Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Life Happens.

Life happens sometimes, we all know that.  Circumstances have led my sister and my 5 year old nephew to move in with me and my mom.  To refresh your memory, I moved back with my mom in August.  So, my sissy moved in almost two weeks ago.  Now, let me preface by saying that I adore my nephew. He's the apple of my eye, he's our own little "Survivor" (At only one day old he had major heart surgery and has had 5 subsequent surgeries.  Not to worry, the doctors have since given him a clean bill of health) but if I hear the Mickey Mouse theme song or "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round..." one more time I'm going to scream!  Oh.My.God.  Seriously! He never gets tired.  Never wants to just sit and color or read a book. Oh no! We have to play "monster" or hide and seek or play football or catch.  All.the.time.  He's also decided that he is going to stick to me like glue.  The minute I walk in the door he's following me around.  Talking to me. Asking me questions. Endless questions.

Ethan:  "Why you go to work aunt Yvonne?"
Me:  "Because I have to make money."
Ethan: "But why?"
Me: "So I can buy you things."
Ethan: "But why? Oh, are you going to buy me a prize?"
Me: "Only if you're a good boy and let aunt Yvonne rest."
Ethan: "But why you wanna rest aunt Yvonne?"
Me: "Because I'm tired."
Ethan: "But why?"

That's every day.  Sigh, I am running out of patience.  I guess I know now why I don't have any children of my own! My tolerance level is only good for a few hours at best. But as I originally stated, Life happens.

Something else that's been weighing heavily on my mind is my sister.  She's currently separated from her husband -again.  What is it about some people that makes us fall victim to verbal and emotional abuse so easily? She's left him before but he always manages to convince her to go back. Usually, he uses Ethan as his pawn, making her feel guilty for taking him away from his daddy.  -What a bunch of crap! I can't stand him.  He knows it. She knows it. Everyone knows it.  He hates me.  Probably because I am not afraid of him and have more than once stood up to him.  But he's an idiot. And I do not speak that language.  My sister is falling apart at the seams and I don't know how to help her get through this.  I know she's still assimilating her situation and trying to figure out her next move.  I know the last thing she needs is me coming down on her or pressuring her to make decisions that she herself, is not ready to make.  So I'm giving her space. That cannot be said of the rest of the family, however.  Everyone puts their two cents in, everyone knows best.  Everyone is quick to say, "If it was me..."  Well guess what? It isn't you.  No one has the right to claim to know what is best because they are not in her shoes.  Meh! Sometimes my family is nosier than Mrs. Kravitz ever was! (Mrs. Kravitz, for those to young to remember, was the "nosy neighbor" character on Bewitched). I worry a lot about her emotional state.  Out of my brothers and myself, she is the strongest.  When my mom had her breakdown, it was my sister that took over and guided us.  When we had to make a decision as to whether or not to put my mom in a mental hospital after breakdown number two, it was my sister who held us together.  I shut down.  I couldn't or didn't want to face that truth.  Luckily, we didn't have to go through such drastic measures because my mom's meds started working and soon she became herself again.  My point is that it's always been my sister that has been the strong one and for me to see her this way, helpless, defeated and empty, just tears me apart.  I know she will be alright, eventually.

In other news, it's freezing here in Houston. Literally!  Cold weather makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

But why??? :)

8 comments:

Jess said...

Kids can be so annoying...especially my own! lol I am sorry to hear your sister is going through such a rough time. I guess all you can do is be there for her to lean on.
Bundle up and stay warm!
Jess

Yvonne said...

Yep -they're cute as hell but annoying too! lol

The Frisky Virgin said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. You know, I frequently get the "if I were in your shoes" treatment, and I know they mean well (some of them anyway), but sometimes it's just too much. I don't anything about your sister's husband, but I already don't like him--sounds like he plays games, toys with your sister's heart. Not cool. Maybe being around you will help your sister to stand up to him.

Re: Your nephew. I was giggling all the way through! So cute!

Belle said...

I'm sorry for your sister and you having to see her pain. You are right, she should make up her own mind with no pressure.

After my first husband and I seperated, he wanted me to come back. I didn't know what to do so we went into marriage counselling. This helped me decide it was best to leave him for good. It was the right decision for me.

The Adorkable Ditz said...

That's like my brother. Autism makes them talk and talk and talk and talk and they don't realize how to have an appropriate conversation sometimes.

One night last week, Cam Man was talking with me and my mom about something and then he interrupts him midsentence to talk about a video game for 15 minutes. Now this annoyed me and mom and thankfully Cam Man didn't seem to mind too much, but we (mom and I) told my brother that what he did was rude and that he should wait for an appropriate break in conversation.

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

Shady Del Knight said...

Well, there's a lot going on in this one. We tend to cling to that which is familiar even if it doesn't serve us, and we tend to shy away from change and the unknown even when it will be of benefit. Your sister is the strong one. She is used to stepping in and fixing problems around the family. She keeps giving in and reconciling with her husband because she keeps thinking that she can fix him as well. The meltdown comes when she has to admit to herself that it's not working. I wish her and Ethan all the best.

Yvonne said...

FV -Ethan is super cute! :) And yeah, my brother in law is douche bag!

Belle - I really hope she doesn't go back. He's toxic.

Ditz - How old your brother again? Well, Ethan says, "Excuse me" really loud when you are in a conversation with someone and he wants to talk. lol

Shady - Thank you. You're exactly right!

♥ The Lyrical Designer ♥ said...

women and men... a never ending mystery.
its a good thing your sis has you and mom!!!!