Sunday, January 9, 2011

Kiss This!

Tonight's topic of discussion boys and girls is kissing. That's right, "locking lips" as it were. So I read an article in a girlie magazine and they asked the question: "What Makes A Kiss Bad?" Which got me thinking (brace yourselves!) about best kiss versus worst kiss. For me personally, I love kissing.  But nothing ruins a kiss faster than a BAD kisser. To explain, last summer, I was on a first date with someone that a friend had set me up with. (Yes I'm a glutton for punishment!) There was no attraction on my part, but I could tell he was interested in me. At any rate, when he went in for the kiss, I let him.  Hey, what can I say? I had some wine and the mood was right.  Or maybe I just wanted it to be right. Bleh! So he kisses me and right away I'm thinking to myself, "Make it stop! Make it stop!!!" First, he had bad breath. Not beer breath or liquor breath, just BAD breath. Second, I felt as if a dog had lapped my face -it was so wet. And third, he nearly choked me with his tongue down my throat, on my teeth, it was like I was getting a free teeth cleaning! That kids, is an example of a BAD kiss! In contrast, I've had great kisses, but none compare to this one particular guy who is still to this day, the BEST I have ever kissed.  Ok, so it helped that I was attracted to him. But I think even if I had not been, damn after kissing him I would have become attracted! Ha! What made it great? Hmmm, our first kiss was out of this world. -to me anyway. It was soft, and and tantilizing and daring, he caressed my face, looked into my eyes, and he knew exactly how to move his tongue in such a way that I didn't feel like he was shoving it down my throat. And there was no feeling of "dog lapping" residue on my face. He put an effort into the act and that made it very sexy, and me very happy!  When I told a friend of mine the story of the bad kisser she asked me if it would have made a difference if he had had a mint to lessen the bad breath experience. I looked at her like she was crazy, "I wasn't going to try kissing him again!"   She wanted to know why not? She said I should not discount him solely because of the kiss.  Maybe if I had been attracted to him I would have given it another try. But I wasn't.  So what was the point?  Besides, some things you just can't erase and forget about. In the end I suppose everyone has their own bad kiss/great kiss version.  Tell me some of yours and then, go out and kiss someone!

*Muah!*

16 comments:

ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

Bad breath is an instant killer. To answer your question, a good kiss involves great timing and rhythm. It's like a a painting but the tounge is a brush.

Shady Del Knight said...

You can't unring a bell and you can't do over a bad kiss. I am very much like you, Yvonne. I don't have much patience or tolerance for a partner who isn't a good kisser. The magic must be there. The lightning bolt must strike when lips and tongues meet and if it doesn't I back away and move on. It's only fair to her and to me.

In the case of your bad kiss, mints can't fix the damage that was already done. If you gave that guy another chance you would always have a mental block that would greatly diminish your pleasure. Chemistry isn't something you should have to work at. It's either there or it isn't.

One of the most electrifying kisses of my life came when I was 16. I wound up riding to a party in the back seat of a friend's car with a girl that I had just met who also needed a ride to the party. As we talked I got the distinct impression that the girl wasn't into me because she was aloof and refused eye contact. Somehow we ended up kissing and that kiss told an entirely different story. It practically launched me into orbit! That young lady did things with her tongue that nearly prompted me to make a citizen's arrest! (nearly)

Bottom line: if he or she is a phenomenal kisser, you can bet that they have many other skills. Know what I mean, Vern?

Belle said...

Oh man, I have been with some great kissers. I guess the best was a guy who turned out to be an undercover cop who ended up arresting one of my best friends for drug dealing and car stealing. He pretended to be a high school student.

Cinderita said...

Okay, First I gotta say..@Belle..that is hot! Kissing an undercover cop?! Something very sexy about that. Especially if he was a good kisser.

I'm sorry I didn't see this post last night or I would've been here asap!!

Bad kissing = GROSSNESS

I too have an example of a bad kiss. The guy was older. It was our 3rd date, he'd come over for a movie and ordered in dinner. It was lovely. cuddled on the couch. you know, the whole thing. Then as he was leaving, I was laying on the couch after he'd gotten up, and he came and leaned over my face, so I figured okay, what the heck. I'd give it a go, although I wasn't attracted to him enough to want to kiss him. But he asked so I let him. OMG! It was brutal. His tongue was looking for a puck in my mouth. I swear. back and forth back and forth back and forth like he was looking for something. and he didn't once stop the tongue action to actually get any suction. it was gross. My mouth was sopping wet when he was done. I actually pushed him off me. I said "what was that?" and he said "it's the thing i'm best at..." I immediately felt bad for him. If that's the thing he's best at...yikes.

Good/Great kissing = I like a little noisy kissing. That turns me on. I like it to start off slowly and built to full on passion. Just the right amount of tongue, a little bite on the lower lip every now and again...yah. *sigh*...

Yah. I think I need to make out.

Shady Del Knight said...

Belle, I gotta ask. Did you "lay down the law" ?????

Yvonne said...

Israel - oh look at you getting all poetic on me! but you're right. bad breath=instant killer.

Shady-very true.

Belle - Whoa! I want to hear more about the undercover cop! Sounds very intriguing!

Rita - I was wondering where you were! lol You and me both sister!

Belle said...

That guy's kisses and personality are one of my favorite memories! I did wonder why he never tried to touch my boobs though! Or anything else.
We went to a drive-in and necked all night in the back seat while my friend (the drug dealer) was in the front seat with my best girlfriend. The cop must have gotten turned on, he kept whispering (well, moaning) in my ear, "Belle, Belle." Crap, I wish I had been a few years older, I might have snagged him. I was 16 or 17. I can't remember now.

Seriously Though said...

Here's some weird blog - internet coincidence. I read your post and it got me to remembering the most wonderful kisser I have ever had (almost 30 years ago) I fell into a trance almost remembering those kisses. Then I left his blog and (twilight zone music) on my facebook page in the corner was a suggestion for a "friend" and guess whose name & face it was???? How weird is that.

Seriously Though said...

oops *left your blog* (not his)

Robin said...

I am in agreement with the fellow who said something like great kissing is like art. I have read too many comments now to quote him exactly right. I know that the fellow I dated who definitely was the "best kisser" turned kissing into an art form. We literally could kiss for an hour. It was very ::HOT:: And it was definitely a sign of better things to come. If he can kiss well, he knows how to do other things well, too. In other words, he has got it ALL going on. Now, I really miss him. And here I thought I was totally over it.... lol. Seriously, a kiss is never just a kiss. If a guy doesn't light you up with the kiss, definitely give him the KISS OFF. That is not going to end well. But that is just my opinion.

Robin said...

Now, that I have a chance to look back at the comments I can see that I am in agreement with Mr. Shady Del Knight. Wanted to get that name in there...

Robin said...

And Israel Carrasco. You have a lot of followers who know a lot about kissing...

Yvonne said...

ST - do we have friends in common? That's totally random and funny!

Robin - thanks for visiting and i totally am in agreement with you. kissing is an art and with a bad kisser -it totally takes away the magic!

The Frisky Virgin said...

Bad kissers are the worst. Your big bad kisser is probably one of the worst. A friend of mine had her face mauled--she looked like she had been beaten...no joke. It's really scary how many really bad kissers there are out there.

Yvonne said...

FV - Oh my! "Mauled"? Poor thing!

♥ The Lyrical Designer ♥ said...

mmmmm... yummy! LOL

i remember a good many great kisses but this one guy made my legs go all jelly-like.i literally could not hold my head up!! kisses are so awesome...such a great insight into a person's personality.