The other day I went to Ross. (think Target but
Driving home I kept wondering to myself if all this time that I thought I looked great for having turned fifty, I actually looked like, like, well, like Sophia from Golden Girls, or worse, Dorothy! Of course that would be kind of impossible since I'm only 4'10 and she is an Amazon. I know it's silly but that girl's question really messed me up. Had I let myself go? Did I look like those wannabe youngsters that were really middle-aged phonies? Had I lost my hotness factor and suddenly turned into an *old woman*??? My mind went into overdrive and I suddenly became sad.
Naturally, upon arriving home, I recounted my mis-adventure to my sister, my mom, my best friend. Basically anyone who would listen. And basically, I drove them nuts for the next few days. See? I am a little alot OCD. I can't just 'forget about it' like everyone told me to. I wanted answers dammit. I wanted validation that I was not old and decrepit. I wanted to be told I was beautiful and hot and not elderly at all. But alas, no one told me those things. Well, they told me I didn't look like a senior citizen. Meaning, I didn't look old. But since I obsess about everything, I just could not let it go.
I poured over recent and old photos of me. I examined my wardrobe. I still didn't see it. I still didn't see "old" when I looked at those pictures or when I looked in the mirror. Sure, I'm older. Sure, I have a wrinkle or two and laugh lines. But elderly? Me? Not on my watch sister. Not today and not tomorrow either. I dusted myself off, wiped the pity party tears and declared myself "old as I want to be" and reminded myself that age is nothing but a number. And that night, I put on my hottest outfit, wore my signature deep red lipstick, flipped my hair and went out to a friend's party. Totally rocked being fifty. Oh and got a 25 year old hottie's number too. So what if I will never call him? The important lesson here kiddies, is that we are all beautiful/handsome and sexy as we make ourselves feel. It has nothing to do with others' perception of us.
But I don't think I will go back to that particular Ross store anytime soon.