My heart so full of love
it overflows
I long to share with you
but you are not here
Life can be cruel -yvonne
Is it me? Or do the holidays make you super emotional and sappy? -more so than usual. No? Just me? Figures. Well I am, super emotional and extra sappy these days. Not really in the "woe is me" kind of way. More like, "When is it my turn?" kind of way. What am I rambling about? Why, life of course. And men, And relationships -with myself and with others. And self-fulfillment and being happy with yourself and your life. That's what I'm talking about. This time of year, for me, is always about taking inventory of the past year and asking myself if I was successful? Did I reach my goals? Or if I failed, did I learn from my mistakes? Did I become a better person, daughter, sister, friend, lover? Oh come on, doesn't everyone ask themselves these questions? Wait. Don't tell me. And oh em gee, do I get sappy! I'm crying at the drop of a hat, everything is so sweet, so romantic, so ridiculously happy. And that's when it hits me. I'm alone. I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone. I guess this time of year just reminds me of that little fact of my life. And it bugs the hell out of me. I try to get past it because let's be serious, living your life every day in a tizzy because you're not dating anyone is just ridiculous, wouldn't you agree? Yeah, me too. Ugh. See what I mean? I should go hibernate with the bears and resurface in the Spring. Or whenever they come back out. I don't even get this way during Valentine's Day. But not to fret my friends, this is only a temporary bout of insanity. I'll be fine after the new year.
Alright. Enough of that. It's the first week of December and you know what that means right? It means starting this coming Saturday, I will turn into a social butterfly until New Year's Day. This month is always a busy one for me. As some of you may know, lawyers love to party in December. (well, pretty much all year, but in December they go into overdrive) My boss has given me my list of parties he would like me to attend and "market" our firm, not to mention all of my own parties I plan on attending, strictly for pleasure. So yeah, it's about to get C-R-A-Z-Y up in here. Which leaves little time to wallow in a pity party, wouldn't you agree?
I actually feel a lot better having written down my feelings. Sometimes, that's all you need to pick yourself up. This is why my blog is so important to me, it's my sanctuary. Comments or no comments, it's my reasoning in this world of confusion.
Thanks for being so great! Do me a favor, go out and so something amazing for yourselves.
And remember, Santa's watching.
5 comments:
Oh my gosh. Yvonne. I SO know that conversation. I so know it. and you know.it can drive us mental at times. I don't know if it will make a difference, but it was a practice I took on when I couldn't stand to be sad about the fact that I was alone over the holidays. i started the Advent Calendar of Gratitude. Where every day on FB I would share about someone I was grateful for. Every single day or the month of December. Every day. People told me they would come to check to see if it was them because they loved the anticipation of it. I don't know if it's something you'd be willing to do, but I tell you...gratitude sure does shift our thinking...even when we're busy...those thoughts do still creep in.
Just a thought. xo
Completely understand what you mean. I think it's impossible not to feel it when things just haven't quite worked out the way you thought they would. It's so easy to dwell in darkness--it's much harder to forge ahead and stay in the light of hope. The whole hope thing can really tick me off sometimes, but it never goes away, does it? Maybe there's some cosmic meaning for how hope seems to survive within our darkest moments. Does this make ANY sense?! lol
*HUGS*
Rita- I like that idea and I'm going to give it a try. I'm feeling better, more like myself today, but finding reasons to be grateful definitely keeps things in perspective. Thanks for sharing!
FV- Definitely made sense to me. Yeah, the "hope" thing and the "when you least expect it" thing makes me want to punch someone, but what are we, if we have no hope?
I understand, girlfriend. Hang tough, and do something amazing for you.
xoRobyn
Robyn - :)
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