Sunday, October 2, 2016

I'm Fifty Y'all!

In a little over an hour I will turn fifty years old.  FIFTY.YEARS.OLD.  Let that sink in will you?  I always thought that turning this age meant that I was a senior citizen, that I would look like what grandmothers used to look like back when I was a little girl.  But I keep looking in the mirror and I don't see the grandma looking back at me or the senior citizen.  I see wrinkles for sure and flabby skin that shouldn't be there (Work in progress.  Am I right ladies?)  But no, no old lady here.  Sometimes I feel old, my knees ache, my back hurts, arthritis kicks in, I need reading glasses -the usual you know?  But my spirit?  Hell my spirit is ageless.  It's currently about twenty-five.  As a matter of fact, I threw the most awesome, insanely sexy and paparazzi worthy birthday party ever on Friday night.  I wore the sexy dress, high heels, and drank champagne as if it was water.  I have not partied like that in years.  It was outrageously fun and exciting and fabulous.

I didn't get to bed until 5:00 a.m. and was up by 9:00 to meet friends for breakfast.  I may or may not have still been drunk.  That's still under review.  Yeah right.  We all know I was still under the influence.  But I went and I ate and I was happy to be in the company of good friends and family. 

As my birthday draws nearer,  I find myself. doing a lot of soul searching and reflection about my life thus far.  I've been very blessed, I am very blessed to have an incredible family who supports me and loves me unconditionally and in spite of my sometimes bad choices I've made in my life.  Without them, I would be lost.  Still, I have a few regrets on where my life is at this point.  There were a few things I regret letting go, things I should have accomplished already.  Among them is that horrific Scarlet Letter if you will, that I seem to be carrying on my forehead.  You know the  "S'" for single and "NC" for No Children.  My family all but gave up on me.  Some of my extended family is still hopeful and continuously try to set me up.  But as I tell them over and over and OVER again, I'm really ok being single.  Really.  I mean, sure I would love to have a special guy in my life, sure I have always wanted to be married and I used to want children.  But things don't always work out the way we picture them to work out in our minds.  And maybe I will eventually meet my "Mr. Big"  No I'm not referencing a male genitalia, get your mind out of the gutter.   I'm referencing Carrie Bradshaw's Prince Charming.  If you don't get the reference, look it up.  I'm not giving up on love, my love.  I'm a romantic through and through but I am not wallowing either.  I've got new adventures to experience. I am still alive, I'm still here and life is wonderful.  This life of mine is anything but perfect.  But I love it and I cherish every heartache, every failure, every success, every love I have encountered.  I would not be the woman I am today, were it not for these things.

If there is one thing I have learned in these almost 50 years, it is that we are here on this planet we call Earth, for such a short time.  So I choose to make the best of what I have and change what I don't like about it.  I've only just scratched the surface.  There is more, so much more that this girl is going to do with her life so watch out.  It's only the beginning.

Good bye forties.  I love you and I thank you for life's lessons.  Bring it 50!

Saturday, September 10, 2016

In Rememberance...

I can still remember the exact moment that I heard an airplane had "crashed into a building".  It was a regular morning for me.  I was driving to work listening to what was at the time, a really funny radio program.  It's funny what we remember whenever a tragic event occurs.  I remember that it was a particular beautiful and sunny day in Houston.  You could tell that fall was coming with the light  crispy air.  I was one block from my office building when the on air personality said something that didn't sound right to me.  He said something along the lines of "This just in from the AP wire, it seems a plane has crashed into a skyscraper in New York"  he paused and then said, "Oh my god!" and then cut away to a commercial.  I wondered what had happened and continued on my way to the office.  I remember walking in to the office and found a few of my coworkers huddled together watching the small black and white tv we kept in the kitchen.  I guess they had brought it down here.  And there, I watched as the second plane hit the other tower.  I stood there in disbelief and to be honest, it took a moment or two for my brain to register what exactly had happened.  Some of my coworkers started crying.  I just asking what the hell had just happened.  You see, I still hoped this was some horrible, horrible prank.  Only it wasn't.

We remained glued to the tv, as other employees came in to watch with us.  When the towers fell, I cried.  There were people in those buildings.  Innocent lives.  I felt sick to my stomach.  The managing partner of the firm told us we could go home if we wanted to.  I stuck around for a few hours but then left.  I was useless at work.  And back then, there was not that "instant" social media capacity.  So there was no Facebook to post to.  No Instagram.  No Twitter to tweet.  We relied on the telephone -the landline kind.  And of course, our television and radio.

Driving home that mid morning was surreal.  I worked downtown where the streets were always filled with people bustling to their destination and traffic galore, sounds of machinery from construction often heard.  But as I drove away, downtown was eerily quiet and empty.  As I drove past Memorial Park -which is lined along the streets leading up to 610 highway, I noticed how there was no one running or walking.  That was unheard of in these parts.  But that day, there was no one.  Another thing I noticed was there were no birds flying overhead.  Normally, they were chirping away and you could see them flying freely like always.  But not that day.  I don't know if that had anything do with what happened but I just found it odd.

When I finally got home I sat in front of the tv for hours.  Watching what had unfolded early that morning  And you know, even after I saw people jumping from the buildings, even then I hoped they could be saved.  Even then...

Fifteen years ago, America as we knew it, died.   And I find it oh so ironic that here we are fifteen years later, and we're as lost as can be.  And that makes me so sad. 

I often think of the children that lost their mother or father or grandparents or siblings that day.  Or of the children that never got to meet them.  I think of all of those  firefighters and first responders that perished while trying to save lives.  Such a waste of life.  Horrible that it was cut short.  And the spouses that were left behind, the many brave men and women lost, because of cowardly acts from the monsters that drew blood from our beloved country.

On this fifteenth anniversary that tomorrow will bring, I will take a moment, pray for the lives lost, the loved ones left behind and the loved ones that never met their parents.  And I will pray for our country.  Broken as we are, we are still the United States and I am proud to be an American.

God bless us all..

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

How to Suck Correctly!

You just never know what going to lunch with coworkers will teach you I tell ya!  It was a particularly slow day at the office and the sun was shinning, "Wanna go to lunch?" was music to my ears and so I excitedly said yes.  Any excuse to get me out of the office was always a good thing -for me anyway.  So there we went, my two co-workers and I to decompress from the mundane "back  to work, feels like Monday but it's not, blues"  That's what I hate about being off on a Monday, coming back to work is a bitch.  But I digress.  We went to a local spot that served the BEST burgers in the world! Ok, ok, maybe not in the "world" but certainly in the area of town we were in.  Heh.  Once settled in, we began our non-chalant gab fest.  "How was your holiday weekend?"  "What'd you do?"  "Did you go shopping yesterday with all the other crazy people?"  You know, questions like that.   Anyway, somehow or another, I can't remember exactly why we started talking about this but we did.  Talk went from molding teeth to molding penises. (is that even plural???) and then went to classes for learning how to give blow jobs -the right way.  Um, I promise you if you ask any male friend of mine, they will tell you that any way is the right way.  Fellas amiright?  My co-worker, we'll call her Lucy, proceeded to enrich our intellect by revealing to us that there is indeed a need in this world to learn how to give head, suck cock, eh you know what I mean.  Sally, my other coworker and I literally had our mouths open as Lucy told us that she had taken such a class once. It was held in a regular classroom at a local community college.  I interrupted her story to ask if there were credits earned towards a degree.  She scoffed at me but I was serious.  Lucy is very animated when she speaks, she uses her hands a lot and her eyes.  She told us that it was a class full of women and one man. Yes.  A. Man. You see, her teacher taught an equal opportunity class.  Alright I'll get on with it, I know you are at the edge of your chair/bed/floor.  So the class was held once a week for 30 minutes for 4 weeks.  Her first day she said, was a bit awkward.  There was a lot of giggling and blushing and avoiding eyes amongst the masses.  The teacher was gifted I suppose in the art of um, giving blow jobs.  Imagine interviewing for that position er, job.  There were no text books just visual aids (think cocks in all sizes from small, medium, large to extra large to extra-extra large) Now, you were required to take your own "aide" to practice on and of course the visual aides for that that teacher brought in were just for show.  No touching, I mean sucking.   Lucy's take on this whole class was rather comical.  She said that on the first day besides getting acquainted with each other and the visuals, they also got to speak aloud if they wanted to, about why they felt they needed a class in the first place.  Now some of the answers were predictable "Because I wanna please my man" and yet other answers were more insightful "I want to learn to enjoy it so my partner will enjoy it"  -Pretty sure your partner is enjoying it -just saying!  Tips to giving a good blow job consisted of "jawsersizing" get it? instead of exercising?  Just making sure you understand.  Ok, so opening and closing your jaw on the daily was one tip, another one was to treat the cock as if it were a real person.  Uh, yeah that's what Lucy said.  Well, that's what the teach said.  Like a real person.  As opposed to a fake person? Or a fake thing?  The teacher meant that we ladies had to get comfortable with the penis person because that would help us to relax and enjoy it.  She gave homework.  Lucy told of having to suck on lollipops of various sizes.  Sucking the lollipop. .licking it, kissing it.  Seriously.  That's what she said. Oh and as your sizes in lollipops went up your jaws were getting their sersize.  Then came the licking.  According to the teacher, there is an art to licking.  Now that, I agree with.  And that's all I'm saying about that.  Moving on.  The class was told to learn to be comfortable with who they were and that if they mastered the art of giving a good blow job, the world was their oyster. Ok so maybe she didn't say the last part.  You know I'm dramatic.  It's funny how quickly an hour goes by when you're having so much fun.  We ended our lunch laughing hysterically and blushing no doubt.  Well, at least me. I blush at everything.  And yes more was said at that table that had us acting like hormonal teenagers but some things are better left unsaid and to the imagination.   I'm not all too sure that taking such a class is necessary.  I mean, in the kitchen alone there are tons of "aides" you can use or?  Be old fashioned and use the real thing.  After all, practice makes perfect.

This was fun.  Missed you bloggies (those that are still around)  


Wednesday, July 6, 2016

darkness to light

my heart is heavy tonight.  as i type away, i still can't believe what's happened.  a very dear friend whom i love to pieces, tragically lost his 21 year old son tonight.  he was shot during some sort of altercation outside their home and sadly, died.  i think my friend is still in shock and is just going through the motions. the police, the media, investigators, all have descended on their home.  he has to tend to his grieving wife and sons, all the while, trying to keep his composure.  when the adrenaline wears off later tonight and he comes down, he will be a basket case.

let me tell you a little about my friend's son.  he was the oldest of three boys.  his name was ruben.  he was twenty-one years old.  a good kid who sometimes led a turbulent and troubled life.  he was trying to find himself, make his mark in this world.  he loved to skateboard and was quite good at it according to his dad.  he was also creative, an artist.  he loved music.  it was there, when he was composing or performing that he was in his element.  he aspired to make it in music professionally.  he was a good kid.  and now he's gone.  

i never met him.  not in person anyway.  just via pictures and i grew to know about him through his father's stories.  i feel terribly helpless because i want to do something, anything to ease the pain.  i can say "i'm so sorry" to him a thousand times, it still won't take away the sorrow and it won't bring back his son.  and so, i do what i always do in times of sadness and despair...i come here to my faithful friend, my blog.  

during difficult times my faith is what sustains me, gives me solace.  without it i would be lost.  and so i pray that my friend and his family turn to their faith and hold on for dear life.  i pray that their grief lessens with time and that they are able to resume to some sense of normalcy.  i pray for smiles and laughter and a lighter heart.  it won't happen today, or tomorrow, or maybe even a month from now, but it will, happen.  because when all is said and done, life goes on.  my grandmother used to say, "dale tiempo al tiempo" -meaning, give time, time.  

life is so short.  embrace it.  live it.  love it.  cherish it.


Monday, April 18, 2016

Rainy Days and Mondays...

Greetings and salutations bloggies!  It's been awhile.  Hope all is well in everyone's little corner of the world. As for me, things are good.  Well, as good as they can be after enduring Mother Nature's havoc.  What I want to know is, "Who pissed her off?"  My fair city has been under water pretty much the entire day.  It started last night.  A band of heavy rains moved in and brought along their friends, fierce winds and jolting lightening.  It's not been a good day for thousands of people.  Many were caught in the rain and their cars quickly submerged in water, many, many others were stranded in their own homes as the water rose out of the banks and spilled onto the roads, neighborhoods and the like.  Still others have water in their homes.  My family and I are very blessed and fortunate.  We have power, our homes and vehicles are dry and seemingly safe -for now.  The weather is calling for more rain overnight.  But still, we are so very fortunate that have not suffered any damage/water/loss. My heart goes out to the those that have.

Here are a few images of today's craziness.

And that, dear bloggies, is all I have for you tonight.

Be good.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Love Is In the Air

Happy Valentine's Day bloggies!  I hope all of you share and/or receive a little love today.  Actually, I hope you receive it every day.  So many people have no clue what love is. I'm not just speaking of the romantic aspect of it.  I'm talking about the kind of love you may have for a child, a pet, a parent, a friend, your work, life.

I had a fantastic day today (or yesterday depending on your time  zone)  all day my heart was full and happy.  You know, I have much to be grateful for and so many people who love me and whom i love in return.  Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of this chaotic world we live in, I tend to forget just how lucky i really am.

And speaking about love.  for those faithful bloggers of mine, you may remember that I often wrote about "HIM".  He is sprinkled all over this blog of mine, especially in the early years.  Unbeknownst to him, he inspired quite a few poems and even a short, short story that can be found here:  Warning if you read it, I used a lot of exclamation points back then.  I dunno why.  ;)

Well, he's getting married next weekend.  I ran into him almost two years ago at a bar and we chatted briefly, and I remember how even still, he gave me butterflies in my stomach.  But I also knew that he would always be that guy, the one that all of us (women -or men if that's your liking) have had in our lives.  You know the one, the guy that made us blush and our hearts race and knees go weak and leave us hot and bothered all at once?  The guy that you knew was not for you, but you wouldn't turn him away if he came knocking -I'm just saying  The guy that exuded so much sexiness that you melted just at the sight of him.  Yeah that kind of guy.  Yeah, that's what he is and always will be to me.  And I can honestly say that I finally did get over him.  It took awhile, but I did get over him.  He wasn't my first love or anything like that, but he was someone that I loved very much.  And still do, just in a different way now.  A few months ago, I accepted his friend request on Facebook.  And it's a good thing.  I enjoy reading about his life from time to time.  I'm so very happy for him and his upcoming marriage. He's a really, really good guy.  Even if he was kind of a big jerk to me at times.  Even still, he is a sweetheart.  And I want nothing but the best  for him.  I hope he and his wife have lots of babies.  He's still hot and she is gorgeous.  Those are some cute babies in the making. So papito, cheers to you on your upcoming wedding.

So lovies, what bodes for you on this Valentine's Day? Whatever it is, may you get a lot of it and give a lot of it in return and be blissfully happy.  Kisses, hugs and lots of love to all of you.


Sunday, January 31, 2016

Color me confused

Who came up with the idea that adult coloring books would be therapeutic?  Have you actually seen one of those coloring books? I mean really looked at one?  Well you shouldn't.  I was given three as gifts recently.  Sometimes, when I'm visiting my nieces or nephews I help them color.  I like to  color. Or I used to.  So when I was given these adult coloring books I was a little very excited to say the least.   On one recent Friday night, I went to the quiet corner of my room.  It's where I sit and write/think/create or plot one of my stories or a poem or how to kill my ex (only in my dreams of course)  I got all comfy, brought along a glass of wine, turned on some jazz and opened up one of the coloring books.  The cover to the one I opened was a bunch of sunflowers and daisies.  How pretty! I thought to myself.  Well, I looked at the first page and thought, "no that's too complicated" and then turned the page and thought, "no that looks like too much trouble" and yet again the next page and the next one after that.  All the same.  Wtf?  These things even came with instructions on how to color.  NO.I.AM.NOT.KIDDING.  Who needs instructions to friggin' color???  Apparently adults do.  I mean, they have graphs and color scheme suggestions, the "right" way to color vs. the "wrong" way to color.  Good lord I'm getting a headache just thinking about this again. I almost called my friend who gave these to me to cuss her out. Almost.  But I didn't.  Instead, I took a sip of wine  big swig of my wine and downed that sucker before taking a special pencil to begin my masterpiece.    Oh did I mention that you can't use regular crayons for these coloring books? No really, you can't.  You have to use these special pencils.  Whatever.  For the next twenty minutes or so, I proceeded to color one, yes I said ONE sun flower before throwing the pencil across the room in disgust.  What a way to crush my dreams you adult coloring book maker you, whoever you are.  Those things are as interesting  as looking at a floor plan or an algebra problem. (No offense floor plan makers or algebra teachers) That night I got drunk on wine and watched bad 70s sitcoms instead. The next day, I went to visit my nephew and asked him where his colors and coloring books were.  And for the the next hour or so, I colored Superheroes and Thomas the Train and felt sooo much better. And I used real colors of the Crayola 48 kind.  Take THAT adult coloring books!