Saturday, January 28, 2012

breaking hearts, one man at a time...

woe the life of a single woman.  i went to meet some friends for happy hour on friday night. i was lectured, hit on,  and mesmerized by three different men.  did you read the part where i said THREE different men? -just checking.  the venue we were all meeting was new to me.  i'd only just this morning read up on it to see if i even wanted to go.  i liked what i read and the pictures looked inviting.  it was a swanky restaurant, built along side the bayou in a very nice part of the city.  the bar that  had a patio and cabanas and tiki lamps (for nocturnal purposes).  the place was pretty chic. so off i went.  i met my group of friends and engaged in the usual banter.  our group was uneven, there were six women to our three men.  but it was fine, we all knew each other and were busy yacking away, catching up on the latest.  after a while i left in search of the powder room.  it was while i was en route, that i bumped into (literally) victim bachelor number one.  i apologized for bumping into him and for spilling his drink.  -what? did you think i was kidding? he laughed it off and brushed the droplets from the drink, off of his sweater.  he then smiled and asked if "this" ever worked?  huh?  apparently, bachelor number one, thought i purposely bumped into him.  to meet him.  ha.  um, no. sorry to disappoint you, but i didn't do it on purpose.  he didn't believe me.  we then engaged in a half hour conversation about the "gimmicks" (his word not mine) that women use to get a man's attention. i indulged him, nodded my head when i thought appropriate and smiled.  he told me i was going about it all wrong.  that "guys don't like that" -"you should just buy us a drink and start there, or flash us a boob" said he, flashing a smile.  -yeah.  he said "flash us a boob."  now, this guy was dressed very nicely. and looked intelligent.  but oh how looks can so deceiving!  i thanked him profusely for making me see the error of my ways and then waved buh-bye.  no sooner had i made my way back to my friends when victim bachelor number two appeared.  this guy was a friend of a friend.  he quickly showed me his rolex.  no really, he did. i guess he needed me to see he could afford one? i dunno.  so this guy wastes no time.  in a matter of three minutes tops, he buys me a drink, asks me why i'm here all alone, and then asks if i want to go somewhere to "talk" because apparently, that's not what were doing here.  again, i smiled and nodded and then declined on his most gracious invitation.  to which he rebounds with, "look, my ferrari is out front.  let's go for a ride."  seriously?  "how old are you?' i asked.  he proudly told me he was twenty-four and then showed me his college ring. ha.  really he did.  i told him i wanted to stay with my friends,  but thanks anyway.  he then stomps away mad.  i could see the pout on his lips.  my friends are literally laughing their asses off.  At MY expense!  But before i have a chance to address them, victim bachelor number three walks into my life.  he was a coworker of one of my friends.  this guy was charming, smooth and very cocky. but in a way that didn't scream, "asshole".  we talked, danced and laughed the rest of the evening.  in fact, we really hit it off.  BUT he's not from here.  he lives in chicago.  he's here on business.  he's "sorta" seeing someone.  they just met.  and that, was that.  this guy paid me the best compliment though.  in fact, i'm not even to tell you guys what he told me.  not yet.  but rest assured, it will keep this silly grin on my face all weekend.

as far as happy hours go, this by far, was the most interesting one i have been to in a long time.

that way my evening.  how was yours?


Mynx said...

Never rains but it pours lol
But great for the ego anyway

Random Girl said...

feast or famine...that's how it runs for me as well. You go girl!!

Belle said...

I really want to hear the compliment. Ahh, there is nothing so nice as being hit on all night!! Yea for you!

David Batista said...

What's a gal to do? :)

But I like how you keep your cool and put the fools in their place. Bravo!

Jo-Anne's Rambling said...

Talk about an ego boost

Yvonne said...

Mynx- HA! I know, it did wonders!

RG- It was surreal! But hilarious and awesome at the same time!

Belle- ;) Thanks Belle! I ate that right up!

David- Thanks! I try! :) Your breed is crazy though!!! ha!

Jo Ann- yes it definitely was!

Deus Ex Machina said...

The last time a guy hit on me was in the Food Lion parking lot a couple months ago. And this is VERBATIM... as in.. NOT an exaggeration-

Okay, so I'm walking to my car, right. He's walking to the store. I see him staring. I avert my eyes to avoid giving him the "I'm open for conversation" vibe. It doesn't work. Guy stops dead in his tracks and says, "Wow, how tall are you? You are SO SEXY. I LOVE short girls! (insert stuttering) Oh WOW, I cannot believe I just said that! You probably think I'm a creep, don't you?!"

Me- ", you're not a creep...yeah, that was sweet....okay, buh bye!"

Him- Continues to stare as I get in the truck....

Me- Squeals tires as I leave the parking lot.

Yeah....umm.... he was a total CREEP. said...

At least #3 was a charm. I hate the flaunting of money/material items. Those "Ricky Rich" types think money buys them anything & anyone.

My nights have been extremely boring, especially compared to yours.
Keep enjoying.

Be well, Yvonne.

Yvonne said...

Deus Ex Machina - HA! That IS kinda creepy! I think I would have run to my car!

RR- Boys will be boys, I guess! ha!

The Frisky Virgin said...

Um, bachelor number one needs to check his ego at the door. Damn.

Bachelor number two was an immature idiot. When will men realize that the down-to-earth women are not impressed by material things? His stomping off showed his age, too.

Bachelor number three...hmm...sorta seeing someone, but sounds as though he was interested in you. OF course he would have to live elsewhere.

Um, yeah, you need to share the compliment. ;)

Yvonne said...

FV- ha! I think I'll keep it to myself a little while longer. But yes, the young guy was SO showing his age! lol