I was talking to my friend Michelle (you know, aka the Musketeer, aka, Coca-cola -CC for short) this evening on my way home. We were playing catch-up, as it had been a few days since we'd last spoken. Man! What a couple of Debbie Downers we were! I'd originally called her to chat and to see if she could get me out of this "funk" that I seem to have fallen into. But upon hearing her voice, I realized she was pretty much in the same boat! We laughed and decided that we'd have to pull our negativity together and beat it down! For me, my "funk" or lack of motivation lately, has a lot to do with worries and stresses at home. Worries and stresses that I really don't want to discuss. So I carry all that inside and sometimes, I need to vent and of course, being the girl that I am, along with venting come tears. Lots of tears. Bleh! I'm such a whimp sometimes. So after pouring my heart out to Michelle, she did the same to me. For those reading my blog for the first time, let me give you some background on the Musketeers. I have two girlfriends, Michelle, who I am talking about right now, and Maricela. I absolutely love and respect them. We're like sisters, interchanging the order of birth according to whatever mishap or success we have wrought into our lives. Sometimes, (ok a lot of times) I'm the little sister, sometimes, I'm the big sister and sometimes I'm just their conscience! And the same goes for them. Got it? Good. Let's move on. So Michelle is this beautiful, very attractive girl. She's that way on the inside and out. I don't call her Coca-cola for nothing! -Side note, I gave her that nickname because she's shaped like a coca-cola bottle. Anyway, tonight I was surprised to learn that she is struggling with something that I (or anyone else that knows her I'm sure) would have ever guessed. I won't divulge what that is because it's not for me to do so. But it's something that makes her terribly unhappy. After she told me, I tried as best I could, to make her feel better. We ended up cracking up about our "dilemmas" and promised to STOP THE INSANITY! We then started talking about all of those people that are so much less fortunate than we are. We recalled a story that came out of the local news sometime last year ( I'm not sure about the time frame) about a woman who contracted a staph infection right after giving birth. It was so bad that the doctors had to amputate her limbs. So her life now revolves around a newborn and a wheelchair designed especially for her. She 'll never carry the baby in her arms, because she has none, she'll never chase the baby because she has no legs. But the most amazing part of that story is that that woman is as happy as can be! Shame on us right?
"At least you have all of your limbs Mich." I said. "Yeah I know, I know..." she replied. And then we randomly began throwing out "At leasts" Here are a few I wanted to share:
At least we can see
At least we have a job
At least we have a family. They drive us crazy but they're our family, nonetheless.
At least we have our health.
At least we have a car.
At least we can love, there are many people in this world that can't.
Somehow, after our conversation and going over our "lists", feeling sorry for ourselves just seemed wrong. But you see, no matter how much I understand and am able to appreciate all that I have, I still on occasion feel bad. It's more than "the blues". I battle with depression on a daily basis. I have for many years now. It comes in cycles. Up and down like a roller coaster. Right now, I happen to be on a downward slope, but I refuse to get stuck there. The "episodes" don't last long, most of the times.
Having friends like Michelle and Maricela and *Gustabo, is essential for my "get better" regimen. And having people that read my blog and hopefully enjoy it or relate to it somehow, also makes me feel good. I realize this post may be a little "all over the place" but my mind does not operate in "structure" at all.
How about you? Do you make "At least" lists in your lives?