Thursday, May 2, 2019

just words

Ending a relationship with someone, whether it be a romantic one or a platonic one, is never easy.  Especially if time and emotion are invested.  As much as I pride myself in being strong, tonight I am anything but that.  Instead I am fragile.  Emotionally spent.  Needy.  Having a pity party for one.  Yay me.   Isn't it interesting that even though I know that I made the best decision by ending a relationship that I had invested 5 years of my life to, even still, I feel bad.  Like the minute after I ended it, I regretted it and wanted to take my words back.  Of course I didn't.  Because I know that as excruciatingly painful as it was for me to do, it was for the best.  Breaking up with someone just sucks.  Sometimes I hate being an adult and making adult decisions.  But hey, my conscience is clear and my mind is relieved, so there's that.  Still, it.sucks.alot.

Here's to a new month and change.  Cheers.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

a little broken

my heart aches
i feel sick to my stomach
pangs of regret
flashing thoughts of
"what if I made the wrong decision?" torment me
but through the tears
the pain 
my doubts,
my heart, broken as it is,
knows this was right
letting go

"Fredo, You broke my heart" - My Thoughts on the Houston Astros

I have held off on writing about this topic because I was still processing my emotions.  But I guess today is a good day to deal with this m...