Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Can I Borrow Your Eraser?

They say that, "that which does not kill you, makes you stronger."  I should be friggin Wonder Woman by now!  But I'm not.  In fact, I've been kind of a blob of emotions lately.  And I'm starting to get on my nerves! Life has been a proverbial bitch to me and to my family lately.  A series of "situations", "predicaments" and "realizations" have been raining on our parade as of late.  Despite this, we've all managed to get back up, to keep going, to continue fighting the good fight.  The thing is, sometimes, I have a harder time "getting back up" and "fighting the good fight."  than the others.  As those that read my blog on the regular know, I battle with bouts of depression.  The "episodes" come and go and with the help of a therapist and meds and good friends, (present bloggers/followers included) I get through.  But lately, I don't know if it's hormones or what, but I'm a basket case! I've been crying and having anxiety attacks a lot more frequently than is the norm.  Sometimes, I think that I'm just tired.  Of life in general.  I want a new one.  -Silly me.  But it's true, I want to escape.  Disappear from this which is my life for a while and go somewhere new.  Think about it, how cool would it be to start over? To create a new persona?  I think it would be incredible, don't you? Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way.  Sure, I could take off anywhere in the world and create a new identity and make new friends, etc. But I would never actually do it because I have ties here.  My family, my home, my life.  This led me to think about erasing our mistakes, or a part of the day we didn't like or creating one we did.  Kind of like an Etch a Sketch.  Yet another cool idea.  I know, I know, I'm totally "on" tonight!

Meh, life is life, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, the facts of life! -Sorry, I couldn't resist.  If you didn't get the reference, don't worry about it.  I'm a dork.  As for dealing with my blob of emotions, I'll just continue to do what I've been doing.  Praying, working out, meditating, keeping my chin up, and going forward. Always forward.  Oh and of course, laughter.  In fact, I think I see an I Love Lucy marathon in my future.

Well kids, that's it for tonight.  We're at midweek already, make it count!

7 comments:

Belle said...

I've gone through cycles like this too. And lots of times I have wanted to run away from my life. I picture myself in a cottage by the sea, all alone with no phone, just a TV.

Life is especially hard when family members are having problems. At least when they are your own problems you might be able to fix them. But other people's problems? Usually not.

I have to let go of my family's problems. If I don't, I am no good to myself or to them. It's the only way to save yourself! :)

Oilfield Trash said...

I know exactly how you feel.

Kelley said...

I hear you, Yvonne. Sometimes we have dark days. We just do. I pray that you have brighter ones very soon that make you happy to be just where you are!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Yes, just keep on, hon. Make sure to include the chocolate factory episode in your I Love Lucy Marathon. Loved your Facts of Life reference too.
Virtual hugs to you.
xoRobyn

Yvonne said...

Belle - Exactly! Sometimes it just gets to be too much!

OT - How do you cope?

Kelley - Thanks so much!

Robyn- That's one of my favorite episodes!!!! And yay for catching the F of L reference! :)

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

I have never wanted to escape my life for more then a few minutes as I love my family so much, but I have had times when I just want to crawl into bed and hide for a while till I think things will be easier.....of course I don't I have to get up each morning and carry on......even on the days when it is just so hard to do.......

I have often said that my sister Sue is one of the strongest women I know because of that saying..."what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" as she has been through a lot of shit in her life and she is her own worse enermy...........

I think knowing that we are not alone with these feelings helps us keep going day in and day out.......

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

You seem to deal pretty well, all in all. It can't be easy to deal with bouts of depression, but I like the way you talk it out and don't end up feeling sorry for yourself.
Hopefully this episode will end well for you soon and good idea to distract yourself with some good old TV shows.