Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Shopping for Men

No, no, you all must be thinking, "Oh! Yvonne found a store that sells men!" or, "That Yvonne! She's prowling perusing yet another dating site!"  Sorry to disappoint kids, but that's not what I meant in the title.  Nothing as exciting as that!  The real story is that my boss's birthday is tomorrow.  And I have to get him a gift.  Well, I don't really have to, but I want to.  I'm nice like that.  At any rate, during my lunch break, I headed to the nearest department store and frantically searched for the "perfect" gift.  What do you give a jerk?  He's not always one, mind you.  Just 97.5 percent of the time.  Kidding.  Maybe.  What to buy? What to buy? I had not a clue!  I just knew that I would know, as soon as I saw it!  I walked up and down the aisles in the men's department.  Soon enough, I found myself in the colognes section.  Mmmmm! I love, love, love men to smell good! It's one of my weaknesses.  I would be such an awesome girlfriend I tell you! Not only would my guy always smell great, but he'd look great too!  I actually enjoy shopping for men.  Sadly, I've not had one to shop for in a long time.  Well except for *Gustabo.  But he's my bestie, he doesn't really count.  Although, for Christmas last year I got him a new scent that he'd never worn before and it was way sexy! He loved it!  Actually, on my way home from the gym, I called to tell him about my shopping adventure.  "Too bad we're not dating, they had the most amazing clothes at the store!"  I told him excitedly.  He laughed out loud and then said, "Yeah, I know, same here with the girlfriend thing. I'd have you so spoiled!" Sigh, alas, we're not a couple.  "We could always pretend!" I told him. "Nah, that wouldn't work.  We'd buy each other stuff but not be able to enjoy all the benefits that a boyfriend and girlfriend enjoy!"  Dammit. He burst my bubble.  "Way to kill my dream *Gustabo!"  The rest of our conversation was complaining about our dating woes.  So anyway, I ended up buying a tie for my boss.  Yeah, yeah, I know, it's so "boring" and "predictable" But I honestly didn't know what to get him. You have to remember, this is the boss that makes cry sometimes and has me so stressed out I need alcohol on a regular basis! See, I don't really know him, know him.  He's very private.  And he's also only twenty-eight years old. (for a few more hours anyway)  Which made it more difficult to decide what to get him.  I figured that since he goes to court on a regular basis, I thought I'd get him a tie that screamed, "Success!".  And I did.  I'm glad because the ties he wears at times are b-uh-oring! Shh! Let's keep that to ourselves, shall we?

That was my Wednesday, how was yours?


Shady Del Knight said...

Our mutual friend Israel is currently my guest blogger, Yvonne. I thought you might want to show your support by coming over and learning a little more about his life and music. Thank you!

David Batista said...

I hate to admit it, but my wife is a terrible shopper for men (i.e., ME!). I buy 98% of all my own clothing, which I absolutely HATE doing but somebody has to. If I left it up to her I'd have to join a nudist colony.

Oilfield Trash said...

Men are easy to shop for if you know them really well. If not then I can see how it would be a problem.

Moby said...

I love it when my fiance shops for me! I hate the mall so bad.. Even more so the smells at the mall. I hate all the stinky people and perfumes and deoderants and gross greasy food... YUCK!

Plus she has way better style than me :)

You should read about Mobys Latest Purchase if you have some free time. I am a very dedicated follower! :)

Cinderita said...

Oh my GOD! I totally thought you were finding men on a dating site!! HA! Goes to show where my mind immediately goes!

Sandra said...

You're right! I totally thought you were out prowling for men!!! Good title!
So I've come to read you, but also to say: get working on that novel! I so can't wait for the day I buy a "signed" copy from you!!! So go write. Now! Go! Stop reading! Go now! I see you, you haven't left yet! :)

The Frisky Virgin said...

Sounds like you did really well. You really can't go wrong with a tie for a guy who wears ties. :)

Sounds way better than eating a rotten nut. :/

Rob Slaven said...

Hrm. I'll be interested to hear how this whole 'buying your male boss a gift' thing goes over. Perhaps I'm an old fogie, but part of me feels like this could be a bit awkward. Hopefully he doesn't show up the next day with flowers for you. ;)

Guys who are jerks 97.5% of the time can get the wrong idea in a heck of a hurry. :)

Good luck!

Jennifer Brown Banks said...


I'm always greatly entertained and engaged whenever I stop by. Thanks for sharing. And congrats on the growing followers!

Yvonne said...

Shady - thanks for the heads up!

David - really? haha! i'm wondering how much better you fare at it than your wife! :)

OT- Yes, super easy when it's someone I know!

Moby - thanks for your comments! I will check out your blog as well! You're lucky that your wife has better taste and shops for you!

Rita - I knew it! :)

Sandra- yay! I like when you come visit! Girl, I'm tryin! I wrote two chapters this weekend. That's huge for me!

FV- yes, definitely way better than eating a bad nut! ;)

Rob- Thanks for the follow! Welcome to my chaos! As for the gift, nah, he knows it was an employee giving an employer a gift as a good gesture. But I agree with you, guys are jerks! :)

Jennifer- I'm always humbled when you drop by and comment! Glad I entertain you! lol And thanks!!! I'm excited about that myself! :)

Anonymous said...

I need to get a job so I can spoil my boyfriend. On occasion I get him food and money to repay stuff he gets me like awesome stuffed animals and a few shirts and such, but I do agree when you like a nice smelling man.

Shhh don't tell Cam this but I think he smells wonderful even without cologne/body spray, but there is this one brand Bod that has this really ripped abs and surprisingly it smells really good...When he's not jokingly spraying it all over me! HAHA