Thursday, June 16, 2011

Something to ponder...

I read an interesting article in last Sunday's paper. Yes I am one of the few remaining lovers of the almost extinct "Sunday Paper" (*gasp*) So the  article I read was  about men and women and friendship.  Basically, the writer claimed that men and women could not possibly be friends and lovers or friends AFTER they are no longer lovers. Why? Well, the writer cited emotions from either the man or the woman and unrequited love.  I mulled this over for a bit. The majority of my friends are women, however, I have had two best friends who are men and neither were my lovers. Well, okay, let me retract! See what had happened was---- Ok,  my first "bestie" who is of the male species, we'll call him *Gustabo. Well, *Gustavo and I became the best of friends. We had an immediate "connection" and our friendship grew over a period of time. BUT, I did the dumbest thing. I fell in love with him. Hook, line and sinker! I debated for a long time whether or not to let him know how I felt, because I didn't want to lose the relationship we had,  in the end, I told him. Like the great guy that he was, he told me he did not feel the same way -in the most gentle way possible of course! Well, I thought I could handle being just his friend. But I couldn't. Listening to his woes of love and stories of women he dated were torture for me. We slowly started putting distance between us and soon, we became acquaintances who smile and exchange pleasantries when we see each other, but aside from that, the bond we once had, was gone. I miss him, but I know letting him go was the best thing I could have ever done -for me.

My next bestie, we'll also call him *Gustabo  --- hey I'm tired, and it's late.  My relationship with *Gustabo the 2nd is one of the most honest and sincere relationships I have in my life! He truly is my best friend and there is nothing either of us wouldn't do for each other. And we're strictly platonic. There is no underlying pulse of "attraction" to one another and that's a great thing. We've seen each other naked -metaphorically speaking I mean. It's a great feeling to know that someone's got your back, no matter what! Now, before I get comments or the dreaded emails/texts from my GIRL friends, calm down, I know you are all the best! And you will have my back ALWAYS, and I love you for that, but I'm not talking about YOU tonight, so put the cell phones down and keep reading my blog!

Reading that article brought back a lot of memories for me. And it was nice revisiting that part of my life for a while. Not sure I totally agree with the writer though. I mean, I know people who were lovers first and then became friends, or friends first and then became lovers, and now have the best of both worlds. So, maybe it's just the luck of the draw? Maybe it's fate? I'm not sure what it is really. I just know that if you're lucky enough to have someone in your life who is your best friend as well as your lover, you've won the lottery!

Hmm, perhaps I should go buy a ticket!


Cinderita said...

Definitely buy a ticket.

And I think if people are willing to be responsible for how the relationship went and then figuring out what works for both going forward, I think anything is possible, even men and women being best friends. I'm glad you have one of those!! Sounds delicious. In a platonic way of course.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I too love the Sunday paper. It is such a fun ritual for me and I will mourn its' loss when it does go.
The best of both worlds is knowing that when the normal inevitable ups and downs of life come along, you can have a friend and lover to share them with. Yvonne, I just know you will find someone like this. You are too spunky and interesting not to be scooped up soon!

Oilfield Trash said...

Don't feel bad, I read the paper every single day.

Belle said...

I don't know if I could stay friends with a guy after I had loved him etc. I doubt it. I've never had the opportunity, although my ex-husband did want to have an affair with me after I married this husband. I thought that to be quite odd!

Yvonne said...

Rita - Very delicious indeed! Oh and I bought the ticket, wish me luck! :)

YRJ- thanks doll! We shall see! As for the impending demise of the Sunday newspaper, I too, will mourn it's loss!

OT - I do too! It's a ritual going back to my teen years!

Belle - I've never had an ex-boyfriend as a friend. EVER. It's too weird for me. But I've witnessed great friendships stem from that too. said...

I don't like when people set hard and fast rules for others (e.g., "You can't ever be friends with an ex-lover.") Naturally, some people can. I think it's a matter of knowing what you can/can't handle. If that matches with the other person, then you're in luck - not as lucky as winning the lottery, though. I'll see you in line for a ticket, Yvonne!
Have a good weekend.

Anonymous said...

I love reading the Sunday paper.. it's very relaxing, especially over a cup of tea or coffee.. :)

Anyway, I think it's possible. To become friends with your ex-lovers. That is, if there's no hostile feelings left.. all is forgiven and both of you have moved on. I, myself, am friends with both of my ex-es.. However, the 3rd one.. I'm not so sure yet. We broke up only 4months ago, so I'd admit that I still feel angry at him. So for now, I cannot be friends with him.. But who knows, maybe in the future, we will be friends again. Once the pain disappears and the wound heals.. :)

Yeah, go buy a lottery ticket. hehe.. New follower, btw. Hope you'll follow back. Take care! :)

Yvonne said...

Robyn - HA! Very true, very true! I actually bought TWO -you know, desperate times and all... :)

Leah - Welcome and thanks so much for the follow! My 3 year old niece is named Leah. :)