Friday, June 8, 2012

To The Moon!

The  Red Writing Hood prompt this week:.  Write up to 500 words, fiction or non-fiction, which includes the words, "to the moon."  Here is my attempt:

For Sydney

I hate when my parents fight.  Usually it's after they've both had one too many. It never fails, each time we have a get together at our house, big or small, the night always ends in my parents getting into a huge fight. Sometimes they are so loud and out of control that the neighbors call the police. I hate it so much! Alone in my room, I turn up the stereo to drown out their yelling. I turn on the tv and turn up the sound as loud as it will go, to drown out their voices. And I sit in the middle of my bed, cross-legged, eyes closed and dreaming of anywhere but here. Being fourteen should not suck this bad!  Suddenly I feel someone's hand on my face. I open my eyes and see that it's my mom. "What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" And then my father appears, "Turn this noise off! You crazy or somethin?" He says in his broken English.  Both of them are visibly intoxicated. My mom's look of concern makes me want to throw up! She gives me a kiss on the cheek and I can smell the vodka on her breath.

"Sydney, is everything alright? You're acting crazy." says my mom to me.

"Really mom? You think something is wrong with ME? I'M acting crazy? You and dad are the ones yelling like idiots and throwing stuff everywhere, but you think something is wrong with ME?"

"Did you just call us idiots?" my dad asks, well, yells it out is more like it. Because obviously me calling them a name is far more  important than how I am feeling, right? Of course.

I ignore him and tell both of them to get out of my room and to shut the door on their way out, please and thank you!

They glare at me for a minute but in the end, they do as I say. Instantly, I'm back in my escape. I get up to lock the door. Turn the tv back on, but this time mute the sound, turn the music back on, but not as loud as before, and I resume my position on the bed. Only this time, I sit closer to the window.  It's almost midnight.  I lift the curtain a little, enough to catch a glimpse of the night sky.  It's a clear night.  There are a lot of stars out.  And then I see it.  Standing so proudly, so bold, so bright.  Even through the naked eye, it appears far, but not unreachable.  I bet no one yells up there!  And that's when I decided that I on my summer vacation, I would go to the moon.


Tessa said...

Very well written. I enjoyed it!

Anonymous said...

You captured the tone of a teen very well. I especially liked the part when she called them idiots and didn't expect to get in trouble for it. It's understandable to think your parents are idiots (especially if they are, as in this) but calling them idiots is not the best way to gain their sympathy.

Good job with the prompt.

Lindy Phippen Smith said...

I'm feeling horrible for your 14 year old self. I remember when my parents fought it made me feel scared and uncertain. Loved your last line.

Shelton Keys Dunning said...

I'm cringing. The moon would be a nice place to go, certainly, especially after that exchange.

susanwritesprecise said...

Excellent! I was right there with you.

Yvonne said...

Tessa- thank you! I appreciate your words.

Reticentwriter- Thanks! Yeah, I channeled my inner teen and also, a few of my nieces for this piece. :)

Lindy- I appreciate that, thank you. When my parents used to fight, my sister and I would huddle together on the bed and sing to each other. -trying to die out their yelling, but it never worked. :(

Shelton- Yes, wouldn't it be be grand? I myself, have longed to escape there many times.

Susan- Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

That was really good! You captured a lot of emotion in that short piece. I struggle with flash fiction, especially when there's a rule. But you managed to work in 'to the moon' quite nicely. All I kept thinking was Ralph Kramden!

dontpanic2011 said...

Well written. I work with many a teenager who has gone through this kind of scene on a regular basis and I think you captured the essence of it very well. Nice job!

Yvonne said...

Insomniac- Ha! I kept thinking of good ol' Ralphie, as well!

Wisper- Thank you!

ayan said...

thank you for sharing

ayan said...

thank you for sharing

ghulam sarwar said...

nice work

ghulam sarwar said...

nice work

Anonymous said...

You nailed the feeling of a teen listening to her parents fight and even more, the feeling of a child of alcoholics.

Yvonne said...

Mandyland- Thanks! I tried to evoke s much raw emotion as I could, for the teen.

Jennifer Hillier said...

Great piece, Yvonne! You did a good job of portraying Sydney's frustration at her parents' arguing (something I remember all too well from my teen years). Well done!

Yvonne said...

Jennifer- Thanks! Glad you liked it. Sadly, I too, remember those arguments from my parentals... said...

Very powerful, and I love the ending, Yvonne. Nicely done.


Yvonne said...

Robyn- Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it!

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