happy sunday bloggies. what crazy and fun things did you get into this weekend? spill it. i had good one. friday i finally saw my friend. the one that i just recently (december) reconciled with, only to have it blow up in my face, remember? yeah, him. well, the planets all aligned and there was a full moon that night, so meeting him for drinks, seemed only natural, don't you agree?
the reconciliation
it was bittersweet. i arrived first. we met at a quaint italian restaurant. i sat facing the door, so i could see him when he arrived. our eyes met, the minute he walked through the door, we trepidly walked towards the other, until finally falling into an embrace that lasted a long, long, time. we talked for hours, drank too much wine, laughed, cried -ok so, i cried. we got angry, i cried again, we hugged again, and in the end, he walked me to my car, hugged one last time, and went our separate ways. our friendship will never be the same. something died when we had our fallout. but i got my closure, face to face this time, not over the phone. we both said things to each other that needed to be said. so i am at peace with that part of my life, and can now, finally, move on.
relationships. real? or a fad quickly fading?
alright. so my gal pals (you know, m&m -otherwise known as, michelle and maricela) and i were having lunch today and conversation quickly turned to, what else? men. those pesky little critters. today's topic was whether or not the ever elusive "relationship" still exists or is it a thing of the past? what prompted this discussion was that we had just learned that yet, another couple that we know and love, who also happen to be dear friends of ours, are getting divorced. the reason? or at least, the reason given? "it's just not there anymore" -really? just like that? they have been married sixteen years. my own parents were married twenty-five years until one day, my dad decided he didn't love my mother anymore and wanted something more. -his words. so you see, i'm just a little jaded about this topic. anyway, we all agreed that relationships take work and a lot of effort from both parties. but while i remain hopeful and ever the romantic, my girls, michelle and maricela, believe that no one is meant to be together forever or until they die. they believe that it is what it is and that the relationship will end, eventually. i respect their opinions, but i don't agree with them. i refuse to believe that everyone should go into a relationship -platonic or romantic, with the expectation that it will fail, eventually. that's not very healthy mind thinking. amiright here? they called me a "helpless romantic" and that's okay, but i don't just feel this way about love, i feel this way about all types of relationships in our lives. if we all thought that way, then really, what would be the point. your thoughts?
on being footloose and fancy free
as some of you may know, or have noticed (if you are a regular reader of my blog), i have recently been battling with inner demons and emotional crap. well, to offset said crap, i've been seizing the day, so to speak. meaning, taking risks i normally would never take, going left when i should be going right. saying yes, when clearly, the answer is no. i've become a rebel it would seem. can't say how much longer i'm going to keep this up. but it's been fun watching people's reactions to my new found attitude. maybe it's because i really just don't care anymore. or maybe it's because i'm daring myself to come out of my shell and try new things. maybe, there is no rhyme or reason for it. it just is.
alright kids, it's a brand new week, i wish happy and productive things for you!
be good.
11 comments:
No one ever stops loving someone overnight. It's always a gradual buildup. It might seem to everyone else that it was overnight, but the two people involved in the relationship know better. Too often I see couples stay together "for the kids," even though the love has clearly been missing for some time. But they stick it out for days into months into years, until they might even fool themselves into believing that everything is really okay in the marriage. And then one day the husband or the wife (or both) realizes that the kids are grown and living their own lives now. And they look around and realize: why the hell am I still here?
That right there is why it sometimes seems like the decision to separate happened overnight. Or out of the blue. But you couldn't be farther from the truth. There's always a buildup. And when you're dealing with an old married couple with children, the sad truth sometimes is that the trouble began when the kids were still very young. Such seems to be the way of life.
At least, that's my two cents. :)
But even given all of the recent crap I've personally dealt with on this very subject, I do still believe that it's possible to have a relationship with someone that lasts forever. Or until one or the other departs this world. I'll never be *that* cynical to believe otherwise, I think.
The fairytale has such a strong influence on the world that people actually destroy a solid marriage because they are looking for the excitement they had when they first met. Now, they'll find it with other people, and it will die. That's what happens. It's a shame people don't get that the fairytale is a fairytale.
xoRobyn
Taking risks and doing things differently can be great. Also glad you got closure face to face. That's wonderful.
I'm like you. I believe in life-long relationships. The thing is, it takes a lot of work, forgiveness and acceptance. When feelings of love go away you need to understand they will come back. Counselling or marriage books make all the difference. We are all such a mess it is pretty hard to live with each other unless you have the knowledge how to do it.
David- I actually agree that the death of a relationship does not always happen over night and that it does indeed, occur slowly, building up as you say, until it finally just collapses. My own parents stayed together for "us" (the kids), until we were adults. I can't tell you how many times I've wished that they had divorced when we were young. I took it harder as an adult. But anyway, while as I said, I agree that relationships fall apart in time, there are also instances where spouses/significant others, have been blindsided, overnight. And that was what I was referring to. I guess my typing is not as fast as the thoughts in my head. ;)
Robyn- I think we can make our own fairytale. Not the fake one that Cinderally gives us, but our unique one, with whomever we are destined to be with. Eh, what do I know? I'm about to start my own order for nuns. ;)
Belle- Seeing him after all two years of silence was overwhelming and exciting and necessary. Emotionally exhausting too, but so worth it.
Hi Yvonne, came over to check out your blog following a comment on Red Means Go.
I enjoy your writing style, and can commiserate with many of your issues. I too, battle inner demons on a daily basis.
I must say though, that I find your blog background to be very distracting. The print is too small, and hard on the eyes. I'm also not a big fan of not using caps.
Keep writing, I'll be back to keep reading. ;)
only believe yvonne! i was married to my mann for thirty six wonderful years. he died five days after our 36th anniversary. of course we had our rough times and arguments but the reward for surviving the difficulties of marriage is the blessing of unconditional love.
Felicia- Hello! Thanks for the follow and for your comments. I'd never thought about the font size/print being too small. Again, thanks for bringing it to my attention, I'm trying to figure out how to remedy the situation.
Reeflightning- Aww, sweet story. I'm sure you have memories to last a lifetime. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.
What you've done so far is awesome, much easier on the eyes! Thank you!
You are so brave to have faced this issue head on. I'm not too good at that. I usually just let things drift away. I hate confrontation and all that. I'm sure you are better off for the closure that you got.
Someday soon you will find that one person who makes you know that there is nothing he wouldn't do for you. And he will deserve how much you are wanting to share your life with him. The right relationships last and some of the wrong ones last too long!
posting on a sunday?
THATS a dedicated blogger, right here!
YRJ- Thanks! I couldn't agree more!
Slyde- ha! or? just boredom.
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