breaking up with someone is a lot like death. you mourn the loss. you grieve for what used to be. you cry. a lot. a whole lot. the end of any relationship is devastating for sure. the silver linings are there. but we're so caught up in our grief that we don't see them. but in time, we do.
time. it's been said that time heals all wounds. i've always liked that saying, because it rings true to me. time does heal you, make you stronger and sometimes wiser. so i'm counting on time, to do the same for me. but what about the immense sadness that envelops you? the tears eventually stop, but the sadness clings to your soul.
so the relationship i vaguely mentioned to you, with the man i met in december, ended on friday. no need to go into petty details, just know that it was the best decision, for me. and that's all that matters. however, my heart, seems to think otherwise. i haven't cried this much in years. i feel lost and confused and so sad. so very sad. our time together was brief, but so much happened in so little time.
still, i would not change anything that transpired these past few months. nothing. not one thing. this relationship brought me a lot of happies, and experiences and love. love came to me finally. no it didn't last. and no, he wasn't the one. but he was the one that showed me that i was capable of loving and being loved. and for that, i am grateful.
don't get me wrong, i'm also pissed and hurt and have plotted bouts of revenge in my head, but that's normal. isn't it? a friend of mine, told me over the weekend, as i was crying my eyes out, that i should get back at him. but i won't. it's done. no need to look back or dwell on situations that have no solution. and? i would only hurt myself in the process anyway. no, instead, i'm going to get a doll that resembles him and stick needles in his eyes whenever i feel the urge to cause him bodily harm. better don't you think? that way no jail time, duh.
silver linings everywhere...
it's sunday kids, make it a great week.