words escape me
but the images are embedded in my mind
my heart aches
i saw an old friend tonight. almost 23 years ago, i met the the love of my life. my soul mate. unfortunately, for me anyway, our love never flourished. we were the best of friends and remained so, until the day he got married. oh we still remained friends, just not in the same capacity as before. i respected his wife and his marriage. life happened and we went our separate ways. it's been years since this happened. i hardly see him/them anymore. in fact, i had not seen him/them in almost three years. but i saw them tonight. him, his wife and his two year old daughter. we were as friendly as ever to each other. i held the little one for a bit, caught up on what was going on with one anothers' lives. and then said our goodbyes. i don't know why this time, this time seeing them, seeing him, tugged at my heartstrings extra hard. i drove away, made it to the light at the end of the street and proceeded to cry, all the way home. it's not that i still have feelings for him, i don't. at least, not romantically. i closed that chapter in my life a long, long, time ago. i think it was more melancholy, yearning or mourning for what was or what used to be. we were very good friends and a part of me, will always miss that. i don't know that i will ever feel the same way about anyone else ever again. i hope to, but i just don't know.
i wasn't even going to write about this. but i couldn't stop thinking about it and so, here we are.
if you're still reading, thank you. i'm not always so morose, come back soon, i'll show you.