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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Pity Party for One

Sometimes, I feel hopeless and drained. 

I want to quit. 

Everything. 

Sometimes I don't want get back up, after having fallen, yet again.

Today I did something I had not done in a long, long, time.  I asked the infamous questions,

"Why me?" and,
"Why not me?"

I know, I know, how very selfish of me right?  Just call me Debbie Downer.  I just felt defeated. 
Sucker-punched and so tired.  It's not just one thing, it's one thing, after another, after another, after another.  Really, how much can one person take?  Yes I know I am not really making sense, well, only to me.  Indulge me, kind readers.  I'm having a moment I guess. I know it will pass and all will be rainbows and roses again in my world.  It always is because I'm not really a quitter.  And I hate to lose.  

I've veered off the path temporarily but am working my way back, I'm almost there.

Ugh! This poor excuse of a post is brought to you by "My mind won't stop going in circles".

12 comments:

Jewels said...

We all have times like this. Times where putting things into perspective and realizing that it isn't as bad as we think it is, is just too hard to do. I am a firm believer in not beating myself up when this happens because it is normal and expected (at least for me it is).

Breathe and remember that just realizing that you are doing it is more than half the battle. Also, no need to say sorry for the post...venting and getting thoughts out of your head is one of the reasons you have the blog/us. :)

David Batista said...

When I feel like this, I always find that a very long and good night's sleep does the trick. It resets the clock and all the crappy stuff going on in my life doesn't seem so bad in the light of a new day.

Well, that is if you can stop your mind from going in circles long enough to fall asleep.

Hang in there!

Random Girl said...

As my darling, sweet mother says in her favorite quote "This too shall pass" and it always does. The troughs in life can kick our ass and leave us questioning everything, and sometimes they seem to last far too long but one thing you know for sure is that each trough is just on its way to another peak and so it really change sooner rather than later. Find small victories in each day in the meantime. Enduring is a victory of strength in itself. Wishing you a better day today!

myjoyproject said...

Hey gorgeous... I like to remember that the Universe will never throw anything at me that I can't handle, and I have discovered (like you undoubtably are) that I can handle A LOT!

Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling, then move on from it onto something else. My love list yesterday did wonders for my mood!!

Much love ox
Kelly

Yvonne said...

Jewels - Thank you for your words. They mean a lot and I agree, after my melt down I see things in different perspective. I beat myself up pretty bad always. It's my nature. I am trying to stop that craziness!

David - So true! After all the crying last night I had NO problem falling asleep! Much better today, thanks! :)

RG- I also am notorious for saying that "This too, shall pass" It's one of my favorite quotes! I'm having a better day. And most definitely celebrating the "small victories" :)

Kelly - thanks so much! I'm going to work on that list tonight! :)

Belle said...

I get this way too, it is natural. I used to think, "I just got up and now I'm knocked down again." You don't sound like you have given up, and that is a great thing.

Oilfield Trash said...

Contrary to popular belief I feel the same way you do all the time.

Yvonne said...

Belle - That's how Ifeel, as if all this work and progress I've made has been for naught. It's eating me up inside. And no, I haven't given up but it's always there...

OT- Whyyy You're one of the most greatest dads I know and you're a "GOOD" man. No reason to feel like that all the time, my friend!

ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

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ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

Take 5-htp, Fish oil omega 3s, and DMAE and/or GABA it should help with the depression. I speak from experience on this. It will make u feel more balanced. :)

The Frisky Virgin said...

EVERYONE feels this way--I promise you are not alone, even though it can feel that way sometimes. The "Why me" and "Why not me" questions are just vicious, aren't they?

Try and watch a movie you can get lost in or a t.v. show that engages your mind. True Blood is coming up!!! That's always fun.

Just know you have people who care about you right here, just an e-mail away. *Hugs*

Yvonne said...

Israel - I started taking it today, as a matter of fact. I didn't give it a chance the first time your suggested I take it. I'm hoping this time, it will help me. Thanks for your suggestion! :)

FV- Hey sweets! Yep. Those questions suck. :) I'm MUCH better today. I was just having a moment and gave into it. Life is complicated, but good.