Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Sex-piration date

Last night, while catching up on reading other blogs, I came across a “commenter” that mentioned in passing something about not having a “Sex-piration date” and that struck me as hilarious. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I started thinking (yes, be afraid!) how weird it would be if we were all given a “Sex-piration date” at birth. Imagine, maybe the doctor or the stork, before handing us over to our parents, stamping a big “sex-piration date” on a discreet part of our body, maybe the butt? Male and female alike would have dates that they would have to stop having sex. I have friends (who shall remain nameless) that cannot live without sex. They have to have it all the time. And I’m not bad-mouthing that notion at all! More power to us them! But what would our lives be like if we had a cut-off date that no longer allowed us to get busy, get it on, do the horizontal mambo, (ok just typing "horizontal mambo"  made me a little sick! who says that anymore!?) whenever we wanted to? Worlds would collide! That’s what would happen! Disasters of epic proportions would ensue! I suppose Mother Nature got the last laugh after all, otherwise, why would women have menopause to look forward to in the future? That’s kind of a sex-piration date if ever I saw one! We’re doomed.

10 comments:

Underground Dude said...

I've told myself I'm in a state of celibacy for a while until I figure some life things out...

Now I'm wondering if I've just reached this sexpiration date you speak of and it's my unconscious way of comforting myself...

Oh god...THE HORROR!!!!!

Cinderita said...

Well given that we never forget how...it's just a question of when really. So no sexpiration date is required...

David Batista said...

If we had a sexipiration date . . . a lot more babies would be born as everyone would rush to get as much sex out of the way as possible before their time runs out. :) Our whole culture would change to revolve around sexpiration orgies. People with identical or close enough expiration dates, getting together and, er, dancing the mambo horizontally.

Btw, my wife still uses that phrase. She has for as long as I've known her. LOL!

Random Girl said...

A sexpiration date!?! *shudders in horror* I cannot imagine a crueler fate. What would I do with my free time? What would I look forward to?? Ok, maybe I need a new hobby but still....if I have one, I don't want to know about it!!

Krissy said...

This would probably help the old-folks homes that have STD's running rampant. Ha! At least I can use the sex-piration date as an excuse for my lack of it.

Oilfield Trash said...

Interesting concept.

I am pretty sure Hugh Heffner's is when he dies. lol

Belle said...

My mom worked at a rest home once. I don't think too many people lose their sex drive! There was a lot of pairing off and room visiting going on!

Average Girl said...

I may not have an sex-piration date, but I am pretty aware of the fact that I have an expiration date, so let's hope that I am having good sex when that date occurs!

Yvonne said...

UD- Yeah I keep telling myself that exact same thing!

Rita - ha! true!

David - "Sexpiration orgies" haha, I love that! So SHE'S the one that uses that phrase! :)

RG- thanks for the follow! Ha! What a cruel, cruel world it would be!

Krissy - ahahha! that's hilarious!

OT- You think? Who would you say could take his place?

Belle- Hmm, seems I have to find a rest home stat!

AG- I hear that! :)

The Adorkable Ditz said...

I'll look for that stamp and I'll get back to you on mine... :P

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/