Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Moody Much?

Accomplished. I thought a lot about that word today and what it means. The dictionary (yes, I still use that book with a lot of words and defitions in it and yes, I know I can just as easily look it up online. Color me pre-historic!)says that Accomplished means a. proficient as the result of practice or training ; also : skillfully done or produced b : having many social accomplishments
2: established beyond doubt or dispute . Hmmm, "established beyond doubt or dispute" that struck a chord with me. Before I go on, I must tell you that the whole reason I even started thinking about this was because my friend Maricela took her last final in nursing school today. She graduates next week! And I am so very proud of her! She's one of the musketeers in my life. (for those not in the "know" please see my post Dolce Vita!) And last week the other musketeer, Michelle, closed on her first home. Both very special moments in thier lives. And, very accomplished. And then there's me. Now, I don't really want this to turn into a "woe is me" post. And forgive me if it comes across as such. It's just I feel inept and inadequate and very not accomplished with myself. I don't want to say I feel like a failure, but sometimes, yeah, I kind of do. I am very blessed to have the love and support of my family and friends. I realize that. Sigh, but I have not done half of what I want to do with my life. And sure, circumstances and bad decisions and fear of ha,ha, failure, has kept me from going as far as I know I can go. In a sense, I've been sabotaging my own chance of success, in my finances, in love, in my career. So when my friends share their good news with me, I'm reminded of the fact that I'm not accomplished. -At least, not in my eyes. I sound like Debbie Downer, I know, I know! I've asked before, but I will do it again, humor me. Why is that we are our own worst critic? Why are we hardest on ourselves? I'm my own punching bag tonight.

Ok, enough! MUST.SHAKE.THE.FUNK.AWAY!!!

10 comments:

The Adorkable Ditz said...

Don't worry your accomplishments will come and you will be elated. We are our own worst critics because we expect so highly of ourselves and when we don't do what we want or get things done the way we want them to be done, we get mad.

We're all just self perfectionists. Realistically or not.

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

Belle said...

Yes, I think Adorkable is right; a lot of us are perfectionists. I have definately had times in my life when I felt like a failure. I didn't finish high school or college - both times because of social phobia. I've never had a great job and now I can't work at all. Boy, do I understand what you mean.
But I think we measure ourselves by the wrong yardstick. I think if we are kind, thoughtful, loving, honest - if we strive for those virtues and achieve some of them, then we are not a failure at all.

Remember that Christmas movie with James Stewart where he is going to jump off a bridge because he thinks he is a failure. God sent an angel and showed him how much he had helped people. I think if we help people in this world then we are not a failure at all. The greatest gift you can give the world is your love. I believe you have love in your heart Yvonne.

Shady Del Knight said...

For a long time I felt like everybody else was accomplishing more than me. Eventually I got that keeping up with the Joneses was using too much of my valuable time and energy so I stopped the madness. I focused my attention on what specifically I needed to do to produce real change in my life. I eliminated "woulda," "shoulda" and "coulda" from my vocabulary, got out of my own way and just went for it. Sometimes you must take massive action and "if you must you can."

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

♥ The Lyrical Designer ♥ said...

ok the first part of what im going to say is this:

I am with you on this. I feel this all the time and i know how it feels when someone you know gets ahead and even though you feel happy for the person, it twinges a little. And i wanted to say. Its gonna be ok. You know why?...because that path, however sweet it looks, is not yours to walk on. If you did do the things that person did. It would turn out horribly for you. Which brings me to my second point:

You are made uniquely. You are one of a kind. There is no one else like you. God has you in his hand and your life path is being worked out. So that means your future is a totally different set of achievements and failures designed to help YOU grow. And you HAVE. I see in you a beautiful person, inside and out and if you feel failure then know that it is not a feeling that God wants you to have. This world is not a kind one. And your life is not without its accomplishments. I can assure you of that. You are precious!!!Nothing you do goes undervalued.

Cinderita said...

*Amen* Lyrical Designer. *amen.

Yvonne said...

All - You sure know how to make a girl feel special! I appreciate each and everyone's comments and take them to heart. And if I wasn't so tired I would thank you individually! Love, love!

Poetry Is Life said...

i love the dictionary

Yvonne said...

PIL- Thanks for the follow! Yay, someone else who loves the dictionary! :)

The Frisky Virgin said...

I think we all feel that way from time to time. :( It's a horrible feeling. My mom always says I'm my worst critic, and she's absolutely right. Sometimes I have to remind myself to ease up--we're only human. :) *hugs*