talking (only if absolutely necessary)  and plenty of liquids"
i vaguely remember him walking me to the front and me getting onto the elevator.  i was still at the "no talking"  part.

yeah, such has been my life the past week.  i have been confined to the walls of my house and that's pretty much it.  i've never had bronchitis before, have you?  let me tell you something, it kicks you in the ass and leaves you crying on the floor.  literally.  i have never felt so tired or out of breath and listless in all of my life.  ever.  even as much as i want to pretend that i'm feeling better or try and convince my body that i am, i can't.  there's no fooling that bronchitis bitch.  yeah i decided it's a woman.  has to be.  and so, i have all of this time on my hands.  technically, i'm not even supposed to be on the laptop, i'm supposed to just be in bed, resting.  but come on, how much resting can i do??? i'm going a bit batty.  anyway, i just wanted share my misery with you.  you're welcome.

what's up everybody?  i know i'm about a week and half late but, how was everyone's easter sunday?  i for one had a blast with the family.  our day consisted of swimming, massive easter egg hunt with tons of little munchkins running around,  serious ring toss and volleyball games and lots of food and maybe even libations.  good times for sure.

i'll tell you what wasn't a "good" time though, my church time.  now, i'm not one to judge about anyone's beliefs or non-beliefs.  you worship at your own will, that's fine by me.  what i have a problem with is total disregard for respect in the house of worship. whether it be catholic, pentecostal, baptist, or even if you're agnostic.  respect your surroundings and respect the people around you.  why is this so hard to do?

ok so what happened is that i was about 5 minutes late to mass.  i am catholic so it was a catholic service that i attended.  the church was already full and rather than disrupt what was already going on, i decided to stand in the back.  i stood in front of a group of girls who were no older than 15 or 16 years old.  i was listening to the priest when suddenly i hear laughter and girls talking.  i know it's the little group behind me but i continue to listen to what's going on in front of me and hope the annoying girls will just shut up.  well, the talking grows louder and then i hear one of them drop the "f" bomb not once, not twice but three times in the span of a second.  i turned my head so fast i thought i broke it off.  i gave them an angry glare and told them to 'please be quiet" but i was livid.  i felt offended and just pissed off really.  by no means am i this goody two shoes or "holier than thou" bible thumper.  far from that, however, i would never, ever , ever curse in a place of worship. whether i am a believer or not.  it made me  sick.  one of the ushers also heard the girls and asked them to take their conversation outside.  do you know that the girls started arguing with the usher?  at that point, i moved to the other side and started praying to God to hold my tongue, because i was about to go off on them. and not in a nice, catholic girl kind of way either.  the rest of the service was fine, i don't even know what happened to those girls but what they did really bothered me. it still does.  a few years ago, two friends of mine got married in galveston, in a breathtaking, greek orthodox church.  some of the guests (also friends of mine) were laughing, telling dirty jokes and just having a good ol' time during the service.  now, i am not a greek orthodox but i was offended then too.  i mean, where is the decorum? and these jesters were adults so what was their excuse?   i do tend to get all pumped up about matters that are important to me.  i guess it is my upbringing. for me, going to church is sacred.  it's the house of God and should be respected, whether you worship there or not.  just as you would respect the house of peter, paul or mary or even joe blow.  i was always taught to respect my elders, be kind to others and respect the church.  does that make me weird? old?  uptight?  no, i don't think it does at all.  i really just think that some kids today have no inkling as to what respect really means.

alirght, i'm off of my soapbox.  i just wanted to vent a little.  and the world goes on...

ps-y'all better pray i get better soon, or you're more likely to see more random posts like this one :)

this and that

the month is eight days old.  how's it  going for you so far?  when last we met, i was excitedly waiting for the start of baseball but more specifically, the astros baseball season.  despite recent losses, i'm still relishing that they were able to beat the ny yankees not once, but twice in the home opening series.  that's enough to make me happy, don't you think?  as far as home openers go, this one did not disappoint.  there was the usual high energy buzz in the air, prior to the start of the game.  heck, well before the doors to the stadium even opened.  the usual staples were ever present again, such as the street festival that takes place within a three block radius, right in front of minute maid park.  fans of all ages listening to live music, getting their faces painted, taking pictures, talking baseball, eating peanuts, cracker jacks and hot dogs, of course. and what's a ballgame or any sporting event really, without a little friendly trash-talking with the opposing team's fans?yankees fans were out in full force but  no worries, it was all done in fun and no one was out of line.  there were a few obnoxious ones inside the stadium but they were outnumbered and quickly grew quiet.  the usual suspects and i were out  donning of course our best astros attire.  we haven't missed an opening day game, since 2003.  tradition is tradition.  the game was an exciting one and the players didn't disappoint.  all in all, it was another opening day filled with excitement, anticipation and thankfully, a "w" in the win column.  i can't wait until next year.

you know what else happened that day?  i ran into "HIM" again.  just like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.  for those not a follower on the regular, "HIM" has been the subject of many, many, MANY, poems and stories that i have written.  in fact, i wrote a short story in male voice, because of him. he is sprinkled all over this little blog of mine.  so let me tell you the quick version of this little story.  you have time right? back in 2004 i met a boy.  he was charming, he was funny, he seduced my mind (and that's not an easy feat) and he was incredibly sexy.  he was the typical "bad boy"  but in a good way.  he had his group of friends he ran with whom i secretly called "the brat pack".  personally, i thought he was closest to resembling dean martin.-smooth, swag, charming.  anyway, we didn't date but we would see each other.  and i fell head over heels for him.  he did not feel the same way.  however,  we still saw each other throughout the years for other purposes and my feelings grew for him over that time.  it was a sad, pseudo relationship.  he would call when he was available and i would see him.  sad right? i know, i know. one day he just stopped calling.  i knew then, that he had moved on.  it took me a long time to get over him but i did.  he will always be the one that will make me blush and give me warm fuzzies in the pit of my stomach, no matter how many years go by.  he'll always be the one that i will smile (like i am right now) whenever i think about him.  anyway, for the past four years or so, every opening day, i run into him.  he has not a clue. (at least i don't think he does)  it's mind boggling to me because in a stadium filled with thousands of people, i always manage to spot him.  i never approach him or go say hi. i want to but i don't.  i'm always afraid of his reaction.  i mean, i think it would be so awkward.  well last week, we were leaving the stadium and just like that, there he was.  and just like years past, my heart fluttered and my stomach did flip flops.  this time i considered going up and saying hi, but i didn't.  again, i was afraid of his reaction.  which i don't know what i'm really afraid of really.  i mean, what happened between us, happened so long ago and now we're both older and in different places in our lives.  i love him to pieces, he really is a good guy, he just wasn't the guy for me.  i don't think he ever knew just how much he meant to me.  things happen for a reson.  i learned a lot about myself during that time and for that, i'm grateful.  but i think sometimes, men react and think about this so differently than women. am i right?  i realize i've gone off on a huge tangent and most of you are probably wondering what the hell's wrong with me, but it's okay.  y'all should be used to my babbling and ADD swings.  anyway,one of my friend's who is fully aware of the "HIM" story, thinks me always running into him has something to do with serendipity or fate or something like that.  i don't believe that but i do believe that the degrees of separation between he and i are uncanny.  weird isn't it?

alright, i just wanted to share that little anecdote of my life with you.  if you're still reading, thank you.
come back, i'll redeem myself.

maybe.