Thursday, October 21, 2010

Reality and Writing -A Nice Flow

Writing has always been therapeutic for me. I've been writing since I was about 15 years old. The past few years however, I let life get in the way and in true ADD fashion, I kept going for the next best thing to catch my attention. I neglected my first love. My second love is a close second and that is reading. -But that's for another time and another blog. So earlier this summer, a whole lot of crap happened to me. Some life changing, some just, well, not good. At any rate, I found myself falling back into the "black hole" and depression soon engulfed me. It's been a long and hard past four months -almost five! But I'm so glad to say that I am better. I am so much better than I was just a few months ago. And part of the reason is because of this outlet. This blogging that I do. Besides giving me satisfaction, it also gives me insight and at times triggers forgotten memories or burried memories. Sigh, I still have a lot of work to do, but for the most part, I'm better. I never thought I would be able to say that. Oh, I still have my issues, LOTS of issues! And lets not forget that certain someone that still pulls my heart strings. But even so, I've come to the realization that he will always have my heart. I can't change that, no matter how hard I try. So I don't try anymore. It is what it is and I have no regrets. In spite of all of that I'm dealing with the demons this time, and not discarding them, or putting them away for later. I'm handling what needs to be handled. Slowly, a better version of myself, is emerging. And I like it.

4 comments:

Dani-Q said...

All this posts really needs in response is a smile. But because that would just look weird, I'm explaining why I'm giving it a smile.

:)

Sometimes, a smile says everything, and I hope you get the meaning behind this smile. You're so strong.

Yvonne said...

I get it. I don't always feel strong though. It's taken a long time for me to believe in my strength. Thanks for reading and your comments though, they are appreciated! :)

Fickle Cattle said...

I'm not sure what this post is really about, but I like the first commenter's comment. :-)

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

Shady Del Knight said...

You are doing the right thing by getting it all expressed no matter how often you need to do it. When you get your issues out on this electronic glass paper we're using and weigh the input of friends it demystifies your demons. You have the power to control and manipulate them, not the other way around.

Always remember that you are not alone. Your situation is not unique. We all have scars. We all carry baggage. All of us have had our hearts broken and our dreams dashed. As a mutual friend (TR) would tell you, "it's not what happens to you, it's what you do about it that counts."