Thursday, November 18, 2010

"At Night"

I wrote this some time ago. However, am considering it for a writing contest. Please let me know your thoughts.

When I was seven years old, my dad's uncle would come into my bedroom late at night and touch me in very unlike uncle ways! I knew it was wrong for him to do what he did and I wanted to tell someone but I was afraid. I felt that in some way it was my fault. I didn't want my dad to kick him out, he had nowhere else to go. He was family. So I kept it to myself. Through the course of two years the molesting continued.
I wish I could say that that he was the only one. But I can't and he wasn't. During that time, my dad was doing the same thing. He never went further than touching my "not yet developed" breasts. Still, I hated when he did that. I wanted him to stop. I told him to stop. But he told me to be a good girl. And so I was.
I'm now 20 years old. I live a good life. I live a fast life. I drink heavily. Have lots of sex and like to dominate men. I get paid very well for what I do. Yes I make men pay me to have sex with me. It's a privilege I indulge on a selected few. I don't do drugs. I go to church. I confess my sins. I have a family. Dysfunctional as it is, but I have one. I graduated top five percent from college. I have a degree in Journalism. I write a column for a prestigious woman's magazine. And I whore myself out at night.
I guess it all started one night during my senior year in high school. I was on a date with the "crush" of the week! Geeky, nerdy, accident prone he was, but he was so cute! And he drove a mustang! I gave him my first blow job. I didn't even know what I was doing. But he seemed to enjoy it all the same! I think I may have hurt him though! I was inexperienced, trying to suck something that I had never sucked before. It was awkward. But interestingly enough, I liked it. And so did Julio. That was his name. In fact, he liked it so much he wanted it all the time. Well, I didn't want to do it all the time. So if he wanted it that much, "What's it worth to you?" I asked him after he was practically begging me to go down on him. We were in his car, breathing hard and sweaty after a serious make out session.
"What do you mean?" he asked almost innocently.
I batted my eyelashes at him and smiled. Then I put my face really close to his and said, "If you want me to make you feel good, you're going to have to pay me..."
I can't describe the rush I got from saying that to him. It was fantastic! My heart was pounding and the blood in my body was boiling.
"Pay you? Are you serious?"
I smiled flirtingly at him and said "Yes" almost in a whisper.
He was seventeen years old. How much money could he give me really? I knew that. I just wanted to see if he would do it. And he did. That night I was paid $22.00 to suck his cock. No penetration of any kind. I was only sucking that night.
That was almost four years ago. I now charge anywhere from $100.00 to $1,000.00 a night. Of course I do more than suck at this point.
There are a handful of close friends that know of the double life I lead. They along with my sister hate it and have asked me to seek help. Help? What kind of help could I possibly seek? Imagine going to the psychiatrist and saying, " By day I'm a normal person. By night, I turn into a prostitute, slut, whore, whatever your choice of brand is!" Besides, I didn't want help. I enjoy what I do. I harm no one. I am not married. I have no children. I don't even have a dog. And I'm making money -the old fashioned way.
At my father's funeral, I couldn't control my crying. The tears just would not stop. To this day I do not know if I was crying because I will miss him, or because I felt guilty for being glad he was dead. I don't know how much longer I will keep up with this life I lead. I suppose until I feel vindicated or feel anything at all. I've punished myself enough.
I lost my innocence a long time ago.


Cinderita said...

Wow. I barely breathed as I read this. Wow. It's amazingly well written, (there seems to be a word missing from the last paragraph). It's fantastic. Wow! I find I want to know what happens next. Thank you for sharing that! Enter! for sure!

Miss Vicki said...

Wow...I am speechless...thank you for sharing with us.

Belle said...

Some of these events have happened in my family. It is very well written.

The Frisky Virgin said...

Whoa! This character jumps off the page! You can't help but sympathize and want to help her. Wonderfully written--it's dark, intriguing, and leaves you wanting to know what will happen next.

Enter that contest!!!

Cinderita said...

@Frisky - did you really feel like you needed to help her? I found myself thinking..hey...I could do that too. Does that make me bad? :-) It just caught my eye when I read that you wanted to help her. Yes the child her, but not the grown up her. Not like that anyway. Okay, I will stop talking now.

Yvonne said...

Cinderita - So glad you liked it, thanks! Thanks for the heads up on the missing word. I tend to get "typing happy" and go too fast! lol

Miss Vicky - thank YOU for reading it! I'm glad you liked it. I'm still trying to figure out if it's going to end there or go somewhere.

Belle - Really? Do tell! Thank you for reading it!

FV - Thanks! Yes I'm pretty proud of it. I am still working on it but this is what I will be submitting to the contest.

Cinderita - No it doesn't make you a bad person silly! She is troubled though and seeks acceptance, affirmation and attention from men. Interesting that both you and FV both want to help her.

Thanks for the input thus far!

Anonymous said...

Bravo! I think you should expand on this, it's heavenly! Well in the devilish, sinner sense I suppose.

Me, myself and I said...

Wow, that was a great piece of writing!

I gave you an award!!! Visit my blog to see!

♥ The Lyrical Designer ♥ said...

I felt mad, angry, then hot and bothered and then sad and then protective and then wanted to slap some guy silly .... all in one!!

very strongly written. I do hope there is redemption at the end of it, for her.


I like it especially the BJ part. I'm a guy.

Yvonne said...

Ditzy - Yes I'm definitely going to expand on it, just now sure how yet. Glad you liked it!

MM&I -Aww thanks for the award! And for reading my blog! I'm glad you liked the story!

LD - Wow, I did a good job if it evoked all those emotions! Thanks!

Israel -ha, I KNEW you would like that the best! :)

Sandra said...

I have to say I'm with Cinderita...I was kind of like, "Damn, I wish I wasn't married, there's some great coin in that." And really, you're in control.

Shady Del Knight said...

Are you waiting for me all this time, Yvonne? (LOL) Okay, I'll come right out and say it. I agree with Israel - there's no job like a blowjob! Please do more posts along these lines.

Go Texans, beat those Jets! OOOPS!!!

Yvonne said...

Shady -lmao! yes, i've been waiting with bated breath for you to comment on my blog! what took you so long??? lol you're such a man, of course you would agree with Israel about the blow job! And shut yo mouth about the Texans! I still feel like throwing up!!!

Shady Del Knight said...

Okay, here's the thing. I was going to comment on day one but I was afraid of writing the wrong thing and offending someone. Yes, I am a typical man and as such this story had me torn. Part of me instinctively wanted to protect the innocence of an underage girl or at least help that girl in adulthood. The other part of me, truth be told, responded as most hetero men would to the notion of a woman in possession of such highly developed skills, oral and otherwise, that she could have men begging her for it and even paying for it. You have a knack for writing this type of material, Yvonne. There's no getting around it. Very hot! I felt that I owed you more than a flip comment on this very provocative and well written story.

Yvonne said...

Shady - Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your comments
-all of them!

The Reason You Come said...

I like her character. She's got spunk. She knows how much power women wield over men, and she knows how to use it. Maybe it's too naughty, but I find myself thinking, "Dang, why didn't I think of that when I was younger?"

Anastasia said...

I like the story idea, there's a lot there with her state of mind, how she thinks she's in control, but it seems like her past is really what's controlling her.

I know this is almost a pitch to get your feet. And the writing is good. I would slow it down a little bit and maybe have it less conversational. But otherwise I am excited to read more! Thanks for sharing.

Yvonne said...

The Reason You Come -LOL I've had the same thought from time to time as well! Thank you for dropping n!

Anastasia-Thank YOU for reading and the suggestions!