Conversation With A Friend...

Dating is hard, I get that. It's also cumbersome, and stressful, and at the moment, non-existent for me! lol -I hate it. And yet, like a bad car wreck, I keep coming back for more! As I get older, I realize that what I thought important in my 30s is not so much now, in my 40s. I've grown to accept people as they are and not try to change them, because come on, realistically, you and I both know that we can only change ourselves. I also realized that guys have it pretty bad too -out there in Datingland a/k/a Disneyland! (you never know what kind of character you're going to get!) Case in point, I was talking to my friend Inmar the other night. We were discussing our dating life -a figment of both our imaginations apparently! So he was going on about how it's so difficult to meet someone that you have a connection with or a flicker of a connection with for that matter! Inmar is a nice looking guy, nice eyes, hails from New York(don't worry, I won't hold that part against you!)and has the accent to prove it! Plus he's a good dancer (we've "got low, got low" on occassion) and has a good job and a home, basically a really nice guy. "So what's the problem???" I asked him. "Why are you still single? Why aren't you dating anyone?" He hummed and hawed for a bit before responding. He said that he really "didn't know". There. Simple. A man of few words! lol But I totally understood because I always answer the same way when I am asked that question, "I don't know." Hell! If I knew, I would bottle it up and copyright it and be a billionaire! He went on to say that it's not just women who have a hard time. But society always deems it as such. I asked him to give me examples of the type of woman he is attracted to. He said he didn't have a specific "type" per se, but that he always knew when he saw her. Then it was my turn, "What's your type?" I thought about it, and used his same response with an addendum, "He's got to stimulate my mind." To which, he cried, "bullshit!" and laughed. But it's true! I get excited when a man knows how to talk to me. Not just "hey, hi how are you?" I mean, really speak to me, to all of me. Flirt with my intelligence, get me worked up but by using your words. That is what I like. Well, it's not ALL I like of course! But being savvy and charming goes a long way with me. Then again, what the heck do I know? I'm still single! lol

Sigh, I try not to dwell so much on that anymore. It's wasted energy. I then informed my friend that until I was in a place where I wanted to be, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, then dating just seemed counterproductive to me. He lauged and said I just needed to get laid. Ha! Well, that's beside the point and for another time and another blog!

Always a pleasure talking to you sweetie! :)