Sharing Is Caring

The other night I was with a group of friends, catching up, relaxing over a bottle glass of wine, (oh who am I kidding? you guys knows it was a bottle) when the topic of discussion turned to swinging and by swinging, I don't mean the swing-sets at the park.  No boys and girls, what I'm referring to are couples who swap with other couples/partners for physical encounters.  Now, the group I was having this discussion with all happen to be single and not into this lifestyle I'm writing about.  (No really, it's true, they told me) But we have mutual acquaintances who are into this type of er, "arrangement".  The whole reason this was even brought up was because one of those acquaintances was having a get together that night and none of us were invited.  We learned later it was because it was going to be one of "those" parties.  The kind that only couples are invited to, the kind that anything goes, clearly, not a party for a single gal or guy to attend uncoupled.  Get it?  So we started going back and forth about why they do it (in general) and what the thrill is.  Some of the guys gave the typical "guy" response, "That's like getting a free pass to have sex with someone other than your girlfriend/wife/lover!"  Yeah, yeah, I guess that could be exciting for you fellas.  But what's the draw for women?  The same thing?  A free pass to have sex with other men who are not theirs?  Why?  Now, I'm not a prude by any means. And hey, I'm the first to say, do what makes you happy or feel good.  But I just feel like in doing so, partaking in the "swapping" business, you diminish your relationship with your significant other.  Some things should just remain a fantasy.  At least, that's my opinion.  Some of the people I was with last night, said that maybe it helps to spice up their relationship or maybe it's a one time thing, you know, like when they guy or girl says, "oh please baby, do it for me, just this once..."  I dunno.  It's just not my thing.  I dated a guy that wanted me to have a threesome with him.  He all but begged me to make it happen, but I didn't.  I don't like to share my men. Heh.  So I declined and  soon after, we stopped seeing each other.  Someone said that there has to be a level of trust between the couple before they go out and mingle or is it co-mingle? (haha get it? just a little legal humor) and that that level of  trust in each other, is what makes the relationship stronger, thus allowing for this type of behavior.  And another of the guys chimed in and said he would be cool with doing that as long as it was his girlfriend and another girl, not another guy that they swapped with.  I've known couples who live the "alternative/open relationship/marriage" and are very happy that way.  Or appear to be anyway. They live as a couple, but go out with other people, and/or swap partners.  Like I said, that's cool and all but I just can't wrap the idea around my head.  Why commit to relationship if you are not going to be faithful?  What is so lacking in your life that you feel the need to fill the void with well, with that?   What do you think?  I mean, clue a sister in, would you please?

We tabled the discussion because we were getting nowhere and also because we are not a quiet group and the people around us kept staring at us -meh, they were probably wishing they were at our table instead of  theirs.

What say you?