Saturday, November 19, 2011

If Only In A Dream

"I came to tell you that I'm sorry."
My heart raced at the sight of him.  Hands shaking, I opened the screen door and let him inside.
"Thanks." he muttered as he stepped into the house.

We stood there, staring at each other, for what seemed like forever, but really, was only a few seconds.  Finally, I told him to take a seat and offered him something to drink.  He declined on both counts.

"I miss you.  I miss talking to you and I miss our friendship. I was an idiot! I'm sorry Lola, I'm sorry I hurt you!"

I had been waiting and waiting for years for this apology.  I finally had it and I was at a loss for words.
He realized this and filled the void, "I fucked up ok? Is that what you want to hear? I did.  I hurt you.  You were my best friend and I'm standing now in front of you, asking for forgiveness..."

My eyes brimmed with tears, I could barely make him out as he stood a few feet in front of me.
Without any further hesitation, I threw my arms around him and hugged him.  He hugged me back.  We stayed that way for a long time.  Just holding each other, me crying softly, and him telling me over and over how stupid he had been.

"I forgive you!"  I meant it.  I forgave him, just like that all hurtful words, painful acts disappeared.  Forgiven.  We smiled at each other and an overwhelming feeling of calm, mixed in with happiness filled my heart.  We hugged again...

"Lola,  wake up, it's time."

I opened my eyes, tears falling down my face. Reality sinking in.  Gustabo was never here.  Slowly, my mind started focusing on the present.  Sadly, I remembered that he had been killed in a car accident three days before.  The visit had all been a dream. 

"Are you okay?"  My sister asked me.

I stared blankly at her and nodded.

As I drove to the church where the funeral mass would take place, I quickly glanced up at the sky and whispered, "I forgive you."  And I smiled.
*I don't know why but death has been on my mind a lot lately.  It's trickling over to my topics for my stories and poetry.  Hope you like this one!


Ruth said...

I like it.
I think it would be nice to think that he really did visit her. A dream yet not a dream. Does that make sense?

Yvonne said...

Thanks! Yes I totally get what you're saying. Maybe that's why she smiled at the end. :)

Mynx said...

Wonderful. And like Ruth said, perhaps he really did visit her and give her the peace she needed.

Possum said...

I like too! Lots of pathos.

lisa from insignificant at best said...

This left me with tears in my eyes. My heart broke for Lola. I like to think that he came to her in her dream asking for forgiveness. Thank you so much for sharing this! I really loved it.

My Inner Chick said...

---Very Moving.

It is never too late for forgivness... X said...

Your writing oozes heartfulness. This is so powerful. Sometimes forgiveness happens through dreams or other ways not of the here-and-now, but it's just as real (I believe.)

Belle said...

Yes, I really like this one. It rings true especially for me because since my grandson died many friends and family have had dreams where he has told us he is happy and at peace.

Jennifer Hillier said...

Really beautiful. I had a dream like this not too long ago. Thanks for sharing, Yvonne.

Yvonne said...

Mynx- perhaps he did... :)

Possum- It's all in how you choose to look at it.

Lisa- Aww, then my job here was done. :) Thank you for your comment!

My Inner Chick- No it never is!

Robyn- Yes that's exactly what I think too! Great minds and all...

Belle- Oh Belle! I thinks that's a wonderful thing and comforting to you and your family.

Jennifer- Glad you liked it!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Your writing is lovely, whatever the subjects. I love the way you make it feel as if the reader is right there experiencing everything right along with your characters.

David Batista said...

I thought this was going to be a sappy "love" scene, but ended up being pleasantly surprised. :) What a thoughtful, emotionally wrought piece of writing, Yvonne!

The ending really resonated with me, waking up from a pleasant dream to a harsh reality. Has happened more times than I care to count. *sigh*

Thanks for sharing this!

Yvonne said...

YRJ- Thank you! That's my objective! :)

David- Hehehe, thought I'd drug you into a cheesy novela eh? My work here is done then. :) Seriously, glad you liked it and it spoke to you.