Monday, July 4, 2011

Circle of Life

This life we live, it has a way of making us stop and take inventory, even when we don't want to.  Sadly, this post will not be a happy one.  On my way home from the beach today, I learned that my friend Michelle's (one of the Musketeers) brother-in-law passed away suddenly.  He was thirty-seven years old.  He leaves behind a wife and two young children.  Not twenty-four hours earlier, I was with all of them.  We were swimming, grilling food, laughing, enjoying a beautiful Sunday.  He was alive the last time I saw him, and now, he's not.  I am still kind of in shock. I have not gotten over the fact that he is gone.  I was not close to him by any means, but his passing, still affects me. I mourn his loss, and I mourn the fact that his children will no longer have him in their lives.  My heart is heavy and aches tonight.
I try not to question life's designs, I take them as they come and leave everything to God. But in some instances, I can't help but ask "why" and look to my Catholic upbringing for answers.  When a tragedy like this happens, it makes me ponder my own existence in this crazy world.  My purpose.  And lately, my lack of direction.  Not gonna lie, there have been times when I've thought that I'm just here taking up space, oxygen, and merely existing to exist.  It's at those darkest moments, that I rely on my faith and my family, and my friends to help me not stay in that state. 

But it's all about perspective, living life to the fullest, etc.  How many of us can honestly say we do this though?  We all know the circle of life.  We all know we're going to die one day.  But I think that we believe ourselves to be invincible.  And perhaps, some of us live in denial, "I'm never gonna die"  That's a bit over-board, but it's true.  I know a few people who live that way!  Life is life.  It's up to us to do as much as we can with it, while we can.  So do it! Just as all those slogans and daily affirmations tell us to do. 

Rest in peace, Steven.


Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Yvonne that is sad story to think someone can go that fast but it does happen and will continue to happen and yes we often think why? Why did that person who had so much to life for and so much life left ahead of them to die. Sometimes all we can do is except that God knows the reason why that persons life is over.

You have a purpose and the lives you touch are so enriched by use just knowing you. I am pleased to know you and feel a connection with you.

Thank you for being part of my life.......

Leah said...

Sad story.

Sometimes, I also do that.. Why do these things have to happen? And what is my purpose.. am I here to do something or am i just taking up space?

I know that everything happens for a reason.. but it's just so hard sometimes, that you begin to question things.. But well, I just step back... and breathe.

I guess we'll never really know how or when our lives will come full circle. So cliche, but yes, let's live life to the fullest.

Rest in peace, Steven.

Cinderita said...

I am sad for your friend and the kids...especially the kids. but the friends who get left behind too..Thank you for sharing this and for letting us know. I am so sorry for YOUR loss in this. xo said...

Oh Yvonne, I am so sorry. That is incredibly shocking. He was way too young and leaving behind kids makes it all the more tragic.Be gentle with yourself through the grief process.

I don't know if it's inappropriate or needed right now, but I appreciate your slogan: fabulous at 45. You are already fabulous.


doreen said...

How very sad for his family and especially his children. I work with the elderly (my day job) so I deal with death often. I still never get used to it and it is always sad...but true the circle of life just keeps moving...

Random Girl said...

Sorry for your loss and the loss that his family is experiencing. I hate that "You never know when your time is up" feeling of mortality and I too question the things like this that just don't seem to make any sense at all.

David Batista said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Yvonne! This is so eerily similar to what happened to me around this time just two years ago:

The loss of my brother-in-law also left me in the same state of shock as you are describing here. He was only a teenager, and the senseless and quick manner of his death left me questioning a great many things about my existence and mortality and so on.

My thoughts are with you and your friend's family.

Don said...

Yes, this is truly sad, but at the same time it's a reality that we have to learn to live with and get beyond.

I try to live life to its fullest every day I live. About 6 months ago I wrote something to share with a few others that I will now share an edited and updated version of with you hoping that it may help you get beyond this, as follows:

I'm blessed.......and you are also.
Yes, I have problems just as everyone does, nevertheless, I'm blessed.
When I was 9 years old I had rheumatic fever, missed most my third grade classes and was thus not promoted to the 4th grade with my classmates. I'm blessed because within the first 6 weeks of the next school year I was promoted to the 4th grade because I was blessed by being able to do much of the third grade schoolwork while at home in bed.
Our family doctor said that I had been left with an enlarged heart from my illness and likely wouldn't live to reach my 50th birthday. I celebrated my 78th birthday on April 29, 2011. I'm blessed.
I've lived for over half of my life with crucial pain in the lumbar area of my spine. Two invasive surgeries failed to alleviate the pain which has grown progressively worse over the years. Today I must use a crutch just to walk around. I'm unable to do many of the chores that daily need to be done when one owns a home. Yet I'm blessed by just being able to hobble around and look at all that needs to be done that I'm no longer able to do. Having rheumatism in several of my joints now further hinders me....yet I feel blessed.
In the mid 1980s cancer was discovered in my prostate gland. Options at that time were not nearly as many as they are today. I opted to have my prostate removed. The surgery left me, someone who had always enjoyed sex, almost totally impotent. Yet, I feel blessed to even be alive this many years later.
I'm further blessed because several years ago someone convinced me that even at my advanced age I could, and should, learn how to use a computer, become involved in politics, and establish a website because he believed in and supported what I tried to do there.
More blessings came my way once I was on the internet where I met other people around the world through their websites or blogs. Thanks to today's technology I've become acquainted with several of them and have found 2 very dear friends across the Pacific Ocean and south of the equator in Australia. They bless me with their caring and informative correspondences with me.
I dedicate this email to them.....they know who they are.
I've been blessed in many other ways that I haven't mentioned.
In closing, let me say that YOU are also blessed in many ways. Accept your blessings, dwell on them, and enjoy them. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERY DAY.

The Frisky Virgin said...

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so very sorry. He was so young with so much life ahead of him. Life is so very delicate and so very short. We just have to have faith and live each day, each second to its fullest. We have to take chances, have no fear.

Many, many hugs to you my dear friend. If you need to talk, you know I'm here. *Hugs*

myjoyproject said...


getyourselfconnected said...

I am so sorry.

Possum said...

I lost a friend this week as well...way too soon before her time. Amongst the outpourings of love and rememberance sent to her husband and young son were the following touching words:
“The only thing that walks back from the tomb with the mourners and refuses to be buried is the character of a man. What a man is survives him. It can never be buried.”
May our friends RIP

Sandra said...

Very well put! And my deepest condolescences for your loss :(

Yvonne said...

Jo-Ann- Your kind words moved me to tears! Thank you!

Leah- Yes, life continues it's course, no matter what. Thank you for your words, they mean a lot to me.

Rita- I am also really sad for the children left behind. Thanks for your words!

Robyn- thank you! And no, it's not inappropriate at all! lol I'm glad you liked it!

Doreen- Thanks for that, and for the follow! Welcome to my chaos! :)

RG- Life isn't fair sometimes. It is what it is, I guess. Thanks for your sentiment RG!

David- Awww, your brother-in-law died a child! That's horrible!!! Isn't it weird how it takes some type of tragedy to make us question our existence or our way of life. Pity we can't seem to do that on a regular basis. Thank you for your sentiment, it means a lot!

Don- Wow! Thank you so much for sharing that with me, it's beautiful and thought provoking! And thanks for reminding me that I am blessed! :)

FV- Yes, life is fragile indeed! Thank you for your thoughts and kinds words! :)

Kelly- :)

GYC- Thank you very much!

Possum- Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss! Thank you for that quote, it speaks the truth and loudly!

Sandra - Thanks so much!

Belle said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I'm especially sorry for his children too. All we can do is believe God knows what he is doing. My prayers are will you all.