Sunday, January 31, 2016
Color me confused
Who came up with the idea that adult coloring books would be therapeutic? Have you actually seen one of those coloring books? I mean really looked at one? Well you shouldn't. I was given three as gifts recently. Sometimes, when I'm visiting my nieces or nephews I help them color. I like to color. Or I used to. So when I was given these adult coloring books I was
a little very excited to say the least. On one recent Friday night, I went to the quiet corner of my room. It's where I sit and write/think/create or plot one of my stories or a poem or how to kill my ex (only in my dreams of course) I got all comfy, brought along a glass of wine, turned on some jazz and opened up one of the coloring books. The cover to the one I opened was a bunch of sunflowers and daisies. How pretty! I thought to myself. Well, I looked at the first page and thought, "no that's too complicated" and then turned the page and thought, "no that looks like too much trouble" and yet again the next page and the next one after that. All the same. Wtf? These things even came with instructions on how to color. NO.I.AM.NOT.KIDDING. Who needs instructions to friggin' color??? Apparently adults do. I mean, they have graphs and color scheme suggestions, the "right" way to color vs. the "wrong" way to color. Good lord I'm getting a headache just thinking about this again. I almost called my friend who gave these to me to cuss her out. Almost. But I didn't. Instead, I took a sip of wine big swig of my wine and downed that sucker before taking a special pencil to begin my masterpiece. Oh did I mention that you can't use regular crayons for these coloring books? No really, you can't. You have to use these special pencils. Whatever. For the next twenty minutes or so, I proceeded to color one, yes I said ONE sun flower before throwing the pencil across the room in disgust. What a way to crush my dreams you adult coloring book maker you, whoever you are. Those things are as interesting as looking at a floor plan or an algebra problem. (No offense floor plan makers or algebra teachers) That night I got drunk on wine and watched bad 70s sitcoms instead. The next day, I went to visit my nephew and asked him where his colors and coloring books were. And for the the next hour or so, I colored Superheroes and Thomas the Train and felt sooo much better. And I used real colors of the Crayola 48 kind. Take THAT adult coloring books!