What is it about ourselves that sometimes makes it so difficult to confront a situation? To just say no, or yes, whatever the case may be? In chatting with one of my girlfriend's tonight, she told me about a guy that she met and how she gave him her phone number. But she has no interest in him whatsover. So why did she give him her number? And now he's calling and she's ignoring his calls. -See? That's what I mean. Like her, I've been guilty of doing the same thing, randomly giving someone my number, only to have him call me and then I don't pick up. When the soluation would be so much simpler. -Just answer and tell him that you're not interested, or to stop calling. Or better yet, don't give out your number if you don't want him to call! But we don't do that. And if alcohol is involved, forget it! Instead, we ignore the poor guy and hope he tires soon! Maybe it's because we don't want to come across as being mean, or maybe because we don't want to upset them. Or maybe it's because we don't like confrontation. Whatever the case, it creates unwanted stress. "Oh no, he's calling again!", "Ugh! I wish he would get the message!" -and on and on. Who needs the aggravation? In keeping in tune with my self-discovery and road to a beter version of myself, I decided that I would from now on, force myself to confront whatever situation that needed confronting. No matter what. Making yourself look at something and dealing with it, is better than ignoring it, hoping it will go away. I've been doing that far too many years now, and it's time for a change. Which is why, I'm writing this. It gives my decision validation. Only to me perhaps, but really, that's all that matters. No one said this road would be easy, I've taken a few punches but keep coming back, like Rocky.
I hope my friend, if she is reading this, will get some courage and bite the bullet and tell him to stop calling her. -In a nice way of course! :)
3 comments:
I think this is a good goal to strive for. When you get older like me, you'll find it very easy to say no to people. I think it is because I said yes too many times and regretted it, just as you have.
I agree with Belle. When you get older your time becomes more precious to you. You learn to set boundaries and "just say no."
There's an art to saying no. It doesn't have to feel like a rejection or a slap in the face. If you do it elegantly using tact and diplomacy a no can seem as satisfying (even flattering) as a yes.
When drinking is involved there is often a need for residual damage control because you say and do things you regret in the morning. Like any other unresolved issue it is better do deal with a persistent caller sooner rather than later. If you remain polite but firm you can extricate yourself from awkward situations. As Belle and I pointed out it is far better to avoid them in the first place.
Wise words guys! Thanks!
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