This life we live, it has a way of making us stop and take inventory, even when we don't want to. Sadly, this post will not be a happy one. On my way home from the beach today, I learned that my friend Michelle's (one of the Musketeers) brother-in-law passed away suddenly. He was thirty-seven years old. He leaves behind a wife and two young children. Not twenty-four hours earlier, I was with all of them. We were swimming, grilling food, laughing, enjoying a beautiful Sunday. He was alive the last time I saw him, and now, he's not. I am still kind of in shock. I have not gotten over the fact that he is gone. I was not close to him by any means, but his passing, still affects me. I mourn his loss, and I mourn the fact that his children will no longer have him in their lives. My heart is heavy and aches tonight.
I try not to question life's designs, I take them as they come and leave everything to God. But in some instances, I can't help but ask "why" and look to my Catholic upbringing for answers. When a tragedy like this happens, it makes me ponder my own existence in this crazy world. My purpose. And lately, my lack of direction. Not gonna lie, there have been times when I've thought that I'm just here taking up space, oxygen, and merely existing to exist. It's at those darkest moments, that I rely on my faith and my family, and my friends to help me not stay in that state.
But it's all about perspective, living life to the fullest, etc. How many of us can honestly say we do this though? We all know the circle of life. We all know we're going to die one day. But I think that we believe ourselves to be invincible. And perhaps, some of us live in denial, "I'm never gonna die" That's a bit over-board, but it's true. I know a few people who live that way! Life is life. It's up to us to do as much as we can with it, while we can. So do it! Just as all those slogans and daily affirmations tell us to do.
Rest in peace, Steven.