Tuesday, October 15, 2013

breaking up is hard to do -so is forgetting...

this break-up business is for the birds.  seriously.  i'm so ready to be over it and yet, here i am, writing about not being able to be over it.  this blows.  and not in a good way.  while it's gotten a little bit easier, and by that i mean, i'm not crying every five minutes, it's still difficult for my heart to assimilate what my head already has.  i have good days and bad days and then days that just need not to be spoken of, ever again.  i've gone through my "i'm gonna drink myself into oblivion" phase, my anger phase, my feeling sorry for myself phase and now, i'm in the "miss him so much i can't stand myself" phase.  yeah. that's where i am right now.  oh i've been keeping myself busy.  doing all the right things one does when trying to get over someone.  and it helps, it really does, to have a support system readily available to you.  my support crew is awesome.  but even with that, when you're alone, winding down after a long day, with only yourself to keep you company, that's when it gets a little crazy.  a lot of times i just want to shut off  this mind of mine.  just tell it to stop playing scenes over and over in my head. but it doesn't listen, dammit.  it just doesn't listen.  meh.  i know it's going to get better. and i will be better.  eventually.

funny thing about breaking up with someone, all of a sudden, everyone's got a friend that they would just LOVE you to meet.  i love them for trying but please, give me some space and lots and lots of time.  the last thing i need right now is to jump into another relationship.  still, i can guarantee that my friends will not stop trying.  especially now, since the holidays are almost upon us.  i'm thinking of starting my own order of nuns.  what do you think?  i know my stuff. i'm catholic, went to catholic school for twelve years.  know the nuns' habits (see what i did there?)  and am sure i can recruit at least five other women like me.  heh.  think it'll fly?  yeah, me either.

alright, that's my cue to go night night.  tomorrow is another day.  make it count bloggies.  and if you're still reading, you're awesome.  thanks for the support.

come back in a few days.  we'll catch up, sing kumbaya and hug.  kidding.  no really, i'm kidding.

is it friday yet???


David Batista said...

We must be living the same life or something, jeez. You're the girl version, I'm the boy version of the same ol' coin. I know what it's like to be told by friends to go out there and meet someone new. Blech! It's not time yet for that. How can it be when you're still reliving scenes of the two of you together during happier times in your head?

So, I hear ya! But you could never start a nunnery, my dear. No more wine. No more margaritas! What's the point of life then? Haha! :)

The advice I give myself is to just keep looking ahead and move forward. When you feel yourself dwelling on what used to be -- stop it! And stop it quick!

Easier said that done, I know. But it works half the time.

Robin said...

Unfortunately, this is all part of it. You must allow yourself to feel all of these yucky things so that you are able to move forward. It sounds like you are actually progressing well. Eventually you won't miss him anymore. Probably go through a period when you focus on his bad traits, because that always aids in moving on. When you get to the place that you remember the good stuff and it doesn't hurt, you're there.

Hang in, my friend. You're doing great.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I've heard it said that the bad in life makes the good even better. Not sure I agree, but let's hope there's some reason why crappy things have to happen, huh?! ;)
This too shall pass- and hopefully sooner than later!

Yvonne said...

David- ahahaha! you know me well! i'm better today. i know you're dealing with this as well, and i know you're going to be just fine, too. we both are. -you need to come to houston and visit me. and let's invite jen and really go bananas! ha!

Robin- thank you. yeah, i'm almost there but not quite. i'll be fine. :)

YRJ- Amen sister!

David Batista said...

Oh, don't worry. I will be in Houston at some point. Don't know when, but my brother's been living there for a few years now and I have yet to visit him. He's starting to get mad. :) I would like to say sometime in 2014, but don't hold me to that. It could happen, though. Whenever I do, you'll be the second to know! Haha.

Yvonne said...

David- yay!ha!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

So sorry for your heartache. It shouldn't be so emotionally costly to invest in someone. Dangit. I'm with you on the commune. I've plotted one for years. I'm going to be the World's first Jewish Founder of a Monastery. We'll join forces and have lots of chocolate.

Big hugs to you.

Yvonne said...

Robyn- Chocolate sounds like heaven right now!