Friday, July 5, 2013

Back to the Basics

The thing about holidays falling in the middle of the week is that it totally confuses the rest of the week for me.  On Wednesday, I went all day thinking it was Friday.  And yesterday I woke up  thinking it was Sunday.  So naturally, today I thought it was Monday.  Were it not for me wearing jeans to work, I would have worked like it was Monday instead of Friday.  Does anyone else do that?  Work harder on Monday because it's the beginning of the week and come Friday, I'm piddling around like I have nothing to do.  Yeah, I do that all the time. Pay me no mind, I'm just babbling.

For my American friends, how was your holiday?  Whatever you did, hope it was amazing and restful and fun.  Mine was.  :)  Except the restful part.  heh.

So tonight I wanted to talk about dating.  Or lack thereof.  I need ideas that are fresh and not cliche for dating again.  I think I'm ready to go out into the shark infested waters and try to catch a fish.  The thing is I loathe dating.  I do.  I wish we could just skip all that awkwardness and fast forward to being in a meaningful relationship.  But alas, you and I know that we can't do one without the other.  I guess I'm a just a little jaded.  The whole dating scene.  Guys lie, want to play games, have ridiculous expectations, etc., etc., etc.
It becomes cumbersome.  But I know that I'm not getting any younger (hush yo mouths!) and I want to get dressed up, feel excited about possibilities, crushing on someone or having them crush on you...  Who knows, maybe I'll catch a keeper this time around...

So back to my dilemma.  What are different ways to go out and meet men nowadays?  I have no problem striking up conversations with total strangers. I do it all the time.  But it's different if I'm even remotely interested in you.  If that's the case, I get tongue tied and my inner dork comes out.  And please don't say online dating.  I've had my fair share of that nonsense and am permanently scarred from that experience.  So, no thank you very much.  Seriously, I need your help. I'm considering the nunnery for crying out loud!

It's the weekend kids (at least I think it is), go out and do something fun!


Felicia-May Stevenson said...

Join a club or something. Think of what you really enjoy doing, and go do that. This way you are more likely to meet someone who has similar interests. Go about your every day life and love will find you when you least expect it. Cliché, but true. Wishing for you...

Don said...

Yvonne, the older I become the more confused I am. You're too young, vibrant, attractive, and desirable to blame age for being confused now. By the time you reach my age of 80+ you would be totally lost at this rate.

I'm an American, and hopefully one of your many internet friends. On Independence Day what I DID do was to contemplate the sacrifices our Founding Fathers made to create this nation of ours. I DIDN'T, as is my custom, put my Stars and Stripes flags on display to honor the day because it was raining and the flag code says to not display our flag in inclement weather unless it is whatever an "all-weather" flag is.

I'm too old to advise you about dating or the lack thereof other than to say that if some guy who attracts you asks you for a date, make the most of it and hope for the best.

I think you're not likely to catch a fish, even a Sucker (that's not what you may think it's a type of common "trash" fish that is usually just thrown away), without putting a line with baited hook, into the water.

So bait your hook with the most alluring bait you have, put it into the water, and hope for the best catch possible.

As to where to go to meet "keepers": NOT in bars. Try church groups of single adults, libraries, art museums, and other places where "keepers" may congregate to do more than propagate. Does that make any sense, Hon?

Robin said...

Maybe you should change your strategy. I am thinking about doing that. Consider taking a class that caters to adults. Learn something new that you are interested in doing/trying. Maybe an art class. Or computer class. I have no idea. What I do know is that there will be people there whom you don't know that share a similar interest. Join a book club. Like Bob suggested, go to places that you don't normally go to see people you don't usually see. However, make it things that interest you. Try new things!!!

Anonymous said...

Aw damn, I was gonna suggest online dating. Cut through some of the 'getting to know you' bs. But if that hasn't worked in the I dunno. Honestly I don't get out much. Never have. My niece just met her new BF through Tumblr, so maybe you'll meet someone on a website that isn't necessarily a dating site?

Aside from that, maybe a church group as was suggested or some kind of night class. It can be art, cooking, Zumba... well maybe not Zumba. I'm not sure that dudes do Zumba. But something where you'll be interacting with single men in a laid-back environment.

David Batista said...

I think you should make a rule: no dating men you meet while out having drinks! :) Although, I'm inexperienced at dating, so take that advice for what it's worth. But it just seems that bars or clubs or whatever are just the worst places to meet a guy.

Now, being a guy myself, I don't quite know how that rule works the other way around. But being as I'm recently single, I suppose I should try to listen to my own advice as well. I'm not interested in dating anyone right now, however, so I still have some time before I seriously have to confront this conundrum.

I wonder, though: How is the online dating scene for guys? I've already heard the horror stories from countless female friends. There are a TON of creepy asswipe men out there on these sites. But how is it for a guy like me who's been in one very long relationship since high school and completely skipped the social trauma of dating? Are all the nice women scarred and scared away from online dating? Perish the thought!

Red Shoes said...

LMBO @ Intro to this post... and I just thought I had figured out what today is/was... dammit...


I can't help with how to hunt down eligible men... Dating is a pain in the ass... a total pain in the ass.

You are right, though! You DO end up swimming with sharks!!!!

I look forward to reading about these adventures!!


Red Shoes said...

LMBO @ David's "Scarred and Scared"

Definitely NOT something one would want to put on an on-line dating profile!!!



Yvonne said...

Felicia- Thanks, sweets. I am joining all kinds of clubs and signing up for various activities. Can't say I'll stick to all of them. I'll weed out the ones I truly enjoy and go from there. This will put me out there somewhat and I'll be meeting different types of men along the way. :)

Don- hahaha! Trust me, I'm very forgetful! I'm not a "bars" type of girl. I frequent them but with friends and usually for a special occasion. Thanks for the suggestions. :)

Robin- yes that's what I plan on doing! Good luck to you as well! New experiences, new opportunities, sounds like a plan to me! :)

Chris- oy! remind me to tell you a story or ten about my online dating experiences/nightmares, sometime. You will die laughing. TRUST.ME. Zumba is a great way to meet people and there are quite a few men in there too. ;)

David- ha! I don't, trust me on that! I know better. I can't speak for all women, but this woman is just tired of the same bs on the online dating scene. I'm sure it's different for men. But not that different. If you EVER, EVER, decide to go that route, don't exchange personal info so quickly, don't trust her until you've actually met her in person, and don't believe anything she says unless you can verify. I have a friend that was taken to the cleaners and back, with is his online dating experience. Just be careful, friend. I guess it's like that for meeting a woman anywhere. I just think that in the internet/cyberworld, things get skewed and not so truthful. Oh but you have nothing to worry about, when you're ready, you'll waste no time in finding someone. Mark my words! :)

Red- ha! no, we're in the land of confusion together! :) I agree dating sucks! I don't want sharks anymore, I'had too many of those, am looking for a nice flounder -you know someone nice and honest and caring and employed, and heterosexual. hahahahaha :)

Don said...

Yvonne, here I am back for an encore.

Being the political junkie that I am, I took note of your writing, ".....don't trust her until you've actually met her in person, and don't believe anything she says unless you can verify." That seems to go a step further than what President Reagan said about the Soviet Union, "Trust, but verify".

Oh, and about flounders (the fish): I guess you know they are bottom feeders often found in shallow water and captured for the table by spearing them with a gig. As adults, while hiding on the sand at the bottom of the body of water both of their eyes are on the top side of their bodies......all the better to ogle you with, my dear. :-)

Happy gigging to you!

Red Shoes said...

" know someone nice and honest and caring and employed, and heterosexual."

There was this one woman that BRIEFLY dated!!! She was telling me over dinner one night what she liked about me...

"You are employed, you have an automobile, and you have your teeth..."

WTF?!?!?!? What dating pool had SHE been sifting through!!!!


~shoes~ said...

Hon, I'm the last person to give advice on this topic. But I'm here to cheer you on and support you. Make sure he's good enough and send the losers running. That's all I've gotta say for now.

Take care,

Yvonne said...

Don- ha!

Red- oh you would be surprised what kind of weirdos we find in thes dating pools!

Robyn- I'm weeding out the losers, but they keep finding their way back!