Saturday, June 20, 2020
A Post Not COVID-19 Related-Part Deux
As you know (if you read my previous post) I had a colonoscopy/endoscopy procedure on Friday afternoon. In order for this to happen, I had to "prep" for it the day before. Per my doctor's orders, I was not to eat or drink anything ALL DAY Thursday and I had to immediately begin drinking that oh so tasty concoction they call "The Prep", as soon as I got home from work. Let me tell you something about that "prep", it is disgusting. It's a clear liquid that comes in two 6 oz bottles. I had pour one of the bottles into a 16 oz cup and mix it with water. It smells like a combination of furniture cleaner and mildew. I had to drink it Thursday evening and then again first thing in the morning. This of course prepared your insides to be cleansed. I'll spare you the details.
My procedure was scheduled for late in the afternoon, which meant that I was not to eat or drink anything that day either, until after everything was done. Y'all I was beyond hangry when I got to the hospital for pre-op and although everyone was so nice and so attentive, I wanted to scream at them because they were moving at a snail pace and it was killing me. The colonoscopy and endoscopy took all of 24 minutes. Yes that's right boys and girls, 24 minutes, I asked. The pre-op took almost two hours! TWO.HOURS. There was a lot of waiting and filling out of papers and signing my life away, and inserting the IV. I swear I got pricked so many times I felt like I was a pin doll or something. The best part was when they gave me the anesthesia. The last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist asking me if I was ok. I was out like a light. I woke up groggy, hungry and thirsty. But I felt as if I had just taken the best "nap" in a long time.
Test results were negative for cancer, thank God. That was the main concern of my doctor and me of course. She did find that I a minor issue in my stomach that they had to biopsy but she's not overly concerned about it and neither am I at this point. I'm just glad that I don't have to do this again until ten LONG years from now. The end of this saga in my life was kind of a letdown. I kind feel like I should have at least been given a "I Survived A Colonoscopy and Endoscopy during a Pandemic" tee-shirt or something. But no, I just got copies of the endless documents I had signed and oh yes, pictures. I almost forgot to mention that. They give you frigging pictures of your colon and your butt inner things. Because who doesn't want to see those body parts up close and personal like that? One word. GROSS. I took one look (a quick one) and put them away. Not the kind of souvenir I like to collect.
One of the nurses asked me as she was discharging me, if I was going out to eat once I left the hospital. I laughed and nodded yes but honestly, I was too groggy to do anything but sleep on my way home. So my "feast" consisted of scrambled eggs and toast. Best.Meal.Ever. My tummy approved :)
Words of advice to everyone, please take care of yourselves and listen to your body. And even if you have to put on your big girl panties or big boy underwear, do it. Take the tests. Have the procedures. Your life is too beautiful not to take care of it. Yes, even during this crazy ass year of ours. Life is beautiful.
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