Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Hello July!

I always love the first day of a new month.  The anticipation of the unknown, of what may happen for you/us/me.  New month, full of potential and a chance to maybe right a wrong or follow through on something that you have let go by way of the "maybe later" projects.  Anything is possible.  At least, that's how I always feel at the beginning of a new month.  But somewhere between the 1st and the last day of the month, fear, disappointment and maybe even despair takes over me.  Why?  Well it's simple really.  If I set ridiculous goals or expectations for myself and fall short, I am a failure.  At least, in my eyes I am.  Oh come on, you know full well that we are our own worst critic.  Anyway,  I have a couple of goals this month that I hope to meet.  Wish me luck.

How about you?  What goals or expectations do you have, if any, for this month? Besides the killer tan and the bikini/speedo body I mean.  heh.

In other news, the Astros are have been in first place since April.  No I'm not kidding and yes, it's kind of a big deal.  -um hello? this hardly ever happens.  Oh who am i kidding? It never happens.  I'm all kinds of proud right now that's for sure.  And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I am a HUGE baseball fan.  Specifically, a Houston Astros fan.  Have been since I was about 7 years old.  Our record has been, how should I put it? Less than stellar the past few years so for us to even be in first place and in the American league no less, well, that's kind of huge. So pardon me if my being giddy gets out of hand.  There's still four months left in the season, more if they make it to the playoffs.  Oh but to dream...

The bewitching hour is almost upon me, so I will say good night.  Tomorrow is going to be a great day, I'm off on Friday for the long holiday weekend and I see beach, sand and sun in my future.

Be good.

Monday, June 22, 2015

poetry attempt fail, or something like that

kissing you 
hands freely roaming
our bodies in tune with each other
tantalizing whispers
cries of passion

i don't want this moment to end
let's stay here in our world
nothing else matters

in another lifetime, perhaps
in another lifetime

Sunday, June 21, 2015

nothing but words...

the heart wants what it wants
sometimes what it wants
it can't have

but it loves anyway
and it dismisses  the red flags
the road closures
the "do not pass go" signs

once that happens
it's too late to turn back
and you're stuck
that's never a good thing

heart of mine
how do i stop the ache?
what do i do to numb the pain?
how do i stop the tears from falling down my face?

Much Ado About Nothing

Greetings bloggies,

How is everyone tonight?  Happy Sunday evening.  So when last we met, my fair city was facing impending doom and gloom (according to the weather people) and if you saw the barren grocery store aisles, you would think the end of the world was coming.  Happy to report that Tropical Storm Bill was nothing but a bunch of hot air.  Really. We got rain, some of it severe, but nothing like what was forecast.  Luck was on our side this time.  But hey, it's Hurricane season, this will happen again, just hopefully not here.

Moving on.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddies out there, I hope your day was a great one.  I spent the early afternoon with my dad and my siblings and nieces and nephew. Quality family time -nothing like it.

I hope all of you are doing well. I plan to visit your blogs (as many as I can get to) tonight.  You have been warned.  :)

Well guys, it's Sunday, new week ahead full of endless possibilities.  Go out and make it happen.


Monday, June 15, 2015

Hunker Down: The Calm Before the Storm...

Back in 2008, in Houston, Texas (where I live y'all) a menacing Hurricane by the name of Ike, hit the Gulf Coast, and wreaked havoc  all across the board.  Ike was no joke.  Houston was brought down that day.  I remember that the morning before the storm touched land, city and county officials held a press conference to tell us what measures they were taking to make sure we were all safe.  There was a lot of "blah blah blah" said that morning, but what I will always remember is a county official uttering these now infamous words "Hunker down Houston, hunker down!"  And so, that became our mantra.  People made jokes about it.  After all, most of us had never heard that saying before.  Ok, ok, "I" had never heard of that saying before.  At any rate, it stuck.  And now, some seven years later, we are faced with the impending arrival of Tropical storm Bill.  Bill is slated to hit land in the wee hours of the morning.  At least that was what the last weather report projected.  And with that threat, the "Hunker down, Houston" chant has begun.    Ready or not, here Bill comes.

It's amusing to me how much the media plays a part in the hysteria that seems to have taken over our city.  Empty aisles at the grocery stores, no water, no bread, no canned goods.  On my way home I stopped to fill my gas tank and had to wait almost an hour in line,   Apparently, every person heading North on I-45 had the same idea as me.

I really hope this storm fizzles out during the night because our bayous and lakes have not yet recovered from the floods of Memorial Day weekend just three weeks ago and some people are still homeless because of the damage that storm caused to their properties, others lost their lives or were seriously injured.  So while I make light of the "Hunker down" saying and the panic mode this city seems to be in,  by no means am I making light of the loss and devastation that took place recently and may take place again.  Hopefully not.

So dear bloggies,  if you pray, please keep us in mind.  I'm tired of all of this rain and am seriously considering building an ark.  


Sunday, June 14, 2015

the return of my blog and myself

i have not written anything in four months and a few days
at all

as a self-proclaimed writer and all
this is unacceptable

but  words that once flowed out of my mind 
and the feeling i got when i couldn't wait to get them on the blank screen
just stopped

i tried to write
i tried 
but nothing happened and soon,
writing became work instead of pleasure
and that's when i shut down

it's not a forever thing
and my thirst and hunger for writing 
has returned

the poetry book that  i started in janauary
still sits unfinished
the short essays that i started in february
are waiting for me to go back to them
and complete them

the ideas swirling in my head
keep reminding me that if i don't write
no one will read my masterpieces
and that, my bloggies
would be a travesty

and so
i'm back, again.
the need to create, to write to bring my stories to life
is back

stay tuned...

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

20 Days in January

hello bloggies.  it's been a while.  i think this is the longest  i have gone without blogging, ever. almost two months. wow.  how is everyone?  i hope this first month of the new year has been kind to you.  as for me, well let's just say, it's been 20 days of "i want to give up".  not to be a debbie downer but i have not been this sad and distraught in a long, long, long time.  without getting into too many details, let's just say, i fell in love, right guy, wrong time.  of course there are people who would say,"if he was the right guy, then there would be no wrong time"  hmm, perhaps.  but no, it's exactly as i say.  we were one in the same, two peas in a pod, my ying to his yang.  meh, you know what i mean.  and while this has been a very painful time for me, i will never regret this past year.  not for anything.  i was very happy.  but now, i literally ache inside and at times feel i can't breathe.  needless to say, that ugly monster, "depression" reared it's ugly head. took advantage of the fact that i am in a vulnerable state.  and has tried (sometimes successfully) to drag me down that black hole again.  it's been so hard but i am much better today.  actually, today is the first day i have felt like myself and i didn't even cry once. that is huge people! huge  i tell you.

i've been doing a lot of self-reflection, an inventory of my life, if you will.  i'm 48, single, no children, not even a pet, in a pretty cool job but incredibly unhappy.  what is wrong with this picture?  all i know is  that 2015 is not going down like that for me.  i am going to finish mournng the loss of a beautiful friendship and love. i'm going to start living again because really, the alternative is just not what i want right now.  not for a long time.  i have many projects that need to be completed and i am going to spend time healing my spirit.  writing, will play a major part with that.  

so i'm getting a little excited about things again.  and soon, when i smile, it won't feel forced.  because if you know me, you know i've never "forced" a smile in my life.  until now. 

love and light to all of you.  and come back soon, i'll write something more palatable for you. i promise.

be good.