Saturdays are normally set aside for running errands, maybe some shopping, definitely a visit to the grocery store and let’s not forget laundry, you know, chores and what not. Normally. Today however, I woke up, sun was shining, and my inner child refused to cooperate in getting any of the aforementioned done. So, giving in to "the kid", I showered, got dressed, and took off. It had been ages since I had done anything like this! Ages… Just me and this beautiful Saturday morning! A “beautiful” day merits "top down on the car" kind of music. I pop in my "old-school" mix CD –what can I say? I love "old school" music! First up, Earth Wind & Fire's "September" “Do you remember?” ---I belted out loudly. The wind blowing in my hair created a mini-tornado. I glanced at myself in the rear-view mirror and laughed at what I saw. I found myself on I-10 West, San Antonio bound! No particular reason. I’d drive there, have a nice lunch, walk around the Riverwalk, maybe shopping and then head back. As I drove away from the city and the traffic, my mind began to wander...
"I still can’t believe you are not here anymore. Well, not physically I mean. I miss you so much! Do you miss me? Sigh.
You know, I’ve often wondered what our lives would have been like if you
had not gotten sick. Do you? Would we be
married? Would we have kids? Would you still dance with me under the
stars, even when there was no music? I
miss that a lot. Dancing with you. You were always better at it than me. Just so you know, I’m okay. Really. I mean, it took me a long, long time
to feel this way. But I really am. It was scary there for a while. I didn’t think I was going to get over losing you. But I did. You should be very proud of me!”
"I am proud of you. And I miss you too, so much."
Whoa! I glanced trepidly to my right, only to see Alex sitting beside me. He saw the look of terror and disbelief on my face and quickly tried to calm me down. "It's okay baby. It's okay. Don't freak out. I'm here. I'm really here. You're not imagining it."
Refusing to look to my right again I kept my eyes on the road and continue to drive. Turning the music up louder, to drown out my thoughts and my apparent hallucinations.
He touched my arm trepidly. "Pull over" he said in that "take charge" voice of his.
Instinctively, I do as I am told and pull the car over on the side of the road.
I slowly turn my face to see him staring back at me. Sitting in the passenger seat, smiling.
"Oh God, it's really you isn't it? I'm not crazy???"
He takes me in his arms and holds me. I inhale his smell. "You're not crazy Caro. I'm here to tell you that I'm okay. Go on with your life. Be happy..."
I look into those beautiful green eyes that I fell in love with a lifetime ago. I touch his face, run
my fingers through his head full of thick curls. And then we kiss. Hungrily, yet softly.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry we fought that day... It was my fault!" I was saying what I had been holding in for so long.
He cupped my face with his hands. "No. It was not your fault. It just happened. I love you. Go on with your life. I love you..."
Just then this buzzing noise went off and I jolted up in bed. Alarm clock. Sigh, so it was a dream. Still more asleep than awake, I get out of bed and walk over to the window. The sun just coming out. I stare out at the sky. "Thank you Alex..."
*Just an idea I have swirling in my head. What'd you think?